Spring Break, Parental Abandonment Style
This Hobbit Be Mobbin'

What Happens In Vegas...

...is all fun and games until someone falls off her heels and tears a ligament in her foot. I know that's not actually how the slogan goes but YOU GET MY POINT.

It's not a particularly exciting installment in the (ongoing, endless) saga of Times Amy Fell Down, chapter four thousand and twelve. We were on our way to dinner and I tripped. I didn't even trip ON anything, like faux quainty cobblestone or a pile of money. There were no stairs. We were walking on nice, even carpet. I was completely sober. I simply cannot manage to walk and talk at the same time anymore, and down I randomly went, twisting my ankle all to bloody hell and taking my dainty wounded pride with it.

The restaurant hostess was kind enough to vacuum seal some ice in what appeared to be a sous vide bag and I balanced that on my foot during dinner, because nothing was going to stand in my way of stuffing my damn foodhole.

Screen Shot 2013-03-28 at 10.48.22 AM

And thus fulfills my life-long dream of meeting Joël Robuchon, winner of ALL TEH MICHELIN STARS, while gritting my teeth in pain because my ice pack has fallen off. Bonus points for being barefoot at the time. 

After dinner, my foot had swollen up to an alarming size and was many shades of delicious purply bruise. I couldn't walk on it at all, though I did try because EMBARRASSING. Jason helped me hobble a few feet before security noticed the barefoot girl quietly and involuntarily sobbing and intervened. They gave me a wheelchair and I promised them that I would not sue them, I swear, the fall was the result of my own legendary dumbassity and nothing more. I sat at a kitty-cat themed slot machine and signed an incident report and then tried to tell jokes to my security escort/wheelchair pusher the whole way back our room for some reason. Like I needed him to think I was cool, because suuuuure.

Later, after elevating and icing my foot failed to bring down the swelling or the pain, I spent five hours at a Las Vegas emergency room and that was...well, that was pretty sobering and not at all funny. It was understaffed and overcrowded and the man next to me spent two hours rocking back and forth, picking at face scabs and trying to convince the nurse practioner that he "lost" the pain medicines he'd just been given at a different hospital. He did not seem to be alone in this particular complaint.

(Around hour four of our wait a nurse offered me an pain pill and I accepted it, but I tried not to seem too jazzed about it.)

The whole experience gets a zero stars, would not recommend. We got back to our hotel around 4:30 a.m., so I'm now at a level of jet lag/time zone confusion that I never thought was possible. I can see through space and time and clocks no longer exist. It's pretty trippy. Also maybe I need a nap. 

But hey! I did not break my foot, just like all the other times I did not break my foot. I tore a ligament, which is the dramatic way to say "it's just a really bad sprain." I get to spend the rest of my vacation on crutches and an air cast, doing...I don't know. Figuring out how to not walk all that much. Sitting down whenever possible. Finding restaurants that are not buffets.

Wild and crazy times in Vegas, man. Wild and crazzzzy times. 



I gave up wearing high heels when I was about your age (hint, hint.....)


I gave up wearing high heels when I was about your age (hint, hint.....)


Oucccchhhhhh. Oh, Amy, that's awful. Heal up, little ligament, heal up fast. At least it wasn't a ligament in your foodhole, I suppose.

Lynda M O

Vegas is my least favorite city; so much money, so few scruples.


You may be in pain in that picture, but your eye makeup looks FIERCE.


FWIW - you really look great...if you don't look down at your UUUUUgly-assed foot.

Clumsy McGimpy

About 4 years ago I did something very similar. I went out to get cat food, stepped in an invisible hole in my yard, and fell face down in my front yard.Just call me Grace! just a word of advice because I ended up with a major bum ankle, make sure to see an orthopedic specialist when the swelling starts to go down. The doctors told me the same thing they told you but 6 weeks later when The swelling has receded some it turned out I had also broken my ankle. I ended up spending almost 10 weeks in the air cast walking boot. Not exactly how one wants to spend the summer in the Deep South.

Mom in Two Cultures

Didn't they tell you in parent education class? Once you have small children, you never have to wear heels again. Of course, I figured this out the hard way and face planted (off of clogs, no less) when I was 6 months pregnant with my first.


Oh, you poor dear! Sorry about that ankle. Take care of yourself and let the men in your house wait on you. You've earned it.

I broke my shoulder almost three years ago. Tripped over an air molecule, fell face down onto perfectly smooth carpeting. It's better now, thank goodness.


Don't forget to milk it for all you can to do nothing when you get back home... In the mean time, think about all the stuff that you can do lying down ;-)

I'm sorry, and get well soon!


I spent some time in Las Vegas with a broken foot supposedly on crutches (uh, yeah, no). The key is that the big hotels will let you rent wheelchairs (for a refundable deposit), which then opens up all sorts of doors to the front of the buffet line.

I mean, it sucked. But the buffet thing was pretty cool.

Heal fast!


DAMN IT!!! why does that stuff happen when you get a grown up vacation and not the day before you're supposed to host a field trip to Chuck E Cheese's????

Suzy Q

Oh, girl.


I did almost the exact same thing while at a casino in Atlantic City, except I slipped off the side of the jetted tub in the middle of the room. What was supposed to be a romantic weekend away ended up with a trip to the ACY Medical Center and a broken ankle. I too promised the casino I wouldn't sue. Wasn't their fault I was an idiot :)


Dude, that sucks. I too tripped over my own damn feet once - but I broke my leg. After the 1,000,000th question from curious strangers, I started making up stories about how it had happened. 'Rock climbing' & 'skydiving' are easy answers & made me sound way more interesting than I ever will be in reality.


Oh, poor Amy. What crappy timing! I have fallen in the middle of the street for no good reason TWICE in the last MONTH and I don't even have any pregnancies or children to blame. But I also didn't seriously hurt anything except for my pride, so I will be telling this story to my husband tonight with "see, it could be worse, stop making fun of me" subtext!


Also go see shows and depend sweet orchestra level, handicap accessible seats. In this order I recommend:

La Reve
Zumanity (sounds thrilling, but eh)
Love (music sounds great, but show is eh)


I have two words for you: physical therapy. I tore a ligament in my ankle six years ago after an unfortunate incident with a bee hive. I have since sprained the same ankle too many times to count...twice in the past year falling off of evil curbs...in public, and both times wearing a skirt. Take care of yourself, and get some good shoes!


If it's any consolation, I tripped on a curb and broke my foot back in January. So yeah I understand the not being able to walk issue. Hope you heal up quick and enjoy the rest of your vacation

jill (mrschaos)

I am wincing in pain for you, OMG. Ouch. And also, OUCH. I'm so, so sorry.


Sorry about your foot. But how was the food?? Which of his restaurants did you eat at? We have reservations for A'telier in May and I can't wait.


Ouch! Yet another reason I shun high heels.


The hotel will loan you a wheelchair. Suck up the pride and ride around like a queen. Maybe you should even wear a tiara.

Seriously-- I can't recommend the wheelchair more.


Are you kidding? Could this really have happened to anybody else? Let me answer - no. I hope you're able to stumble through the last bit of your trip. You should probably treat yourself to a Cirque show...don't ya think?


wow. oh no!
that doesn't sound fun or vegas-y at all! i'm terribly sorry.

you know, i did that once. nov 1st actually. i fell while running. fell on air. just like you.
but instead of busting my foot? i busted my front tooth in half. cracked another and chipped another.
those are good times (that i still feel---- even a root canal later!)

it was great fodder for The Mr. to joke about what kind of trailer i should buy or job i should get.
good times.

i hope you heal soon.
and may you not for the rest of your life have a numb feeling that hurts when you walk on it a certain way (like i have when i bite into anything.)


It's not the fanciest restaurant around, but if you want some really good pizza, go to Metro Pizza in Henderson. It's amazing.


hope it's better soon. if it makes you feel any better, i did something similar this weekend. (only no high heels were involved, just running shoes, a trail, and my own clumsiness). Icing it now, as I type!


There is a "secret" pizza place in the Cosmopolitan that has AMAZING pizza if you can find it.

Lisa Newlin

I'm most saddened to tell you that this has happened to me more than once. When I was on vacation in Mexico 10 years ago (that rhymed), I broke my foot and my ankle stepping off a bus at 8:00 a.m. Hello, lame!

I ended up having to come back and have surgery and it was horrible. I still have the pins in my ankle.

Then, a few years ago, I decided to rock my look out with some cute wedges. They were adorable, but I can't wear them anymore because my foot slipped off of them, I fell in the middle of the crosswalk downtown, and tore some ligaments in my foot as well.

P.T. helped, but it didn't help my pride. I haven't worn those shoes since. :-)


Hobble on over to Battista's Hole In The Wall. Best Italian food in Vegas and it ISN'T a buffet! (Nor is it in a casino!) Sorry about your foot but you look fabulous!


that SUUUUUCKS. Sorry you had such a bad trip. Rim shot! Pun intended!
Seriously though. Get well soon.


I once broke my foot by falling down mid-walk on an open laminate floor. Just PLUNK.

Happens to the best of us.


so sorry! And you are in the worst city to try to "not walk" in. All you do there is walk and what looks like a block is 50 blocks! Get better soon!


On the upside- you look stunning, just really, come into my own, beautiful woman. Bonus points for the bearded partner- he looks soooo good in a beard. Eye makeup tutorial coming soon??


Oh, man. This sucks! Vegas is a city that is really best enjoyed when you are ambulatory. I say get a rent-a-Scooter and don't look back. I have arthritis in my feet since forever, so I don't even own heels. I don't fall much, but I don't look good either.


I just did this last week! Am now in an air cast walking boot that I get to wear for a month, and then physical therapy. It is going to look pretty awesome when I wear it to a wedding in New York in a few weeks. Sigh. Grey matching shoe, perhaps? Sorry to hear about this!


That suuuucks! It also is something that would totally happen to me. After checking into a hotel in Mexico, I immediately donned my swimsuit and headed out to the pool. I grabbed a towel, headed toward a lounge chair and...slipped on the wet tile floor and came crashing down on my wrist. Good times. Also, the morning I'm leaving for London, I stumble to the bathroom to pee, accidentally whack into a dresser and break two toes. #cursed


Ouch, sorry about your ankle! I once managed to break my wrist roller skating...I say skating, but really I was standing still talking to my brother, and just fell. As far as I know he has never revealed my utter clumsiness on that day.

My best friend's sister runs a spa parlor in Vegas...perhaps you need a treat? It's called Feetish Spa (http://feetishspa.com/) and is in the Fremont East District of downtown.


I hope I'm laughing WITH you...oh the memorrriesss


Sorry about your foot, It happens to me every other year and I am just walking.. noting exotic. I have the feeling to make up cool stories for my air boot. BUUUUUT you meet Joel Robuchon!!! I have to look twice.... So cool!!! Hope you heal soon.


Sorry about your foot, It happens to me every other year and I am just walking.. noting exotic. I have the feeling to make up cool stories for my air boot. BUUUUUT you meet Joel Robuchon!!! I have to look twice.... So cool!!! Hope you heal soon.


Sorry about your foot, It happens to me every other year and I am just walking.. noting exotic. I have the feeling to make up cool stories for my air boot. BUUUUUT you meet Joel Robuchon!!! I have to look twice.... So cool!!! Hope you heal soon.


Sorry about your foot, It happens to me every other year and I am just walking.. noting exotic. I have the feeling to make up cool stories for my air boot. BUUUUUT you meet Joel Robuchon!!! I have to look twice.... So cool!!! Hope you heal soon.


Sorry about your foot, It happens to me every other year and I am just walking.. noting exotic. I have the feeling to make up cool stories for my air boot. BUUUUUT you meet Joel Robuchon!!! I have to look twice.... So cool!!! Hope you heal soon.


Have you ever heard of TypoBounty.com? It’s a game like website that pays cash reward for errors found on the internet. Here is a link to a video explaining the website. http://youtu.be/zRfdXiAZFIM They also have a million dollar contest called the $1,000,000 Team Leader Challenge Contest. Here is a link to the press release.



So...I managed to trip over my own feet in the bathroom in the middle of the night and broke my ankle along with my foot in such a spectacular manner that I required surgery. Right before Christmas on year (of course). My daughter likes to say that I fell off the toilet, which is patently NOT true. But I'm not sure the truth is any better.

I confess that I need to know that other people do these things, so thank you.

Ted Byron


Shannon @nwaMotherlode

This makes me cringe for you on so many levels. The pain, yes. But the pain of it happening on a grown-up vacation? That hurts more, I think... Hope it feels better soon :(


Ow! I feel your pain. I fell over absolutely nothing at all a few years ago, broke my ankle in 4 places including dislocating it in front of all my co-workers. The ambulance took me to the hospital, where they had a bunch of med students watch the surgery in a coliseum-like surgery room (it was like House). All because of High Heels, which my girlfriend threw out in the Emergency Room. I haven't been allowed in them since (not that I could with all the hardware in my leg. Trust me, they aren't worth it. Enjoy your front of buffet priveleges, and hope you feel better!


Sorry your injury put a damper on your adult getaway, but glad you're basically ok.

Also, thank you for indulging my food nerd-ness. Before even reading the first sentence, I saw your photo and was like, "OMG, is that Joel Robuchon???" Too freaking cool!


The torn ligament is not just a really bad sprain, and it's not something to mess around with. It can take a GodAwful amount of time for those stupid things to heal, and really, is worse than breaking. And feet are worse than any part of the body, since we're always on them. Keep the cast on, do the PT religiously, and you might want to go through your closet and start mourning the cute platform heels and wedges. After tearing two ligaments in multiple places a couple years ago, I have not had to go the way of granny shoes yet, but I really can't wear any heel over 2 inches, and that high only if I'm going to be sitting most of the time. :(


This summer I broke my elbow walking in my driveway. And ended up having a torn ligament and needed surgery to have a pin put in my elbow. It was the most embarrassing injury ever.
I totally feel your pain, it sucks being clumsy.

The comments to this entry are closed.