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Ultimate Master Baby Crib Check List

WHEN THEY ARE NEWBORNS

1) Crib mattress

2) Persistent feeling of guilt for buying the $40 crib mattress instead of the top-of-the-line $500 organic ulta duo core certified allergen-free ECOGREENFOAM™ crib mattress with internal SIDS alert and solid platinum stitching.

3) Waterproof pad

4) Tight-fitting, organic cotton crib sheet

5) Tight-fitting, organic cotton swaddling blanket

6) No toys

7) No loose blankets

8) LOTS OF VERY LOUD & CONTRADICTORY OPINIONS ABOUT CRIB BUMPERS

9) Baby monitor with motion sensor mat, high-definition video and ambient temperature display

10) Baby who totally won't sleep in the crib anyway, not even for five minutes, hooray!

WHEN THEY ARE TODDLERS:

IMG_1725

1) Yup.

Comments

Hi, I'm Natalie.

I'm pretty sure you're also supposed to throw a handful of grapes in with the toddler.

Emily

LOL - that's pretty much what my kids crib looked like since she was 3 mo old... And just this afternoon I had to take out 3 sofa pillows and a large rubber ball (the kind you see in those big bins at Walmart) before I could put her in.

joaaanna

My 21 month old won't nap in his crib. EVER. My fault, totally. HTG tried to cry it out and FORCE him to nap in there today. He crawled out. So. We are back to letting him lie with mama and then I sneak out.

Carly

Hahaha that's EXACTLY what my almost-two-year-old's crib looks like. I'm constantly removing piles of toys only to have her demand them back before she'll go to bed.

Suzy Q

Ha!

whitney petch

Ok, I want to know. What are YOUR opinions about the crib bumpers?

JenVegas

So TRUE! My 2.5yo sleeps with his head UNDER his stuffed dog. Which, of course, means we can't go anywhere without the damn thing. Plus the glowing, wake-up owl, the Pluto, the bear grandma made him and also the little dog wearing rabbit ears, a couple of airplanes and his duck. The End. This is why we never go anywhere.

Hillary

I obsessed over all that crib stuff. For untold hours. My son has yet to spend one night in it and maybe napped in it twice. At least I didn't shell out for the organic crib mattress.

Jenn

And I guarantee if you remove any one of those things when he's not looking, you will get called out almost immediately.

autumn

If mommas to be are reading this, the stupid organic sheets shrink (lengthwise only. . . GAH!!!) and the generic baby mega store ones, well don't. But the spaghetti and blueberry puke stains came out better from the organic ones, so it's a toss up

Cheryl S.

He's
1. In his Crib
2. Asleep.

TOTAL WIN.

Jean

At least he is in his crib at 2. By 18 months we had to put my gigantic (read: extremely tall) child into a bed because he constantly got his legs and arms caught in the crib and would wake up. The first night in the bed he slept for like 11 hours.

Karen

Yeah, that is about right.
Do your boys insist on lifting their little bro out of his crib?

Marina

haha :D a good check list! the bed just looks like my son. ;)

Kate

The song that pops into my head upon seeing this picture: Bette Midler singing "You've Got to Have Friends"

Barb

Sneak some stuff out of there and make room for the boy! Hahahaha

jelourai

So, so true. It's hard to find my kid under all the squishy things.

Life of a Doctor's Wife

As someone who just bought the crib mattress (and fretted about it not being the super organic one that is nearly $300 ACK), this really hits home.

Love the picture. What a cutie!

M

Seriously he is even in the crib? When I caught my daughter climbing over the end (not side) of the crib at 11 months I set up her bed on the floor...she was a monkey that was going to get hurt. 24 years later she's a rock climber! Could never contain that kid.

Tracy

I still have no idea what to do about the bumper, but I guess it does not matter. The baby never really slept in the crib until we hit the toddler stage. Now it is full of junk and we snooze away. It would have been nice to know all this when I was pregnant.

Allison

Seriously, how do you keep them in a crib that long? My precious little angel beast was able to climb over before she could walk. A mattress on the floor here, with kitty, Abby Cadabby, and glow seahorse.

amymvr

I have a four month old who is ONLY sleeping with me, (even naps) and while I know people choose to do that, and it's fine, I did not plan it, and once I am done teaching in June, we are going to have to work on it, because INEED SOME SPACE HONEY! I can't WAIT until she is a toddler in her crib, she can have whatever she wants in there. Swimming pool. Ponies. Whatever. Just sleep in the crib.

Melanie

Yep indeed! That looks like my almost two year old's bed... and my five year old's bed... and my seven year old's bed.

Amalah

Re: bumpers. I swear to dog the "prevailing advice" about bumpers changed so many damn times during my child-bearing years that I stopped giving a shit a long time ago. I used the bumpers. (GASSSSP.) They kept little arms and feet from getting stuck in the slats. I didn't really worry about the early weeks/airflow issue because my newborns all slept with me (GASSSSSSP GASP GASP) and not in the crib during that period. But once they were in the crib and rolling around and being all flaily? I liked having the bumpers to protect them from getting stuck or whacking their heads too hard.

I removed the bumpers as soon as they started pulling up to a stand so they couldn't use them as a step to get up and over the crib rail.

As for how Ike still hasn't figured out how to climb out of the crib? NO IDEA. Fingers crossed that I can keep him in it for a little bit longer because he is a total Destructor otherwise who can NOT be trusted.

(Which means he'll climb out of the crib TONIGHT. Damn you, Internet!)

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