She's Lump, Part Three
October 02, 2012
Dee, when your ear lump acts up, take out your nose ring!
I spent about a half hour crammed in a bionic tube, listening to an unnerving cacophony of clangs, bangs and techno beats. It was like trying to take a nap at a gay steel mill on dubstep night.
Still less annoying than the sound of multiple children whiiiiiinnnninggg, though.
Anyway, look! It's the inside of my head!
Specifically, the inside of my ear. Which looks more than vaguely Ackbar-ish. Tell the truth: how badly do you want to cut-and-paste some googly eyes and type IT'S A TRAP on this right now? Pretty bad, I bet.
I am pretty sure this is the best, most flattering photo of me EVER. I should make this my Twitter avatar.
Anyway, here's The Lump, after a shot of contrast dye.
And while that looks cool and all, I was bummed to see this picture, as the technician explicitly told me that if the lump was in fact just a harmless fatty deposit or cyst, the contrast dye would do nothing to it and it wouldn't be visible. And yet there that fucker is, clear as day, looking all connected to Other Shit, and stuff.
Then again, I'm not a professional MRI Reader Person (don't let the size of that magnificent, spongy brain fool you), so I should probably put the CD of images and Google away and wait for my doctor to call with the full report. But where's the blogging fun in that? It's a tumah! Go for the bobopsy! Pour some wine on it!