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September 2013
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November 2013

This morning I went through my photos in search of any and all pictures I've taken that include all three of my children. Preferably photos of all three of them sitting relatively close and still, i.e. any picture with two children and one blurry background schmear doesn't count. (Neither do professional or Santa photos, just to up the challenge even more. Surely I was capable of cobbling together a few decent candids.) My goal was to have enough of them at different ages to print out and frame. And also maybe to successfully cover a small patch of wall in the stairwell that I don't feel like repainting. What follows is every single photo since the birth of Ike* that meets those criteria: *AKA my personal favorite from a batch of 25 mostly-identical shots NOT PICTURED: The television screen, just off to their left. NOT PICTURED: The warming glowy moving picture box of cosmic wonder. NOT PICTURED: The Wipe-Out marathon I let them watch in Williamsburg because the hotel didn't get Nick Jr. ALSO NOT PICTURED: Me and Jason hiding in our room, binge-watching House of Cards on a laptop. NOT PICTURED: A poorly-thought-out screening of Scar Me For Life,... Read more →


The Not-God of Cake

(THIS) So yesterday was Noah's birthday party. We had it at the same indoor bouncy place as last year's Noah/Ezra Duo Extravaganzalooza, mostly because 1) repeating the venue and format makes it easier on Noah to handle the transitions and general overwhelmingness of a party, and 2) it's easy and you can book online and not have to talk to people on the phone and basically I am lazy. But after outsourcing just about everything party-related, I did have a flash of I AM MORE THAN A CREDIT CARD guilt and decided that I would at least bake Noah's birthday cake. We made a plain chocolate layer cake for his "real" birthday and he loved it, so I figured I'd adapt it into a sheet cake and do some rudimentary decorating (translation: toss some candy or something on top, I dunno). Just to Pinterest this joint up a bit, is all. I baked the cake on Saturday and it was fine. A simple but good-lookin' from-scratch cake. On Sunday morning I whipped up a batch of frosting, and that was...less fine. I'm not sure what I screwed up but it was more like a cake batter than a frosting. Jason... Read more →


Once upon a time, approximately one and a half hours ago, I posted the following photo to Instagram: And yes, I posted it from my car, which is of course a terrible horrible no-no thing to do, though in my defense I posted it while the car was sitting still in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Completely, terribly, horribly no-no-no-OH-FUCK still. (I also used the microphone thing-y to transcribe the caption. SAFETY FIRST.) When I left my house to pick Ike up from school, the info screen informed me that I had 11 miles to go before empty. Ike's school is about four miles away, with a gas station smack dab in the middle. So we cool, Info Screen Bro. We cool. TWENTY MINUTES LATER, I arrived at Ike's school — over 10 minutes late and completely baffled by the traffic I'd just sat through. It's noon! On a Thursday! The government isn't even open! What the hell! Ike's teacher said that another parent told her that the President Obama's motorcade was in the area. Which: Yuuuuupppp. That'll do it, all right. That'll fuck things up real good. I once sat at a traffic light while the vice president's motorcade passed through the... Read more →


So here's a confession, of sorts: For YEARS, I blamed myself for Noah's picky eating habits. It was all my fault, you see, because I'd done some very specific things "wrong" when he was a baby and toddler. I started solids too early, I relied almost exclusively on jarred/packaged/processed baby foods, I never incorporated child-led weaning practices, I let his pickiness rattle me and I made it all a big deal, I short-order cooked for him and eventually mealtimes just devolved into dry Cheerios, peanut-butter crackers and a cup of milk because I just couldn't deal with it. And here's part two of my confession: For YEARS, I have likewise taken full credit for Ezra's non-picky eating habits. Because with him, you see, I did everything RIGHT. I delayed solids and let him take the lead, I made all his baby food from scratch, I grew our own fruits and vegetables so everything was as fresh as possible, I exposed him to a ton of variety, I gave him what the rest of the family ate whenever possible, I included him in food shopping/prep/cooking and yet above all remained cool and unflappable in the face of food whims and rejections.... Read more →