August 01, 2013
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you spent every waking moment working furiously at EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME GO GO GO...and yet when you stopped to catch your breath you realized you've actually accomplished nothing tangible whatsoever?
If so, happy Thursday, fellow whirling dervishes of futility! We still have one day to turn things around. Let's all not hold our breaths.
I wrote three whole things that made it to the "publish" phase this week, which I guess is okay, but divided back into the number of hours I spent in front of the computer typing type type typing it's a tad...paltry.
It's been a week where 90% of the Very Important Do Not Fucking Ignore Me I Mean It emails I sent out were immediately returned with Ha Ha I'm On Vacation 'Til Next Tuesday Sucker auto-messages.
A week where I managed to "do" all the laundry in the sense that I carried it downstairs and did a bunch of loads, but then couldn't find time to actually FOLD any of it so it all basically went from sitting in heaps in the hampers to sitting in heaps on the floor.
A week where every time I glanced at the clock I was exactly five minutes late to call X, take someone to Y, or pick someone else up from Z.
A week where the Legos have truly and finally grown sentient, built massive, sprawling settlements in various places around the house and begun reproducing at a Tribble-like pace, save yourselves, the entire first floor is theirs now.
Oh, and after making dinner ahead of time one night in the slow cooker, I completely forgot to turn the slow cooker ON the next day. Which is a mildly important step. So we had no dinner and for the life of me I can't remember what I was even doing instead that was so unbelievably important that it monopolized my brain functions like that. Hopefully it wasn't just TMZ and/or Orange is the New Black recaps. (BUT IT PROBABLY WAS. Plus Candy Crush.)
Anyway, it's both the start of a new month and (almost) the end of this week, so I vote it's time for a massive downgrade in expectations. I will chill out about work and Legos. I will keep my children alive and fed. I will remember to turn the slow cooker on. I will retrieve all underwear from the laundry piles and put it away because that's just embarrassing.
Then I will post a photo of Ike in a tiny bathrobe and call it day.