Yes, Halloween is over, but now is the PERFECT time to get your next horror movie project greenlit* for an October 2014 release.** Here are some free*** plot ideas for you to use.
*Is it? I have no actual idea.
**Sounds a little ambitious. Maybe go read a book about movie-making at the library first.
***Free unless you make money off them. Then you need to pay me some of that money.
Idea #1: THE SIZE 4T PANTS FROM THE BLACK LAGOON
NARRATOR: In a world...where no one in your household wears size 4T pants anymore. A world where the simple act of folding laundry reveals a sinister infestation...the outgrown pants that you swear you've packed away already...resurface.
MOM: (gazes at size tag, perplexed) Jesus Christ, how many pairs of 4T pants do we own?
NARRATOR: ...they return.
CHILD: (sobbing pitifully in early morning light) Moooooommmm these pants don't fiiiiiiitttt meeee.
NARRATOR: ...for their RESURRECTION.
(ominous close-up of washing machine)
(ominous-er close-up of plastic hand-me-down bin overflowing with pants)
NARRATOR: This fall, it's the closet turnover that never ends.
MOM: Where's the bin? Honey! Where'd you put the 4T bin?? I found another pair of pants.
NARRATOR: This fall, get ready for the hand-me-downs...of HORROR.
DAD: I put the bin in the basment. On that back high shelf that you can't reach.
Idea #2: THE LEGO STRIKES AT DAWN
An unsuspecting family moves into a new house, full of hope and promise and gleamingly smooth hardwood floors. But at night, every night, something happens. LEGOs. Here and there, at first, usually right in the path to the bathroom. The dark grey ones that are particularly hard to see. One day the mother pulls out her wallet at the supermarket and dozens of LEGOs fall out. Her torture continues with visions of wall-to-wall LEGOs in the living room and she is subsequently involuntarily committed. In a quest to prove her sanity, she sets up night-vision video cameras around the house to prove that the LEGOs really have become sentient and are out for the blood of her family's feet. The madness escalates as it is revealed that the house was built on an old sacred LEGO factory and the minifigs are capable of much more fine-motor movement than previously believed.
Idea #3: CHILDREN OF THE KINDLE
What starts out as pride and admiration for their young children's natural aptitude for smartphones and tablets takes a dark and sinister turn when parents realize the children are better at using them than they are.
MOM: I just need to order some cat food..wait, where'd the Amazon app go? Joey? Do you know where the Amazon app went?
JOEY: Yes, Mother. I do.
ANOTHER MOM: (opens credit card statement) Oh my God! $419 in...magic seeds for a zombie farm? The hell? Sally? Do you know anything about this?
SALLY: Yes, Mother. I do.
By the time the townspeople realize what's happening, it is far, far too late.
TERRIFIED MOM AT EMERGENCY TOWN MEETING: They've figured out in-app purchases! They're using parental controls against us!
ANOTHER FRIGHTENED PARENT: They set a password on my iPad and now it's disabled and the guy at the Genius Bar said I need to restore it to factory defaults to override it...but then he mysteriously died of a heart attack before he could tell me how to do that!
HYSTERICAL PITCHFORK-WIELDING TOWNSPERSON: I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANDROID.
ARMY OF CREEPY CHILDREN: (a final shot reveals they are slowly closing ranks around the town; the glowing screens light up their vacant faces as they quietly hum the Angry Birds theme song)