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August 2013
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October 2013

We attended a birthday party yesterday. The invitation said the party would include a petting zoo. I saw that and had a moment of hesitation, then thought, nah, what are the odds? Three and a half years later, that fucking petting zoo incident still burns a quiet, burny burn in my chest. I don't like thinking about it. I can't even bring myself to re-read the entry about it. Hell, just typing "petting zoo" into the search bar over there gave me a weird, shaky feeling. Sort of like the feeling I got yesterday, seeing that very same petting zoo handler pull into the driveway. I wanted to leave. No, I wanted to flee. I heard some ducks frantically flapping their wings from inside their carrier and felt exactly the same way. "Should we go? I want go. How do we just...go?" I whispered frantically to Jason, who of course... Read more →

As I mentioned in yesterday's bloggy installment of fail, Ike's preschool ends at noon. (Technically it's a pre-preschool; a toddler program for 2-year-olds. Mini Montessori, with smaller chairs and bonus potty training.) And yet by the time I arrive at 11:59, Ike is almost always the very last child to be picked up. It was the same deal last year, too. WHAT GIVES, other parents? Why you gotta be so over-achieving and stuff? I get the whole missing your baybeeee thing but dammit, the school day is three measly hours long and I paid for every last one of those 180 minutes. And Imma use every last one of those minutes. But then I get there well within the confines of my paid-for minutes and Ike's sitting there all Forever Alone In My Principles. Anyway. Stop making me look bad, is all. Let's all collectively embrace the lazy, as a... Read more →

So Ezra's (ZAH! ZAH!) first day of school went very well, provided you don't bring up the part where I forgot to go get him at the end of the day. Oh, you're gonna bring up that part? FINE. You're a bitch, though. Figure 1: Glorious light-filled angel babies who deserve better Noah's bus arrives around 3:25/3:30. But it arrives maaaybe a block away, just around the corner, over there-ish. *points over shoulder at office window just to really clear it up for the folks reading at home* Thus, "picking Noah up" usually goes something like this: 1) La la la worky work work work type type 2) OH SHIT LOOK AT THE TIME 3) Dash downstairs and out door 4) OPTIONAL BONUS ROUND: Put on shoes, be showered, vaguely presentable, etc. 5) Be at least down to the corner by the time the bus is pulling up to the... Read more →

Oh, Ezra. Never stop being so you. Today is Ezra's first day of school — he turns five next month, too late for Kindergarten Proper, so he's got one more year of Montessori pre-K to power through, like a boss. He's going all day this year, however, which means he gets to take a lunchbox filled with actual, non-plastic/Lego lunch items. Today I packed him a sandwich, raisins and cucumber slices. He's super excited about the cucumber. He packed his Camper of the Day certificate and a disposable waterproof camera he found in the basement. You know, I don't even ask anymore. And yes, he's wearing a cape. Of course, he's wearing a cape. In somewhat related news, Ike is trying VERY HARD to say Ezra's name. (He's called him "brother" until recently, or more accurately: BWA-VA.) He still doesn't have the "r" sound yet, so it sounds more like... Read more →