The Not-God of Cake
Putting His Money Where My Mouth Is

I Sense a Theme Developing

This morning I went through my photos in search of any and all pictures I've taken that include all three of my children. Preferably photos of all three of them sitting relatively close and still, i.e. any picture with two children and one blurry background schmear doesn't count. (Neither do professional or Santa photos, just to up the challenge even more. Surely I was capable of cobbling together a few decent candids.)

My goal was to have enough of them at different ages to print out and frame. And also maybe to successfully cover a small patch of wall in the stairwell that I don't feel like repainting. 

What follows is every single photo since the birth of Ike* that meets those criteria:

*AKA my personal favorite from a batch of 25 mostly-identical shots


NOT PICTURED: The television screen, just off to their left.


NOT PICTURED: The warming glowy moving picture box of cosmic wonder.


NOT PICTURED: The Wipe-Out marathon I let them watch in Williamsburg because the hotel didn't get Nick Jr.

ALSO NOT PICTURED: Me and Jason hiding in our room, binge-watching House of Cards on a laptop. 


NOT PICTURED: A poorly-thought-out screening of Scar Me For Life, Why Don't Ya (aka Disney's The Fox & The Hound).



NOT PICTURED: Active brain function, critical thinking, etc.


At last! The whole family, screens included, together in a single photo.

I am pretty sure the lesson here is that I should let them stare at screens more often. You know, for memories and posterity and shit. 



See? The TV is a magic box that keeps kids from hitting, poking, and generally annoying each other. It's genius!!!


OMG - all the legs in that last picture killed me dead.

Cait B.

I knew TVs were good for SOMETHING!

Your boys are too cute lady :)


The magic box gives their pale pale skin such a nice glow ;)


Oh but that last photo is sooo sweet, how they are squished around Noah :-)


Just last night, I took a candid picture of my husband and my 3yo daughter, him on his ipod playing CandyCrush, her sitting on his lap with my ipod watching Caillou, while the TV was on showing I don't know what. Just before I got up to take the picture, I was checking Facebook on the Ipad! Let's say we love our screens too!

Sarah Lynn

With some skillful captioning, you could imply that they were absorbed in a musical performance by your highly talented friend, or a poetry reading, perhaps.


My husband used to guilt me about the Sesame street I let my toddler watch in the morning so mommy can shower/slap on clothing before running out the door to daycare. Then I left for a 3 day business trip. Lets just say, no more guilt about the child's love of Elmo.


The last one is my favorite, hands down. ALL HAIL THE GLOWING BOX OF WONDER AND WORDS!


I was almost fooled by the last picture, thinking they were looking at a book! I think my husband lets our 2 year old watch too much TV but he always says he loves it because then our son cuddles with him.


My son is currently watching Yo Gabba Gabba while I read blogs, so no judgement here!

P.S. That last one is definitely frameworthy!

Sara M

My two older boys, 6 and 4, LOVE LOVE Wipeout. I hate it, but they watch it with Dad, so it's their bonding time.


i have about 10 bajillion pics of Avery with that lovely blue-ish glow on her face. It's really the only time she's still.


Those boys are too cute! BTW, my work has been forbidding your blog because of "adult material"... was it the cake talk? The adorable pictures? Who knows, but now I can read and the world is alright again.


Time for some professional pics Amy!


Damm! Now I'm going to have to rewatch the fox and the hound. The last shot is perfection.

Leigh Ann

Effing Fox & the Hound. My kids had the same look of terror on their faces.


The last one: dangerously close to texting my husband to tell him we need to have MOAR babies.


Ike's hair?

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