Camper of the Century
August 16, 2013
Okay, going to type this up REAL QUICK. Am super busy. Have to get back to the important business of forgetting to pack someone's underwear.
I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier, but. Ezra. Mini Football Camp. You know, like regular Football Camp, only more wee.
And a lot more sassy.
This was his choice, OBVIOUSLY: We sat both boys down with the YMCA catalog and read off the options. Ezra chose swim camp, Superhero camp (?!), something called "Sports Festival" and finally...football.
(Noah chose swim camp twice and Lego Robotics once, which was a DISASTER that I still don't even want to talk about. Still not a fan of the structured activities, that one, even if they are literally built out of goddamn Legos. Anyway, he quit one week in and transferred to gymnastics, hated that one too and we all basically spent a week dropping him off anyway and saying nonsenscial shit like, "I don't CARE if you don't have fun but you will at least TRY to have fun." Parenting win, all around.)
Just like our experience at Build-a-Bear, Ezra got completely, over-the-moon ecstactic at the mere mention of football, EVEN THOUGH I STILL DON'T THINK HE KNOWS WHAT FOOTBALL IS. We never watch it on TV, we don't know any kids who play it, but no matter. Football appears to be in this child's (peanut-sized, small-boned) DNA. SPECIAL TEAMS, KIDDO, WOOT.
So since he was completely unfamiliar with the actual mechanics of football, he came home slightly horrified on Monday after playing it for the first time. Some other kid TOOK HIS FLAG. Like, OFF HIS BODY. Like, the NERVE.
He apparently refused to play the next day; the insult cut him just that deep.
By yesterday, however, he rebounded enough to win "Camper of the Day." Technically it's for "Listening Carefully and Just Having Fun" and "Exemplifying the YMCA's Core Values" but between you, me and the camp director, it's because Ezra is just...well, really super-duper cute and hilarious and all the counselors wanted him in their camps all summer.
Especially on the days when he arrived wearing a Superman cape, which was probably 97% of the time.
I asked Ezra if he would like to make an acceptance speech for his major award and he said yes. I transcribed it here for you, unedited.
(Please note that, despite "honesty" being one the YMCA's core values, EVERY WORD OF THE FOLLOWING IS A LIE.)
"I lost a tooth at football camp! I lost it in the toilet and then I flushed it down and it went to the ocean. I will need to fish it out at the beach with a fishing stick and then I will put it back into my mouth with toothpaste. Okay that's it. Can I have a snack?"