Not-So-Baby MonkeyZillaToddler Ike
September 26, 2012
Hey, Internet. It's been real. It's been really very really real.
BUT IT'S ALL OVER NOW.
The walking-up-the-stair like a fully erect homo sapien photo I posted on Monday is not even half of what's going on, of what Not-So-Baby Ike is now capable of.
Turn your back on him for a second and voila! He's pushed a stepstool out from where you "cleverly" "hid" it and...
Not pictured: The time he pulled this same trick in front of the open pantry and I found him up on his tippy toes, hurling soup cans onto the floor while trying to reach a box of granola bars.
Personally, I blame the playgrounds. They are giving our country's toddlers an inflated sense of accomplishment and rewarding them for gross motor skill development and I for one will not stand for it anymore.
They are a menace and must be stopped.
Somebody start a petition or something.
We installed drawer and cabinet latches about six years ago. We broke every single one in under a week.
And that about brings you up-to-date on our current level of childproofing, save for a couple baby gates that Noah and Ezra know how to open but never remember to close and that detail will be important in a bit.
I have zero measuring spoons now. I have no idea where he's taking them.
But back to the baby gate thing. I close them, the boys open them. And Baby Ike has developed a near sixth sense when it comes to the opportunity.
We've seen him go UP plenty of times. As of last night, he know thinks he's hot shit at the going down part too.
Which, you know, fine. One less thing to worry about, right? He can get up, he can get back down. Except that he's already tired of the belly-scoot method and tried to walk down the stairs this morning.
Not pictured: Yeah, THAT.
(He's fine. I caught him. And my heart resumed normal function about four hours later.)
Good thing he's so cute. Those genes must survive to adulthood. I'll do my best.