Decorative Gourd Season*
Yo Voté & So Can You

Ode to Fall Back Day

Because I am a responsible grown-up lady in America, I spent about two hours yesterday staring at the clock on my wall and wondering why it didn't match up with the clock on my phone. 

hmm. brain waves....thinking....

....pondering....

....ouch, this hurts....

A lightbulb did eventually flicker on — old dusty frontporch in a horror movie style — and I realized it was Fall Back Day, and that I should probably just ignore the clock on the wall until Jason got annoyed by it, because he's tall enough to change it without having to climb on a chair, a chair which is like, allllllll the way over there.

(Always thinking, I am. Yes.)

When I was a kid, I have vivid memories of Fall Back Day, because I thought it was the SHIT. Since we were regular church-and-Sunday-school goers and I was a serial hater-of-mornings, I am not exaggerating when I say that I looked forward to Fall Back Day all year long. An extra hour! To spend in bed! And usually on such a nice chilly fall morning when you could really appreciate burrowing back into your nest of blankets and Care Bears instead of getting up and putting on a nice dress and tights — TIGHTS, MY GOD — and driving to church while frantically trying to memorize your weekly Bible verse and praying that there would be cookies before the main service and that you would get to the cookies before all the good ones were eaten. 

Royal

(The "good ones" were the sugar-coated pretzels. OBVIOUSLY.)

Spring Forward Day, on the other hand... Well, Spring Forward Day could go fuck itself. In a fire. With a pile of the stupid boring un-sugared round cookies. 

Anyway, I miss being able to really enjoy Fall Back Day. It's one of the little things that you miss after having babies, because babies do not give a rat's ass what the clock says. They are up and they are ready to party, or at least loudly complain about the state of their diaper. And the same went for my older children, who were up in my face at the side of my bed at 6 am sharp, demanding Cheerios and the current location of the iPad, so that they could play various screechy apps at top volume. 

And this morning, even though I knew it wasn't *really* 6 am, it was 7 am and I'd technically gotten just as much sleep as I was used to, it just felt so wrong. I was being cheated. Look at that clock. LOOK AT IT. Plus it's so dark and cold and I woke up at 3 am from a nightmare about The Walking Dead where the zombies were the plants from Plants vs. Zombies, which doesn't make any sense now that I'm thinking of it, because why would the plants be eating people when they're the good guys, or ohhhhh maybe I was actually dreaming about Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, but either way that was a pathetic-as-fuck nightmare and I can't believe it freaked me out but okay, fine, I've officially woken up enough to think this hard about it so I guess I might as well get up and make everybody some goddamn scrambled eggs.

I hope you're happy, FAMILY. None of you have ever had to go out in 40-degree weather in tights that you put on while half-asleep and thus the toe-seams are all crooked and the crotch is like, three inches lower than it should be. If you did, you'd understand, and you'd go back to bed, and you'd LOVE IT.

Comments

mpotter

oh i am so right there with you on the whole fall back day!
it has always been so awesome.
but mine never really included those yummy cookies!

(and right on about the tights, too)

let's wallow together in the spring.
AND- let's let the husbands be in charge that morning, yeah??

Carrie

I had dreams allllll night about The Walking Dead last night! I was in a group and we were raiding a CVS for supplies. For some reason, I felt it necessary to stock up on at LEAST5 of each type of makeup first...

Claire

We had this two weeks ago (UK and all that jazz!) We specifically kept the baby up late, went to bed early ourselves, and I turned my automatic phone time change off and changed it myself. I got grumpy when the baby woke up at 4 and wouldn't sleep for ages. Finally got him back off an hour later and he woke up at 6. Yay, success, I thought. Only to discover my phone had auto changed and I was two hours behind. Oops!

Lisa

why won't they SLEEP??????? gah! We had just gotten the baby to sleep to 6am. which is now 5am. Again. Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Lisa

PS. OMG! The Walking Dead freaked the crap out of me. I had nightmares as well... totally spoilery nightmares. OMG!

Arnebya

Every year I feel robbed. And then people keep saying daylight savingS instead of saving WHICH IS CORRECT and I just get all say it again and watch me stab you in the throat. Robbed.

I woke up and no one else was awake. I laid there. And then I got up. And no one else did. And then I sat down and stared out the window and waited. And still, they slept. So I said you know what, every other day they're all up in my face bright and early, let's see how they like it. Took the toy horn and woke the whole damn house up. Because I remember twisted tights and the top half of my underwear not being covered by the tights because they were down so far. I remember. Also, son, be a dentist.

Minnie

'(The "good ones" were the sugar-coated pretzels. OBVIOUSLY.)'
You are now officially my soulmate.

-k-

Dude. My baby was just starting to have recognizable morning and noontime naps, and now they're all *early*. And requiring me to do math. I think the first one happened when we were still in bed this morning. Eff DST.

Brittany

The silver lining to Fall Back Day with children is you can trick them into going to bed an hour earlier. :)

Myriam

My daughter usually wakes up around 7:30 on the week-end, so I was expecting a 6:30 wake-up call. So when I woke at 6:45 to go to the bathroom, I did not attempt to fall back to sleep. I finally got up at 7:30, and SHE got up at 8:00 (which is like 9:00)!!! D'oh!

Hillary

1. Clearly the sugar coated pretzels were the best.

2. Last week, when our power went out due to the storm, we had JUST finished watching the Walking Dead. That made the scramble for flashlights and trying to go to sleep extra unnerving. I knew it was the hurricane and not zombies, but it was dark and there were lots of unusual noises. That totally could have been zombies! I should probably only watch that show during the day.

Caitlin

whoever came up with changing the time either didn't have small children or had forgotten that stage. Because it is THE WORST. Worse than 10 hour jet lag - at least then they have an excuse!

Kirsten

So true it fucking hurts. First year doing this with a baby - fall back day has lost all its charm and joy.

TallulahEulallie

My nasty little reprobate friends and I used to love Fall Back Day in our younger years because: Hello? An extra hour to get our drunk on. Also, the guys had an extra hour to drink, and thus were extra drunk, so we looked extra attractive to them. BONUS! (Now after a drink I need to go home and have a nap, so yeah, I use the extra hour to sleep. Pathetic, right? I know.)

Meg

YES! The sugar-coated pretzels! Oh man...

Apryl

This is only my 2 fall back day and I can say with great gusto it can bite me.

I don't handle jet lag AT ALL. Even when we lived in AZ and would travel to CA that 1 hour...it'd take me a week to get back on track. When we went to Guam and it was a gabillion hours in reverse or in foward it was hellacious.

1 hour. BITE ME!!! I keep telling the husband that in our parallel universe it's 11:32am or whatever time it is and that's the reason last night at 5:30 he and I were begging for the clock to change. See what happens on the west coast is the damn sun sets at 5pm.

BITTTTEE EMMEEEEEEHEJHAITA!!!

Deep breaths..this too shall pass...lol.

Leigh Ann

Yes on the extra hour, yes on the tights, and hell yes on the mf-ing sugar coated pretzels!

5:30. 5:30 it was over here. And again today. All those bitches bragging about an extra hour can suck it.

Sherri

How hard would it have been to give us an extra inch or two of tights so the crotch could have been at the right place? I HATED those things! Don't even get me started on the toe seams...and I still can't eat the round cookies.

christine


We were up at 4:30 this morning. I tried to nurse the one-year-old back to sleep, but he is not one to be persuaded to do anything he doesn't want to so he bit my nipple so hard that I screamed and had to wedge my finger between his teeth to pry open his jaw. I think the only reason I didn't lose a nipple was that my scream made him squeal with laughter like a miniature psychopath.

Normally my husband would have entertained the kids during the pre-dawn hours because he likes mornings, but he needs to shower and leave for work before 6 am. He is (ahem!) a dentist, and he works his ass off every day. Arnebya, do not let your son (nor your daughter!) be a dentist unless you HATE your kids. Seriously -- worst profession ever.

Katie

With a 2 month old this year, Fall Back day sure lost its appeal. He was quite the little pickle all day as I tried to do the math for feedings, bedtime, etc. regarding what time it REALLY is (but, wait, when can I stop going on the old time?)

Call Me Jo

Oh man, do I feel you! I'd vote for Mitt Romney if he promised to do away with the time change.*

*That's a blatant lie. Also, my apologies for politically-related humor.

Stacy

I have always hated and continue to hate butter cookies. All of them.
And waking up early. And tights and church.

robin

so right about tiiiiiiiiights

flybigd

So awesome--the google ad on my screen is for a Bible Church. Har har!

RB

Hahahahahaha, this post made my day!

Amy v

Yep. And for us fall back day came at the end of a very disruptive week-long trip, so we were up at 4:30 on Sunday. And today. Urgh. And don't get me started on tights.

sues

Ha...I freakin' love you! Tights are so wrong and stockings as an adult tend to do the same thing....must be invented by men as they like some crotch wiggle room:-)

Lynda M O

Time changes suck, tights are the worst when you have BIG feet and LONG logs. The bitches Never Ever fit right. Still don't; stupid things. Hate them, traded them in for leggings which I wear every day. every where. under every thing. I just ordered eight more pair cuz you never know when MAll WArt will stop dealing with China.

Sara

This was my first fall back day with a baby, and I didn't even get a fighting chance as my dog decided to barge into my son's room and wake him up even earlier than usual...and then to see the clock an hour earlier than that was NOT COOL, DOG.

Judy

Around here (FL) tights/hose seem to be a thing of the past and now we do trouser hose. There is a God.

I have always hated DST. I could never understand the reasoning behind it and I still can't. You have X hours of sunshine a day, screwing with everyone's schedule is not going to give you more hours.

After the baby thing is over, it gets a little easier for awhile, although I will swear that I always feel the loss of that hour of sleep ALL SUMMER and don't feel rested again until we get it back, and this situation worsens with each passing year until you almost need uppers to get through the summer and then suddenly you are old and you retire and none of it matters any more and sometimes you leave your clocks unchanged all summer (like I did in my car, which led to me missing out on a Burger King ham and cheese croissant one day while I was out and about and I got confused about the time because of that clock and thought it was 11 when it was only 10) and you don't have to ever be anywhere anyway.

Judy

P.S. I have to admit that the car clock stayed on EST all summer not because I am a rebel or immune to correct times, but because I don't know how to change it. I haven't reset the clock on the microwave since my son moved to the west coast, either.

linderooni

You have captured my church memories exactly. I also remember spending the night at a friend's house the night before Spring Forward day... needless to say, we were zombies in church and her poor mom was kind of upset that neither of us were dressed that nice. 2 TIRED 2 CARE, Sleepover Mom!

Corey Feldman

I appreciated fall back day much more before I had kids.

HeyBeckyJ

I too was dragged to church during my childhood and loved setting the clocks back for the very same reason. This is my first Fall Back Day with a toddler, and it's so disappointing. Not only do I feel cheated out of an extra hour of sleep, I have to spend that extra hour trying to entertain a miniature human with the attention span shorter than a fly's.

Michelle

Did we go to the same church?(nah, I know we didn't and this shit is just pretty universal) The horrid tights! The cookies! The styrofoam cups of fruit punch! Hahahaha, thanks!

Steph

I LOVE the sugar coated pretzels!

Laura

That cookie tin just brought back memories of my childhood country house with a flickering porch light...and, also...drooling because (Minnie, Meg, Steph, Leigh Ann, Hillary and Amy)... Yes to the coarse sugar coated pretzels...yes we can.

stephanie

I hear you! Fall back was always my favorite but it's horrible with kids. They are UP earlier and then you have to try to keep them up until the regular bed time in the hopes they won't get up quite as early. On Monday, my kids were ready for the bus at 7:20 AM. A full hour earlier than needed. My 3 year old was up at 5:30 AM. We are still playing catch up.

The comments to this entry are closed.