December 09, 2013
The DC metro area was pounded over the weekend with like...I dunno. A couple inches of snow and a coating of slushy stuff. So naturally it was time to 1) panic, 2) BUY ALL THE BREAD, 3) CANCEL ALL THE SCHOOLS, and 4) realize how poorly outfitted my children are for winter weather.
I have a huge plastic bin full of snow pants, snow boots and other snow-related accessories. Most of the stuff inside still has the tags attached, since I apparently have the ability to control the weather.
If I buy my kids boots and snow pants ahead of time, all proactive-like, it will not snow that winter. I'm like the Snow Queen from Frozen, only in reverse and more shoppy. I wave my magic hands in the direction of a 40% off outerwear sale and BOOM. We will not see snow or ice again until my children have solidly outgrown whatever I just bought them.
So yesterday I hauled the bin out and started digging through it. Ezra very much wanted to go outside and play in the snow, so I needed to outfit him for blizzard-type conditions. (Note that you could still see the tips of the grass through the snow, so I fully realize that I am part of the "DC IS DUMB & WUSSY ABOUT SNOW" problem.)
He ended up going outside in snow pants that were at least two sizes too big — I cuffed up about four inches on the legs and tucked in a size 3T fleece shell to help fill out the waist. He wore unmarked boots in a unknown size that maybe kinda vaguely fit. I couldn't find a hat that adequately covered his ears, so he wore the hoods from both the toddler-sized fleece and his coat up. And while I DID have a nice pair of brand-new ski gloves that should have fit him, he proved to be utterly incapable of getting his fingers in the right glove holes and after 25 tries I gave up and sent him out in his non-waterproof mittens, both of which were completely snow-caked and useless within minutes.
Noah asked if he could go outside as well, but I told him he had to wait until Ezra returned with the snow pants. And was he okay with wearing plastic bags rubber-banded around his shoes? The biggest boots we have are three sizes too small because you have giant hobbit feet all of a sudden. Also, I only have one ski glove and one knit glove in your size, and they are both for your left hand so you'll need to wear one of them backwards.
On second thought, Noah decided, he'd rather stay inside and play LEGOs for awhile.
Ike, on the other hand, could have had his choice of THREE different pairs of brand-new snow pants, thanks to hand-me-downs that I didn't realize were all basically the same size. (Technically a size too small for Ike but I am VERY good at mashing and squishing. I was *thisclose* to cramming my 5-year-old into the size 24 months pants but realized they'd probably be capri-length at best.) I found boots for him too, and a variety of hats. No mittens, OF COURSE, because of the mitten goblins.
Ike didn't go outside either, in the end. He took a long nap and by the time he woke up the snow had turned to sleet and grossness and was entirely non-magical. Jason braved the weather to run some errands (including donating our excess toddler snow pants and the AP-level ski gloves) and did procure some snow boots and snow pants for Noah.
Which means it will not snow again until at least 2015. YOU'RE WELCOME.