How is everybody? Do you need a hug?
For the record, since I just now, five minutes ago, read the comments on Friday morning's post: That was posted (and titled) hours before I heard the awful, awful news from Connecticut. I mean, my God, OBVIOUSLY.
I personally had no idea what had happened until 2:30 pm, when I finally got a break from work and settled down with lunch and the Internet and Twitter and...oh. Oh. OH NONONONONO.
To be honest, my blog post (and its title) immediately became the very last thing on my mind. I seriously did not even think about it, or anything I had done that morning, in the Before Connecticut hours. In the Before Connecticut state of being, I guess.
For anyone who was hurt or offended or made uneasy by the post title (or subject matter), however, I really sincerely apologize. It should have dawned on me to change it.
I hope you can possibly understand why it didn't, though: I wanted my first grader home, I wanted the news to stop, to be wrong, to stop being WORSE every time I hit refresh on Google News. I closed the laptop on Friday afternoon and kept it closed all weekend. Time for Ezra's swim lesson, Noah's belt test, a visit with friends, a visit to see Santa, everyday happy shiny things, fighting to break through the haze of Awful, Just So Fucking Awful.
Ugh. I, I, I. Me, me, me. Stupid blog and blogging. Completely useless at times like this.
I put Noah on the bus this morning. He has no idea what happened, no idea that I wanted so badly to climb onboard with him, armed with...I don't know. Invincible mama bear body armor. There's a police officer stationed outside his school today, which he'll might ask about so I should try to read something about talking to young children about Connecticut, in between all the other articles arguing about what we should really be talking about. Guns, mental illness, metal detectors, the shooter, the victims, too soon, too late, etc.
And oh, those little faces. Those beautiful little faces. I still can't even believe. I still can't even imagine.
Anyway, again, I'm really sorry about that stupid post title. It was Before. I'm not doing such a great job with the After.