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October 2013
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December 2013

Free Horror Movie Ideas

Yes, Halloween is over, but now is the PERFECT time to get your next horror movie project greenlit* for an October 2014 release.** Here are some free*** plot ideas for you to use. *Is it? I have no actual idea. **Sounds a little ambitious. Maybe go read a book about movie-making at the library first. ***Free unless you make money off them. Then you need to pay me some of that money. Idea #1: THE SIZE 4T PANTS FROM THE BLACK LAGOON NARRATOR: In a world...where no one in your household wears size 4T pants anymore. A world where the simple act of folding laundry reveals a sinister infestation...the outgrown pants that you swear you've packed away already...resurface. MOM: (gazes at size tag, perplexed) Jesus Christ, how many pairs of 4T pants do we own? NARRATOR: ...they return. CHILD: (sobbing pitifully in early morning light) Moooooommmm these pants don't fiiiiiiitttt meeee. NARRATOR: ...for their RESURRECTION. (ominous close-up of washing machine) (ominous-er close-up of plastic hand-me-down bin overflowing with pants) NARRATOR: This fall, it's the closet turnover that never ends. MOM: Where's the bin? Honey! Where'd you put the 4T bin?? I found another pair of pants. NARRATOR: This fall, get... Read more →

This Is the Halloween That Never Ends

It's ridiculous how many Halloween-related photos I've posted already, isn't it? AND YET Noah "marching" in his school's Halloween parade. Happily, proudly. Ike joined in and may have stolen a little of the second graders' collective thunder, but they didn't seem to mind. Especially the girls. At the classroom party afterwards you'd have thought I'd brought them a pony, rather than a 2 year old. /gratuitous Later, Noah AGAIN changed his mind about treat-or-treating (we'd agreed that he'd stay home and hand out candy with me, because he gets nervous about spooky/decorated houses) at the very, very last minute. Jason, Ezra and Ike were literally halfway out the door when he decided to put his costume back on — this time with a collared shirt and Hogwarts tie! — and join the fun. I made the mistake of trying to photograph the fun. Or the...pre-fun, I guess, when everybody was too damn excited to stand still and look normal for 10 flipping seconds. WHAT THE HELL? THERE'S CANDY *RIGHT* THERE, PEOPLE! WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME AWAY FROM THE CANDY AND YET SAYING WE'RE GOING TO GO GET MORE CANDY? NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS MAKES A LICK OF SENSE... Read more →