What Happens In Vegas...
Sounds About Right

This Hobbit Be Mobbin'

In spite of...all that happening, I really had a terrifically wonderful time in Vegas. Jason and I successfully and repeatedly committed a good six out of the seven deadly sins — save for wrath, I think. Never really felt too wrath-y, except for that one moment where I thought I overheard a pack of drunk guys calling me a "hobbit" on my crutches and I was all, "EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

And then they were all, "What? Nah! We said you were "mobbin' it" on those crutches cuz you were going so fast and shit."

And then I was all, "Oh, okay, sorry. It's just been kind of a long day."

And then they walked away and I was all, "Wait. Is "mobbin' it" even a thing? I am not sure that's a real thing."

Anyway, I still do not know if "mobbin' it" is or is not, in fact, a thing you can do on crutches, but I am entirely too busy to look it up on Urban Dictionary because of the whole post-vacation home suitcases children email work KABLOOEYNESS. (Which you KNOW is actually a thing.) 

I am mostly off the crutches now and can walk pretty well with just my ankle brace, Advil and frequent lie-downs with an ice pack. (Of course, my post-vacation exercise plans are still pretty limited to vigorous ankle rotations and this weird exercise where you trace an invisible alphabet with your toe. I'm getting pretty good at that one, though I still have to stop and sing the song at least once when I lose track of what comes after K.)

I would like to officially express my completely non-snarky, sincere gratitude to Southwest Airlines and the TSA folk at the Las Vegas airport for being incredibly kind and accommodating to me and Jason on Saturday, as I was D-R-E-A-D-I-N-G the thought of trying to navigate an airport on crutches, with a ton of luggage (because SHOES), and then a cross-country flight and another airport and gaaaahmoreAdvilplease. Instead, the whole experience was so darn nice and pleasant that I would actually highly recommend injuring yourself or one of your travel companions prior to your next flight. It makes air travel a breeze! Like in the olden days when you got free champagne, only with free wheelchairs and medical preboarding. 

And finally, in lieu of vacation photos (which I mostly forgot to take), here are some progress photos of my foot. I will put them after a jump-cut because they are (SPOILER ALERT) gross, which I guess SHOULD be a clue that maybe I shouldn't post them at all. Much like my repeated and dramatic falls SHOULD be a clue that maybe I shouldn't wear platform heels anymore. Hmm.

Okay, clearly I have a lot of life choices to go think about for awhile. I'm glad we had this talk. Click the link below to look at pictures of my foot. (BECAUSE NEVER! AND ALWAYS! I REFUSE TO GROW AS A PERSON!) I'll post some cute kid photos tomorrow as penance. 

Day Two, aka The Day It Occurred To Me To Document the Injury Because Why Not:

IMG_1078 IMG_1077

(I wore a little slipper-sock under my brace [which only covers my ankle and just under my heel] because my foot was much too swollen for regular socks or shoes. That's where that near-perfect bruise line came from. At one point I tried a pair of those foldable slipper-shoes but within an hour the entire top of my foot was swelling up and over the edge like a damn loaf of bread and I had to take it off.)


Day Three, aka The Day I Done Rode on a Plane:



Day Four, aka Yesterday:


(Gotta love how I coordinated the blanket to my bruises. It's the little details that truly make a home.)

Day Five, aka Today:



The swelling is down considerably and my skin is just the PRETTIEST shade of puke-yellow-green. And I think my foot-injury photo lighting and composition skills are also improving, don't you think? I'll keep working on them. Maybe include a bowl of fruit or a small child dressed like a 17th-century peasant in the background next time. 


Dr. Maureen

Wow, your foot looks so terrible and painful the photos look faked. Yikes.


Yikes! Glad it's getting better!


Oooooh! Your foot is the same pretty shade of green that my jaw and neck was after my wisdom teeth were removed!


Oh, what an interesting shade of green. Why do bruises get so hideous as they heal? So weird, and gross.
Did you notice that the purse shoes are available to Subscribe & Save? Who subscribes to purse shoes? Who goes out in shoes they can't walk in so often that they need Amazon to automatically send them purse shoes every month?
Sorry, I had to get that out.

Happy Healing :)



You were inDEED mobbin' it, yo.


Glad you are recovering. I am now drinking a large glass of wine in an effort to unsee that. Yoiks.


Ouch ouch ouch! I think I need to ice my foot just from looking at these pics.

Rachel N.

Pretty! Our feet could be twins. 1 week before Christmas I missed a step in the dark at my neighbor's house, and ended up in the ER at midnight with a torn ligament. I am STILL in Physical Therapy to get the strength back in my foot/ankle/muscles. Hope your recovery is MUCH quicker.


Hope your foot feels better- I just became a huge fan of your blog, sorry to hear about your foot, I can relate, I am accident prone myself.....if it makes you feel better, at least it seems like you have yet to sit on a fillet knife.


It is incredible to think that this injury is even more painful than it is gross. Yikes. Sorry it happened; glad you're healing.

Also, I want someone to do a scientific study of why certain people are more accident-prone than others, because damn.


My face. It is balled up at the unsightly, ghastliness that is your foot and yet CANNOT LOOK AWAY.

Jennifer B

The foot...does not even look like a foot, it is so swollen. Ouchie. (It does look a million times better on Day 5!)


Your foot looks very similar to my own last year at this time. Fell down some stairs, tore everything important in my ankle & had to have surgery to repair the ligament damage. Then a cast for 6 weeks...oh the fun. I gave up high heels and stairs after that. Hope you are back to 100% ASAP!

Jenn D

Holy shit!*

*edited version


Dear God in Heaven. CANNOT UNSEE.


I should make you feel even worse by saying that I am a medical librarian and have looked at lots of NASTY pics in the textbooks but still, damn.


OMG! That is an epic bruise! You poor thing! I'm glad it's improving.


Did you fall in/off platforms? Aren't they flat on the bottom? How's your stiletto wearing abilities?
You are an excellent sprainer. Hope you feel better soon!


Just change up the foot for hand....that was my weekend. On Saturday I was hauling a box out of my son's front door (new furniture for them...yay!) and someone called to me and I turned around and smashed my fingers into the doorframe, pushing them all backwards. Pretty bruising and stiffness happened then. Nothing broken, just jammed pretty hard. Barely able to type this today. Hand is almost as colorful as your foot!!


I'll be your intern - I went to Urban Dictionary - because I had to. You were indeed going "insanely" fast. Hope you heal up soon.


Day 5 looks like ZOMBIE FOOT!!! You and your zombie foot be mobbin' it! ;-)


If it weren't for the incredibly detailed description of how this occurred - and - the pictures of your foot in its seriously swollen state, you could almost convince me that you had a simple run-in with Easter egg dye.

Suzy Q

Wowza! Those are indeed some impressive bruises.



Verb. When a large group of people quickly walks, runs, or drives somewhere.

1st person "We mobbed up on that skate park like fly on poop man!"

Third person "Yo, man, i just saw a gang mobbin' over to the park."

Lynn Brooks

Yikes that looks awful! Glad you were able to eek out a little fun in spite of your injury.
And OMG while reading about tracing the alphabet with your toe I naturally started doing it and OUCH it caused a major cramp in my arch! Guess I need to exercise my toes more?? Sending you speedy healing vibes, love your blog!


Sweet merciful crap, that looks awful, even if it IS getting better. OW OW OW.


Not sure the sounds I just made can be typed out but that is simultaneously yucky and awesome! When my husband hurt his ankle pretty badly I remember the fluid settling at the bottom of his foot being the worst part. Feel better soon!


Do you have the compulsion to poke the bruise constantly in the dark colours? I bruise much like you do and I can never help myself.


Mobbin' it...they're havin' you girl! It looks like you're really on the mend, so I'm hopeful that you are soon back into your normal footwear.


Holy crap. That's bad.


Now I'm trying to find ways to use 'totes mobbin' it' in conversation. This will be that much harder because I don't move very fast.


I found day 5 the most impressive. Wow, I didn't know those could be people colors.

Cassandra in TX

Oh, girl! I feel your pain. I had a similar injury (and similar swelling and similar Freaky Colors You Did Not Know The Human Body was Capable of Producing) about six years ago. Not fun at all. :( At least you have crutches to help you get around. Rest up and recuperate!


I wonder if something is really broken in there Amy! It's hard to believe just a tendon tear/sprain could look that bruisey.


Don't know about mobbin but that definitely looks a bit hobbit :)


Mmmmm, excellent bruise porn.

Robyn G

I had a blue/green left foot once too! Mine came from a high heel stomping down on my foot in a crowded bar. The impact site swolt-up (technical term) to the size golf ball. Nothing was broken, but it was more painful that when my foot actually was broken years before.

Baddest Mother Ever

The Walking Dead!! (but only on the left side)


Oh my gah... you poor thing! :(


Jesus, Amy!


Um, holy crap, woman. The coloring is really impressive.

Also, I think you should do a post dedicated to the pairs of shoes you've fallen in. ;)


Good God, that's gruesome looking! You get extra fashion points for the sparkly turquoise nail polish and the perfect pedicure, though.


dear sweet baby jesus. your foot makes my soul weep. glad the tsa wasn't a buncha jerks...


I will now use the phrase, "mobbin' it" around this hostile group of teenagers and they will most certainly allow me to assimilate.


OWOWOWOWOW. Much empathy from this quarter. I am the world champion klutz around here. I've just learned to live with it....


Sweet Jesus... that looks awful!


Oooo... The pain... and the colors... it's as if you got a really ironic gorgeously colored tattoo of a torn ligament. Or what it would look like.

Also, I was totally nodding with the "awesome air travel while injured" experience- People were amazingly sympathetic and helpful to my husband and I when we flew to Ireland for our honeymoon and I had a broken foot.

Breaking your foot at your wedding= Totally Hobbit'n.

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