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September 2013

Ceiba has requested an opportunity to respond to yesterday's post. GURL, CRY ME A FREAKING WATER DISH. U HAZ NO IDEA THE WEEK I HAZD. WHEN I WAS INSIDE I WANTED OUTSIDE. ONCE I GOT OUTSIDE I NO LONGER WANTED TO BE OUTSIDE AND YET I REMAINED OUTSIDE AND IT WAS AWFUL. SAME DEAL WITH UR BEDROOM DOOR, GURL. WHY U CLOSE IT? GOOD NEWS IS I HAZ ALMOST FINISHED SCRATCHING OFF ALL THAT NEW PAINT U PUT ON IT. UR WELCOME. I REMAIN UNABLE TO STOP THE MADDENING FLOW OF MAIL NO MATTER HOW MUCH I FEROCIOUSLY BARK LIKE FEROCIOUS DESTROYER OF MAIL. YEARS, I HAVE BEEN AT THIS. SO MANY FUTILE, WASTED YEARS. AM GREY FROM STRESS OF IT ALL. TELL THE MEDIUM ONE THANX FOR BRUSHING ME WITH THE WOODCHIP, THO. WAS WEIRD BUT ALSO KINDA WORKED AND I DUG IT. THAT ONE OKAY IN MY BOOK. WE PALZ AND SHIT. BUT BACK TO MY PROBLEMZ. 1. WHEN U GUYZ MADE MEATBALLS THE SMALL ONE ONLY FED ME TWO MEATBALLS. OUTRAGE. 2. I AM REALLY TIRED OF CHEERIOS. TELL CHILDREN TO DROP SUMTHING DIFFERENT. 3. BTW STOP CALLING ME 'ROOMBA' THAT JOKE STOPPED BEING FUNNY 40 HUNDRED... Read more →


Have you ever had one of those weeks where you spent every waking moment working furiously at EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME GO GO GO...and yet when you stopped to catch your breath you realized you've actually accomplished nothing tangible whatsoever? If so, happy Thursday, fellow whirling dervishes of futility! We still have one day to turn things around. Let's all not hold our breaths. I wrote three whole things that made it to the "publish" phase this week, which I guess is okay, but divided back into the number of hours I spent in front of the computer typing type type typing it's a tad...paltry. It's been a week where 90% of the Very Important Do Not Fucking Ignore Me I Mean It emails I sent out were immediately returned with Ha Ha I'm On Vacation 'Til Next Tuesday Sucker auto-messages. A week where I managed to "do" all the laundry in the sense that I carried it downstairs and did a bunch of loads, but then couldn't find time to actually FOLD any of it so it all basically went from sitting in heaps in the hampers to sitting in heaps on the floor. A week where every time... Read more →