My Organizational Skillz, Let Me Sh-OOH LOOK SOMETHING SHINY
Return of the Petting Zoo

Today's Dubious Accomplishments

As I mentioned in yesterday's bloggy installment of fail, Ike's preschool ends at noon. (Technically it's a pre-preschool; a toddler program for 2-year-olds. Mini Montessori, with smaller chairs and bonus potty training.) And yet by the time I arrive at 11:59, Ike is almost always the very last child to be picked up. It was the same deal last year, too.

WHAT GIVES, other parents? Why you gotta be so over-achieving and stuff? I get the whole missing your baybeeee thing but dammit, the school day is three measly hours long and I paid for every last one of those 180 minutes. And Imma use every last one of those minutes. But then I get there well within the confines of my paid-for minutes and Ike's sitting there all Forever Alone In My Principles. 

Anyway. Stop making me look bad, is all. Let's all collectively embrace the lazy, as a united group. 


But hey! Since everyone is now back at school and I have entire luxurious hours to sit around being drunk and stuff, I will once again be writing Advice Smackdowns at AlphaMom twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays. Yay! And huzzah! So if you've been hesitant to send in a question because you weren't sure if your dilemma was sponge-worthy in light of the once-a-week posting schedule, now's your chance! Just make sure it's something I can solve in under three hours, give or take 20 minutes while the caffeine kicks in. 


In summary, happy Friday. Here is a butt.




I never understood why parent's got to the preschool pickup line so early! Like, one time when I was out and didn't have time to go home before I picked up my son, and it was AT LEAST 20 minutes early, there were already 5 cars lined up.

Quit it, people! Stop making me the last one to pick up my kid when I'm still early!

(In summary - I agree to embrace the lazy.)


"Sponge worthy", lol!

I was five minutes early to pick my daughter up from preschool the other day and there were already five cars in the lot. And when I was three minutes late she was the last kid left.


Just wait until the one day you decide to pick him up early. THAT'S the day that something cool is going on and it's all with the 'noooooo mom! There's cakeeeeeeee!'


Forever Alone In My Principles. Best.

It's like my life's motto, "being early is for suckers".


I love how Ike is calmly playing with a horse oblivious to his upside-down brother beside him!


Noon is when I'm hungry, noon is when I eat. That would be the only reason to pick up the kids early! As an aside, I live in Montréal, and we don't "do" preschool here. We have daycare (in-home or formal) and grade school that starts at 5yo. I'm always intrigued by the discussions on preschool and how competitive the can be.


Hilarious and a wonderful cap to my oh-so-crazy week.


I was going to say I like boys' butts. But no, that's wrong. To say. Out loud. And I don't really like boys' butts anyway, what was I thinking? I was trying to say no one minds that you show the boys' butts. Still, that's not...happy Friday!


Last school year I nannied for my sister in law, watching my niece & nephews 4 days a week. The two younger kids had "mother's day out" at a nearby church so after running errands I'd head over there to pick them up. The start & end times were off by 15 min, so the 4.5 year old got out at 11:45, and the 3 year old got out at noon.

Typically I'd pick up my niece, then head to the minivan to chat about her day & hang out until time to pick up her brother, but often the younger kids teacher would see me and bring out my nephew to get picked up early. Which, um, no. His class still has 15 more minutes, and the difference between one and two preschoolers is huge, even if it's just for 15 minutes. Let me have my time with my niece, stop trying to get rid of your students early lady!

My son is only 8 weeks old, but I will definitely be an 11:59 pickup mom when the time comes.


Good news re: the Smackdown!


Good news re: the Smackdown!


Here is my smackdown question..
Why do some kids like putting their butt in the air like that? My 5 y/o daughter is sitting like that constantly. She is currently watching tv ala your kid in the photo and I am a *little* worried. I mean, this doesn't continue into the teenage years does it? What should I do?


People pick their kids up early from school/daycare?!? Seriously, why on earth would anyone do that? Mine aren't in preschool yet, but I'm pretty sure that when the time comes, if I ever accidentally arrive early, I'll sit in the parking lot and check my email until 11:59:59.

PS - mommylovesyousosomuchpreciousbabies!




Sorry but if I'm paying for something (After Care/ In Home Child Care/Preschool/WTF'ever Care) you can damn well bet I'm picking up at the time it closes UNLESS we have an appt or ya know the trash needs to go out at the house.

My $$ is going to pay for those people to work and guess what I don't get paid if I schlep off so why should they?

High 5 from another is-your-Mom ever-early-or-always-a-minute behind'er!


What great news about the smackdown! Yay!


Amy, dumb question. How do we submit a question to the Advice Smackdown? Just email you? Or is there a place on the site where we can submit? Thanks!! -Keri


Hey Amy, Long time reader blah blah blah. I am a librarian and was just looking at new books coming out and saw this one you need to find: Ike's Incredible Ink by Farley. Imma not link it so you know I'm not a spammer.

It's about writer's block, procrastination, the artistic process, and a fabulous illustration of what happens when you put ink in a blender with no lid. Plus: Ike.


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay more Smackdown! As soon as I walk in the door of my toddler's daycare, as in not even at his class yet, the teachers scratch one number off their list. Stop rushing me, geez!

Cait B

YAY for more smackdown *crosses fingers that you pick my self indulgent narcissistic question*

and yay for kids being back, except I'm a teacher so BOOOOOOOO


I still remember reading your advice smackdown answer that saved my and my yet to be born daughter's lives. So I think they are all sponge worthy! (All fine-she's 3 now, blah blah happy ending.)


Oh yes, the early mom thing exists where I am too. I only got 2.5 hours though! Why am I then coming 10 mins early to pick up my kid? If you factor in travel time, I'm losing 5 or so mins after obligatory chitchat, 10 mins walking home, and 10 mins walking back, plus showing up 10 mins early!! means that I lose nearly half an hour of childcare time! Thanks a lot early moms. Thanks for nothing.

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