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June 2013
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August 2013

Just When You Think You Are Out...

I'd estimate that about half of the questions I get over at Ye Olde Advice Smackdown these days are about sleep. Sleep and babies, that is, as in how to get them to go the fuck to it. I'm (obviously) no expert here — I've read maybe two whole books on the subject and probably not all the way through because they have hardly any zombies in them — but I guess people figure that after three babies who were all over the sleep map I MUST have done something right in order to get them all to the point... Read more →

An Annotated Guide to the Perfect Home Office

You know, I don't ask for much when it comes to a home office. I'm really just happy to have a desk. A computer. My AP Stylebook . An electrical plug is helpful, as is a chair. I mean, that's definitely gettin' a little fancy there but I think I've earned it. (I'd include things like a combination printer/scanner but mine's been flashing COMMUNICATION ERROR at me for seven months now and I've survived just fine.) In other words, I don't really expect my home office to be any great aspirational haven. I mean, it's hard to get too uppity... Read more →

The Cacophony of Brothers

"Noah hurt-ed me!" "STOPIT Ezra!" "Ikey TOOK. MY. TOY!" "Mo-o-om, make Ezra stop looking at me, okay?" "You're not NICE, Noah!" "IKE! NO!" *assorted frenzied shrieking* *and etcetera* They fight over toys, they vie for position and space. They kick each other under the table and careen around the house like out-of-control bumper cars. They want what HE has, until they get it. We have to keep track over who got out of the bath first last time, who got to sit next to the faucet, who got to choose the night's TV show, even though it doesn't really matter:... Read more →

Swim Camp By the Numbers

ER-Worthy Injuries Sustained 1 Items Lost: 1 water bottle 1 pair of goggles 2 ice packs Items Lost, Then Found: 1 lunch box 1 pair of Superman underwear 1 entire goddamn backpack, because that's what happens when everybody buys the same identical backpack that was on sale at Target Items Gained: 2 pairs of hot pink floral underwear, size 4T, probably because of identical backpacks OR SO I REALLY WOULD PREFER TO THINK Overwhelmingly Noisy Sensory Nightmares Endured: 1 end-of-camp "Swim Show" complete with songs and chanting and a million people ahmahgahd Asses Kicked: ALL OF THEM. Friends Made &... Read more →