It's Hard Out There For A Baby Ike
The Man on the Metro

Red 40, Sugar, HFCS Everywhere, and Not a Drop to Drink

This post is sponsored by the Brita Bottle for Kids.

If I may be obnoxiously braggy for a second...

AUDIENCE: Oh, just for a "second?" Really? As opposed to...

Shut up! You all just shut up. Yes, for a second. Start the clock: None of my children drink soda. 

See? If you read that sentence fast enough, I am pretty sure you could get through it before the end of one-Mississippi. 

The thing is, none of my children drink soda because they don't like it. Noah and Ezra have both taken exactly one sip of soda in their entire lives, and to this day remember it as a horrible moment, a total betrayal of their faith in delicious, refreshing liquids. The second the carbonation touched their innocent tongues they shrieked and...well, I wouldn't say they spat it out as much as they simply opened their mouths wide and stared at me helplessly as the soda dribbled off their tongues and all over the table. 

They both refused to touch anything "bubbly" after that. Which is great. My soda = bubbly. My special wine-juice = oh, you know that's bubbly. 

Which is great. Soda is terrible for kids. Terrible for...well, everybody, really, and oh how I wish I could similarly recoil from a cold can of Coke, or at least be able to have it in my house without drinking it (followed by two more in rapid succession). I would be very, very happy if my children never picked up the habit and remained blissfully unaware that there are beverage choices beyond water, milk or watered-down juice. You know, for special occasions.

(God, doesn't our house sound like fun and a half.)

While I'm aware that eventually, it's all going to be out of my hands, I would very much like to live in my little dreamy-dream world of only healthy beverage options for at LEAST a little while longer. But it's already getting challenging. We went to a birthday picnic a couple weeks ago where the only drink choices for the kids (who were all in the toddler-to-age-six range) were red Kool-Aid pouches and cans of orange soda. 

Okay, health food snobbery aside, the fact is that Noah in particular CANNOT have that stuff. Artificial coloring and his little nervous system do not play nicely together. It makes him hyper, unfocused and incredibly anxious. But there we were, out on a playground on a hot humid day, and he was thirsty. The adults had already laid claim to a small stash of bottled water for themselves (or for their kids, since I swear I wasn't the only stick-in-the-mud who blanched at the idea of giving Kool-Aid to my child on top of the already endless cake and ice cream and candy). 

The only options I saw were giving in and letting him drink the red stuff and deal with the behaviorial consequences...or hoisting him up to take drinks some a somewhat suspect-looking water fountain near the park's bathrooms. 

Confession: I told Noah the juice pouches were bubbly and took him to the water fountain. 

So that's where I was, awkwardly holding up my 50+ pound child while still locked in a mental battle over which was worse: Red 40 or all of the GOD KNOWS WHAT in the water, when another mom came over to wait behind us. 

She had a water bottle with her. She unscrewed the cap and filled it up a the fountain, and I realized what it was. I realized what it was because I had JUST THAT WEEK agreed to write a sponsored post about one. (The post you are reading right now! So meta! So Neo-in-The-Matrix-saying-WHOA and stuff.)

It was a Brita Bottle for Kids, with a built-in water filter. You know, the exact sort of thing I would have killed to have in my bag that day. Mine was still in the mail.

It arrived a couple days later. Yay!

Photo (57)

Oooooh!

(Both to the bottle and my fresh pedicure, yes.)

Photo (58)

Ahhhhh.

(WHAT? It was my first pedicure since right before Ike's due date. I'm a little jazzed about my return to non-Hobbit-feet-ville, okay?)

Anyway, it's a brilliant little jobby thing. I love that I don't have to risk the contents of my bag getting soaked by hauling water around in "spill-proof" sippy cups (HA HAHAHAHAHA) and that I can fill it up anywhere, as many times as I need to (the filters last about two months). Since Ike isn't yet proficient with the sports-style spout, I bring a take-n-toss cup with a spout or straw for him then squirt filtered water into that. (Which isn't nearly as high-maintenance diva-ish as it sounds, since the water is filtered instantly and fills his cup up in a few seconds.)

No more over-priced, wasteful bottled water from vending machines, no more lamenting over non-healthy sugary beverage options, and no more babbling like a crazy person to other moms at the water fountain over their brilliant cup solution and that MINE'S IN THE MAIL MINE'S IN THE MAIL WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS AN AWESOME COINCIDENCE IS ALL. 

P.S. Ezra got his hands on a Kool-Aid pouch at the party and proceeded to drink at least three of them. He was a PEACH and a HALF the rest of the day. A hyper, shrieky, radioactive peach. OMG. 

Brita has offered me five additional bottles to give away to you guys. Leave a comment on this post between now and next Friday and I will randomly select five comments (via the robot at random.org) and then you, too, can be the weirdo on the playground shrieking about your magic filter cup being in the mail. Or, you know, you can be cool about it. Totally your call. 

This post is sponsored by the Brita Bottle for Kids. Learn more at Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Brita is teaming up with non-profit Alliance for a Healthier Generation to encourage kids to swap out sugary beverages and drink more water. As part of their partnership with the Alliance, Brita will donate more than 4,000 Brita Bottles for Kids to schools across the country to encourage healthy habits in their students.

Comments

Krystal

What a great idea, we would use the heck out of one of those at our house.

Sarah

Oh, I totally want to bed the screechy one at the playground! sounds brilliant. Neither of my kids will drink anything with bubbles (thank god), but they will tuck into any sugar laden, dye laden drink they get their hands on before I can intercept. (oh they are ninja there, but getting ready for school? Not so fast.)

MargieK

Sounds great! Not sure if I'll give it to my grandson or keep it -- because Omas need good water bottles, too.

Krystan

We have an adult size version and a kid who adores it but can't lift it to her two-year-old face hole when it's full because it's heavy for her. I would love to have one she can use all on her own! (And maybe not backwash into the water I get to drink right after she's done.)

Beth

Oh Brita, you're so crafty!

Nicole

I have an adult version! Would love the kid version too.

Faith

I would love one of these. (Also a pedicure)

Debbie

Very good idea. I'd love one.

Kate

I'm loving this idea!!! My Charlie hasn't had anything other than milk, water and some pedia-lyte when he was sick and I would be A-OK if he never knew the taste of liquid high fructose corn syrup. Don't even get me started on "Happy Meals".

jessica

Would LOVE one for my daughter!

Jax

My 7-year old HATES soda, too. There have been times when he's finished his beverage and he's still thirsty and the only thing left to drink is a sip of my ice-cold Coke. Ethan would rather die of thirst than partake in a sweet, delicious sip of... oh, rambling. Yeah, he hates it. But he loves water. This would be awesome to have on hand, since I HATE buying bottled water.

Lisa

I would love this! My daughters are ages 6 and 8 and only drink milk or water. They both say soda is too "spicy".

Luba

This is an awesome invention!!!

Claire

Sounds great!

Paula

Pick me already!

I was going to put one of these filter bottles in my Amazon cart, but I think I'll wait and see if I'm randomly selected.

Karen

Ooh, I would love one of those! My kiddo is still in the hatred of fizzy liquid stage, and I'm also wishing I could re-train my brain to get there... sadly, I love the fizz. Sigh.

Alexia

I would LOVE to have one of these for the little man. Our house is even less fun than yours... we have water and milk. I had to steel myself not long ago when my parents gave my little guy apple cider and said with true shock and awe, 'He likes it!' Well, thanks for that news flash parental people. Of course he likes it! It's super sweet... which may be why he's not had any! Pick me, puuhhllleeasee, pick me!

Cecily T

Love this! We are going to Sesame Place tomorrow, and it would be great to have one!

Sarah

I would love to have one. We tell our son that soda, beer, or wine is a Mommy/Daddy drink. Hopefully that means he'll be off sneaking soda in high school.

Allison

Oh my goodness, how awesome would this be for my 3 year old??? I can't count the number of times I've been out and needed water for her but didn't want to let her drink from the water fountain.

Kate S.

Yes please, sign me up! I tend to carry around little thermoses of water... but they leak. They leak in my pretty new "Hey look at me! I'm a grownup!" purse. It's very sad.

kacie

Omg...love those! Pick me mr. Robot! ;)

kacie

Omg...love those! Pick me mr. Robot! ;)

Christina

OMG, my 2 year old is exactly like that with soda. He tasted some coke from his daddy's glass once and it was open-mouthed dribbling immediatly. Sadly however, he got ahold of a can of flat soda last night and I had to pry it out of his hands because he was sitting there taking sips say "MMM, good" over and over.. *headdesk*. I would love to have a filtered water bottle, that is genius!

Sarah

(apologies in advance if this appears more than once, my comment keeps disappearing) Would love a new water bottle!

Jenny H.

That would TOTALLY rock!

Susan

I love this idea, and after a few too many autumn parties, will need to bring my own non-pouched beverage. :)

JoseMonkey

I CAN HAS WATER BOTTLE?

Rebecca

What a neat little bottle. Would be great for when you run out of water walking though the park!

al

my husband has one of these and I always get mad that he didn't buy me one too! Plus I have a new baby, so I should be having healty clean water right? RIGHT?!

Sara H

My daughter also does not like soda, which makes life easier, and I've noticed that my son can get a bit... squirrely... with red dye. AND they both want to drink out of every (nasty) water fountain they see, so I'd love one of these.

Bethany

My husband thinks it's ridiculous that I prefer filtered water. He rolls his eyes and refuses to accept that our water is full of minerals that, to me, make it taste a little like creek water. Sigh. I would love a sneaky bottle like this. You know, for my kid.

Jules

I've been scoping these for a while; they're brilliant! And I definitely almost spit out my own water reading the part about your boys' first taste of bubbles since mine did the SAME thing. I immediately thought "Awesome! He hates it!"

Amy

Yea for more water! We don't drink any soda at our house.

Peggy

Great idea. My kids don't drink soda either. My little one calls the bubbles "spicy!"

Zoë

My kids have never had soda either and I'm not ashamed to admit it! Well, technically, my son was given Sprite by the dentist after he had a filling and I think that experience may have been worse than having his tooth filled.

Ris

This is a brilliant product! I need me one of these.

Babylicious

LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of a kid version of this! My son is also highly susceptible to dyes/colors and I'm so tired of leaky sippy cups. What a great idea.

Jacquie

want!

melanie

Love you, hate public water fountains. Pick me, pick me (does that kind of behaviour increase my chances??). :)

Shannon

Now that is the perfect solution!!!

Sara

This looks cool! And you aren't the only stick in the mud. I'm not sure how the only options were Kool Aid and orange soda for little kids. Ew. At least some more water and some sort of juice. Good grief.

Katie

I'm the only person in my husband's crazy extended family who doesn't let their preschooler/toddler/TINY BABY drink soda and scary day-glow "juice." I would love to have one of these to further cement my hippie-crunchy-weirdo vibe at family functions. :)

Kate

I want one! I actually want one for me, as well as my kids. We already refill water bottles from disrespectful water fountains, and this looks fantastic!

Laura

Oh man -- I have ranted a few times about how RIDICULOUS it is that I have been to MULTIPLE parties (birthday and team sports) where there was no option besides soft drinks. It really just pisses me off that people can be so unaware that kids might not need to drink Coke, Dr. Pepper, whatever. I live in the fairly rural south and am not surrounded by health nuts. I'm not a health NUT either, but DANG. We were at a 6 year old's party over the weekend at a bouncy place and I had to go buy my 8 and 3 year olds a bottle of water from the front desk because the mom (who is a friend of mine) only brought sodas for the kids to drink in the party room and my kids don't drink any carbonated drinks (thank goodness). I was fuming inside at the craziness of that. Again, not a health nut here - my kids eat too much sugar, as most kids do, but why would you do that? At that point, a sugary drink pouch would have seemed like a healthy option.

carin

I just started reading and i think i like :) funny stuff!

Sherry

Mmmmmm...peaches.

Jenelle

I'm a pediarician who trained in Georgia, where is is commonplace to put juice and even Coke (!) in babies' bottles. Needless to say, My almost-four-year-old didn't even taste jusice until well after she turned two, and even now gets it only for a very special occasion. She loves water and is always asking to use my water bottle. She would love having a big girl bottle of her own.

Cheryl

Love the post and would LOVE one!

kwqr

Must have magic bottle please!
Geniuses those britta folks.

sarabean

I let my kid drink water out of a sippy that had been rolling around my floorboards for a week-ish before giving into the box-o'-sugar drink. One of the Britas would be amazing.

Rebecca

I would love one!

Amanda K

These sound amazing!

Jillian

I've been eyeing these up hard-core. I've been waiting for them to go on sale to buy. HA!!! Like that'll happen. So.....ME! ME! ME! PLEASE PICK ME RANDOM ROBOT THINGY!

Kelly

I would love one of these for my kiddo - we are in the same stage where he doesn't quite get the spout but it won't be long! Love that it's filtered as well!

hydrogeek

EEK! Me! Pick me!

Rikki.O

Would love one for the same basic reasons... holding off on soda as long as I can. Figure she'll find out about it in Middle School or Junior High, and will already be angsty and hateful by then anyway.

Melanie

Wow, this would be awesome! My kiddo drinks a crazy amount of water any time we go out, and I feel like I'm constantly buying her more water - I'd love to just be able to refill her cup anywhere!

Melissa E

Very cool! I have seen the adult version, but didn't know they made a kid-sized bottle.

Chelisac

I would love one of these (or actually maybe three or five!)

Melissa

Wait, if I win, can I have a pedicure instead? Is that part of this give-away?

No? Ok, the bottle would be cool too then :)

Brandy Burke

My 12 year old recently told me that when people die and cows poop, they dehydrate and the water goes into the clouds, rains down, and that is essentially what we're drinking.
No seriously, if you think about it, GROSS!

We'd love to have one of those around here - because drinking water is a hard process now!

Erin

Oooh! I want one!

Sandy W

My son also does not drink soda and neither do I. He has dyspraxia and he also can't have artificial colors or flavors. You are not the crazy one, I think ths others are.

Gina

Yay! I try to remember water bottles, but so many of them leak. Would love one that doesn't, like this one. Yay again!

Myssie

I caught shit at the last kid party I threw, for not having a soda option! Water and seltzer for the kids, beer and more beer for the adults.
You can't please everyone, but if you have enough beer it doesn't matter.
Thanks for the opportunity to win a filter bottle.

Lindsey

Would love one!

Penny

I'm already the shrieking weirdo at the playground. Might as well give me something to shriek about!

Peggy

We're those parents too. No Red 40 for us!

Amanda Torsani

My kids are avid water drinkers. I would love to have a few of these around!

Kelly

How? How have these not been invented before now? I WANTS!

Mmm-Hmmm. Juice overload. My husband gives our son tons of juice when he's in charge and then is like, "Why aren't you listening? What is wrong, you are usually so good?"

HA!

Tracy Fisher-Kava

I could seriously use these for my little monkeys! Seeing them drink out of any water fountain gives me the heebie jeebies!

Amy

Would love one of these!

Janssen

I had one those bobble filter bottles and finally threw it away because the filter was leaking into my water and also made my mouth hurt in a way I have NEVER experienced with another beverage container.

So clearly I need to try a new one. A free one, preferably :)

Jesabes

Those look great!

VandyJ

Of my two boys only the younger one drinks water with any regularity. One of those would come in so handy. So throwing my name in the hat, bowl, random picker thingy, whatever.

Susan

I'm in.

LKJ

What a great solution!

-k-

Commenting..

(I don't think that counts as bragging, btw. Just counts as awesome.)

Ree

What, you're not all up in the hygiene hypothesis? Germs are good for you and your offspring, woman. (Just kidding, I would love to try one.)

Liana

OMG, what a genius idea! I so want one of those!

RY

I'd love to win this!

Nicole Larkin

Pick me, pick me, pick me. :) seriously, though, pick me random selection machine because I really want one of these for my son.

Jessica

I NEEED one!!!!! Please, Thankyou! Bye!

Wendy

I want, want, want one! My daughter had Ida once, and declared it sour... I think she needs to brush up on her palette. But, this is awesome!

Dana

My daughter is only 17 months old, but I'm also hoping to keep her away from juices, sodas, and other sugary drinks for as long as possible. Wish I could get her to drink enough milk, but she does love water. It would be great to be able to filter on the go!

Wendy

*soda, that is, not Ida. Who the hell is Ida?

Sarah

Ooooh, a reusable filtered water bottle for kids!! I have twin girls who drink nothing but milk and water so this would be AWESOME to have. :)

Kristen

I pretty much given up soda since I've been pregnant (OK I have about one a week when at a restaurant). Still, I really want to pass along the water habit to my children. These look fantastic! I love the filter, since tap water in Phx, is BLECH.

Megan @ Mama Bub

Really? It doesn't spill? So it's like a MAGIC cup, then?

Gina Cole

I have been eyeing one of these at the store. I would LOVE to win one here. :)

Jennifer B

Looks awesome - pick me!

Jill

That looks awesome

Sophia

I'd love to give one of these to my adorable, curly-headed nephew!

Julie Williams

Wow, this is timely! I've been hunting down kid-friendly water bottles for my two lately.... My older one needs a bottle to take in her backpack to school, and my younger one just wants to be like his big sister.

Julie

My toddler loves water. He guzzles it like a college student guzzles beer. He also sadly likes sugar drinks because of his older brothers. I would love to have one of these bottles to take to high school ballgames.

Amelia

My daughter really needs one of these for just such an occasion! We recently went to a party where the only options were Sprite or Kool-aid. I caved and let her have the Sprite and omgggggg never again!

Amy

Thanks for the tip! Even if I don't win, I'll pick one up to have with me from now on.

Miranda

Would love to win! Thanks for doing a fun giveaway!

sllisme

My little one will only drink water when it's in a water bottle - this would be perfect for her!!

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