The Man on the Metro
Every Which Way But Good


God, even *I* can't handle that last post anymore. Subject change! Subject change! I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine hand flaps hand flaps deflecting humor GAH.

Moving right along. Some of you may be interested in hearing that yes, I still do have a cat. 

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And he is still as delightfully, clichedly cat-like as ever.

He will not hunt mice or stink bugs or crickets, but goddamn it, those motherfucking blind cords are gonna get themselves a vicious mauling and shredding. YOU SHALL NOT MENACE MY FAMILY, BLIND CORDS. 

He's 14 now, which: Not a fan of thinking about that. His stomach is a lot more sensitive and he's gone from being a solid muscular tank of a cat to one who is...thin. Lightweight. More delicate and bony. He's old, basically. But still happy and cuddly and enjoying his life of non-stop leisure mixed with fresh sink water, uppity fancy canned food and the occasional catnip high. 

He remains unfailingly patient with the children, especially Ike. (Who calls him "Cah." Usually moments before hurling his body over Poor Cah and grabbing fistfuls of fur.) He will seek out Noah and Ezra for more appropriate levels of affection, and will happily sit on their laps in front of the TV, vegging out and purring, like duuuudddddes, I am so happy you baby things calm down after awhile.

Also still alive and kicking, albeit barely:

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Max's Puppy, who is very literally just a shell of what he once was. I gave up restuffing and sewing his wounds a couple years ago. 

Max doesn't care, though. Max still likes carrying him around, wandering the house in the early wee hours of the freaking shut up oh my god morning, meowing at the top of his goddamn lungs.

And (obviously) carefully arranging him on my bed or next to my pillow, like "I'll be joining you in a bit to walk across your face and sleep on your arms, but in case I'm late, here's my disgusting faceless Zombie Puppy. He can not-stare at you while you sleep."

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What can I say? He's a giver, this Cah.



Awww...pretty "ditty"! (My son's version of "cah" or really any four-legged animal. :)


That WAS a pleasing interlude!

We have our first drinks-from-a-faucet cat now. It took us a surprisingly long time to figure out why he was standing in the sink meowing at us.

Synnove @

He's so sweet! And what a nice boy to actually let the kids touch him!


Wait, are those wine bottles in your bathroom!?!?!?!


@Laura Yes, but it's not what you think! (i.e., that we are drunks who store wine in the bathroom)

We use empty wine bottles as candleholders when our power goes out, which is ALL THE DAMN TIME. Those are leftovers from the last outage just in case we need them again. I also like to light candles when I take baths and stuff, so I use those.

We COULD buy some actual proper candleholders, or...we could drink more wine. Tough call, right?


We have found that some kitten food in our older cat's food has stopped his unexplained weight loss and given him more energy. The extra calories and protein seem to really help. I just thought I would pass that on.


Be patient--the caterwalling gets worse the older they get. My nearly 18 year old Samcat drags his nearly-as-old fuzzy toy around hollering HEH-WOE? HEH-WOE??? (yes, I will fall over dead when I hear him holler MAWWAIGE...MAWWAIGE...because that is who he is channelling) so loud we've had to put him in the downstairs bathroom just to makea business call--upstairs. In the office. With the door closed.


Lookin' good, Max, lo these.. 8 (?!) years later! (Puppy, not so much.. but that relationship is freaking adorable.)


La, la, la I can't hear you. Cats don't get old. Fourteen is young! My cat will live forever!


Ha! My cat has a stuffed kitty that we call his girlfriend caus he, well, you can imagine what he does with it. Everytime we leave the house when we get back he has dragged her out into the living room. Or we hear him yoweling to her in the middle of the night. But he loves her so much, so we just keep throwing her in the wash from time to time.


Yeah, Brooke, what's that about? I haven't had a male cat in a long time, my last two were prim and proper old ladies who lived to be 16 and 19. But I fell in love, and got this gorgeous Maine Coon male and of course had him neutered at something like 3 months of age, so he would never do all those gross tomcat things. Well, guess what...he starts out with drooling and making biscuits on my blanket, and ends up humping it. I thought this wasn't gonna happen!!!


@Melissa We haven't tried that! Thanks for the info. It makes sense, and kitten food would (I assume) be gentle enough not to cause any turbo-horking.


Cat deflection (and not cat defecation like I typed at first I AM SO SUBCONSCIOUSLY DISGUSTING).

If my husband didn't swear he'd die, I'd get a cat. He's all my throat'll close up and I'm all stop being a wuss. If you loved us you'd breathe that dander and like it. And then I sat here for an idiotic amount of time trying to figure out how you found candles tiny enough to go inside a wine bottle opening, imagining you creating candle habitats like the ships in bottles and yeah, I don't deserve a pet.


My cat, who will be 20 in February, does this horrible howling/meowing noise that is just terrible. The vet says she's fine, I was worried she was in pain but they assure me that isn't the case. She has also decided she's an outside cat now, she's always gone back and forth but now she refuses to come inside so she lives on the back deck. I keep thinking she's going to go for a "walk" and not come back like many of our cats have done in the past (why do animals prefer to be alone to perish??), she will leave and be gone for a couple of days but always comes back.


My oldest cat is 15 1/2. She seems fine, but I know she won't be around forever. My oldest child is 12, so she was our first child. I have pictures of her cuddling with both of my children as infants, and she is my little barnacle. My cat carries around stuffed mice like they are babies, pitifully crying, then she kills them. ?


Couple things for you to investigate, Amy: chronic renal failure can cause wasting and vomiting, and Max is exactly the right age to develop it. Hyperthyroidism is also worth a look, as it can cause serious vocalizations and weight loss. Fourteen isn't terribly old for a kitty and I'd be cautious about blaming weight loss and loudness on age...

Angela Nilles

My cat puked after every meal until I switched her to grain-free food... expensive, but now she refuses to even try a less expensive grain free brand! Oh woe!


I agree with Corey - have him checked for hyperthyroidism. The good thing is that it IS treatable and not really hard to do. We lost one kitty 6 weeks ago ( very sad face ) but her sister (same litter) is still going strong and she is 18.5 now.


AWwwwwwwwwwwwwcat. He's gorgeous. My cat saw his picture and swatted at him earlier today on my instagram feed. She was all "handsome cat is my new boyfriend! where isssssssss he?"


That face! THAT FACE!!

I want this kitty!

And I love his puppy too.


He's just beeyootiful! Love those gorgeous eyes.

We took care of a friend's 15-yr-old female orange tabby for several months. I swear to God that cat could talk. We'd walk in the door and she would start talking, yelling "Heehhh-ROOOOoooo, Heeehhhh-ROOOOOOOOO."


Oddly enough, we have an asian/oriental mix cat who howls at the top of his lungs at all hours, who is also named Max. :|
Yours is an absolute beauty! Love the eyes!


Seconding a grain free kitten food suggestion, the eldest is now 19 (lalalala she'll live for ever) and has just recently managed to put on a whole pound bringing her up to a much healthier 7lbs. When she was lighter, it was much the same, bony and frail feeling. She's definitely got more pep now and also does the weird yodelling thing from across the house (even though she was always quiet before).

Nancy aka Wacky Mommy

Miaow. Hello, Max. LuLu, age 17, and Woogie, age 15, send their love. I think it's a Siamese cat thing -- LuLu yodels daily now.

Erika Mitchell

"Disgusting faceless zombie puppy" made me snort-laugh :)


I have 2 female siamese cats. They are from the same litter adn have been together ever since. They both eat the cords to all of my blinds also and only drink water from the sink. I am glad you have had so many great years with Max.

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