Baby's First Swag Bag
Productivity Central

Dinner in Real Life, v.2

So it's pretty clear to me that if I want to keep going with the Dinner in Real Life-type posts (in which I give y'all a THRILLING 1,000+ WORD RUNDOWN on what we fucking ate for dinner, because you care and you care deeply) I really need to remember to take some goddamn photos before all the food disappears into our face holes. 

Photographing the recipes for blogging usually occurs to me the day after, while I'm reheating the leftovers in the microwave, and I am sorry, but making leftovers look like anything other than a choppy mess of brownish things is way beyond my modest skills. Look at this two-day old pasta! It is vaguely reminiscent of the idea of al dente! Bon appetit!

Or I decide to document the preparation steps and...well, this happens:

Remember the mini chicken and broccoli pot pies? I make those about once a week, because they are easy and the kids love them and FINE, I love them because it sort of feels like I'm eating Hostess pies for dinner. 

HOWEVER:

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No, I am not rolling out the world's biggest quadruple batch there; that's what happens when I plunge face first into a recipe while forgetting that I broke our rolling pin. 

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Thank goodness for Ezra's fully-stocked play kitchen, is all I'm saying. 

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A promo still from my upcoming show Cooking With Hobbits.

But I guess that IS real life. Around here, anyway, in a household managed by an idiot. It took forever to roll out the pie crust (especially since Jason kept coming into the kitchen to laugh at me and I didn't even have anything to wave menacing at him other than a teeny tiny baby rolling pin), but dinner and the day was saved, in the end.

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(Pay no attention to that one that's all borked up. It was either patch the hole with random end-y bits or reroll the dough and bitch, please.)

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(Mini pot pies filled, topped and blurrily headed to the oven because I forgot to stand still for a second while I took the picture. I GET IT. FOOD BLOGGING IS NOT MY FORTE.)

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Yay! Nothing exploded and nobody died.

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Though absolutely zero pies survived the next 45 minutes. 

So like, what's for dinner, man?

Comments

michele

How does one break a rolling pin? Try a tapered French rolling pin.

Starbuck

That rolling pin cracked me up!! I was thinking you were making a giant batch. Now I am on a mission to find such a recipe to make.

Kim in Columbus

I feel like such a rolling pin whore reading this...I have 7. Granted, I have antique ones from my family and I'm a bit of a baker, but maybe I should send one to you.

Courtney

A wine bottle will do in a pinch.

Kari Weber

1) do you use refrigerated pie crust from the store? Or do you make your own?
2) is that a mini-muffin pan?
3) I snort-laughed my coffee out at the mini-rolling pin... Because I have had to do that!!

Lisa

LOL! Love it. I have GOT to try this recipe - with a full sized rolling pin!

Cara

The cooking with hobbits bit is seriously hilarious. You should start a link on your website of one-liners.

Lora

Next time use a wine bottle (or beer bottle)...works great!

Anne

I love that like ten minutes in two people have already suggested using a wine bottle next time. Your audience knows you!
Do those pies reheat in any way that is not gross? Like on a rack on a cookie sheet, maybe? My proplem with pastry like that as a main dish is that I require leftovers due to my schedule. There is no way I can cook every day. Hmm.

Katie

Those look amazing and I bet my kids would adore them. Please share the recipe or where to find it!

KimC

um, I don't own a rolling pin. I use a smooth glass, lol. It works well :)

Roberta

Yep, a wine bottle works well as a rolling pin. I am certain y'all have one of those around. And I SO want you to write Cooking With Hobbits! Because, second breakfast!

shane

I LOVE your cooking posts. MOAR PLZ!

Mindy

I'm confused. I went back and printed the recipe for the mini pies from foodnetwork.com, and the pictures and directions definitely show 12 mini muffins (and by mini, I mean 1 1/2 inch across the top). Your pictures show normal cupcake size. Did you modify the recipe? I don't see how you have enough filling or big enough dough circles if you are following the same recipe.

Melissa@Mama Never Sleeps

Yep, for years I didn't have a rolling pin and I STILL forget I have one at all. A smooth glass or a wine or beer bottle works just fine. My mom didn't even have a rolling pin, I just assumed everyone used their hooch bottles for making pie.

Sarah

Why have I never made pies in my muffin tray before? There will be muffin pies for dinner one night this week at our house.

Rin

Ha! I looked at the first picture and went, "Hey, that looks like a kid pin or an EZ Bake one or something!"

>.> I like my miniature stuff.

Also, I must investigate doing pies this way.

Tiffany

I love your cooking posts! While we are at it, could you tell us a few of your favorite cookbooks? Pretty pretty please??

Mindy

So mystery (of mini muffin vs regular muffin) solved! I just made these using a mini muffin tin, and had a good amount of filling left over. Pretty sure I could have made 12 regular size muffin/pies.

Also, Amy, could you please post your pie crust recipe? Because when you don't tell us exactly what to do, we google "easy pie crust recipe", and the recipe we get (which is highly rated, btw), though easy, is NOT pliable AT ALL! I made it work, but not sure how they are going to look once they bake (we shall see in about 10 minutes, I guess). ;-)

P

For the lazy, do we think we could make in ramekins and just do a top crust? Why not, right? Or one ginormous chick to the pot to the pie?

Lis

I laughed. I actually laughed. At the "for scale" picture.

Becca Lynn

There was a paragraph or two in there that I almost died from laughing so hard. My stomach hurts. Keep it up. Food blogging might not be your forte, but ain't no one arguing that finding the hilarity in REAL SHIT isn't. :-)

Sarah

I would totally watch Cooking with Hobbits! Please put together a spec script. And I say that as someone who doesn't even really like cooking shows that much AND is totally annoyed at Peter Jackson for turning a not-very-long book (namely The Hobbit) into three overly long movies.
And you continue to rock! Just in case you needed any reassurance on that point....

MariaV

The scale photo is too funny. I stick to a tortilla rolling pin like this http://www.amazon.com/Thunder-Group-Inch-Wooden-Rolling/dp/B001PZBFBM/ref=pd_sim_sbs_k_6 for rolling everything.

Emily U

all references to miniature rolling pin = hilarious.
I'm pretty sure i will be laughing at that the rest of the day.
love your dinner posts! Keep 'em coming please!

Barb

yum

Jay

True story: my family moved when I was five, and that year when my mom went to bake Christmas cookies, she couldn't find the rolling pin. It had somehow gotten lost in the move. So she made three batches of sugar cookies using my play rolling pin from my toy kitchen - and she swears the cookies were better and easier to roll out because the smaller rolling pin gave her more control. That was 27 years ago, and we still use a toy rolling pin to make Christmas cookies. It's now a cherished family tradition.

Dana

I think Cooking with Hobbits would be an awesome blog series for you. File that away for when you run low on ideas. Could include cooking with tiny implements like your rolling pin, could include dishes somewhere between snack and meal (for second breakfast etc), and could even include cooking performed by little people (hobbits or kids, eh what's the difference). Sounds way more intriguing than the deodorant wars and that apparently had some traction. :)

Susan

@Melissa, I will forever think of this recipe as "Hooch Bottle Pie". That is all.

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