Cleanliness Is Next to Nerdiness
September 25, 2013
This post is sponsored by The Honest Company.
(So, yes. Me and Honest. Again! Sitting in a tree. All BFF-y and stuff. This is how these deals should work, I think. They pay me for posts and then I turn around and give all the money right back to them because I can't stop buying All Of The Things. Yep, that's me, straight-up winning at being a business person. And math.)
ANYWAY. I finally caved and signed up for a subscription bundle for household/bath/body stuff. Not surprisingly, we go through a fairly ridiculous amount of cleaning products in our house. I get as much done with vinegar and baking soda as I can, but sometimes you just have to bust out the big guns of AHHHH KILL IT BURN IT SANITIZE IT. It just takes a lot of work to keep my house looking as awesome as it does, where "awesome" means "one step above hovel, with bonus rogue underpants/stealth poop." We rarely get through a meal without someone spilling something, my floors are always sticky and covered in crumbs (and usually at least one of my children is as well, thus keeping hand soap dispensers full and at the ready requires constant vigilance), and Ezra is prone to multiple mid-day wardrobe changes for such reasons as "That shirt is for Tuesday" or "I'm not Superman I'm Batman" or "I cannot wear blue pants because I am not a blueberry."
And yes, he also still insists that his socks get cold and require a sweater. That's a daily double of sock laundry, y'all.
(Oh, and in further "my children are obnoxious preshus snowflakes" news, I bought some non-hippie big brand name laundry detergent while we were at the beach, only to discover that Ezra has a raging allergy to it and his skin erupted in hives just from coming in contact with his clothes. And of course I discovered this after washing every item of clothing in his suitcase. That was fun! YOU ARE KILLING ME, SMALLS.)
ANYWAY TIMES ELEVENTY. I figured the Honest bundle was a smart way to go, since I could get five discounted products (of the cleaning/laundry/bath/body variety) of my choosing every month and be safe in the knowledge that none of it would like, cause my children's persnickety skin to burst into hive-flames or peel off and melt, Indiana-Jones style. What I completely underestimated, however, was how much of a big freaking lame-o the monthly shipment would turn me into, because GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS MORNING YOU GUYS GUYS HEY LOOK GUYS.
This, right here. This is the packaged essence of being a grown-up. When you open a box and squee over a bottle of yummy-smelling floor cleaner. That you will later use on a puddle of dog pee. Yeah! Wooooo! Awesome.
My first bundle: Floor cleaner, a bamboo dish scrubber brush with a foaming base thing, conditioning mist, kids' toothpaste and fruit/vegetable spray. THIS IS WHAT A ROCKING GOOD TIME LOOKS LIKE, NOW, TO ME.
At first I handed over the toothpaste and the conditioner/detangler to the kids, but then I took back the conditioner to use on my own self once I realized how well it worked on my own post-shower rats' nest. Sorry boys, maybe I'll get you one next month. But probably not. There's some pretty hot laundry products I've got my eye on next. Mmm-hmm. You know I know how to party.
Sign up for a free trial of bundled nerd joy (plus $5.95 shipping) here. Amalah readers can enjoy 40% off their first bundle using the code AmalahBundle. Limited to U.S. and Canadian residents (one per customer), applies to first bundle order only, and expires October 6, 2013.