LADIES AND GENTLEMAN OF THE JURY:
This is what Ike's Hairz looked like yesterday, after a good long nap:
GLORIOUS, is how Ike's Hairz looked.
Truly outstanding craziness, in every possible direction. Really good work, son.
And I think that about sums up the remainder of my feelings on the haircut topic. Let us never speak of it again; let us only shove all of our fingers into those curls five hundred times a day until the poor baby's like, "STAHP IT, MAH HAIRZ."
In other words, AS YOU (I) WERE (WAS).
BONUS EZRA, FOR YOUR WEEKEND ENJOYMENT:
Every morning, Ezra starts with the same question. "You know what dream I had?" he asks.
What follows is not really ever an accurate description of a real dream, but more of a early-morning free-form short story/tall tale rap session. Every dream gets a title and a detailed cast of characters culled from TV shows, movies or books, with storylines inspired by completely different TV shows, movies or books, and Ezra delivers it all with the most dramatic, edge-of-your-seat delivery a 5-year-old can muster. It's like crossover fan fiction for the preschool set.
(The Angry Birds Dream, for example, features the birds going through a portal to battle El Macho from Despicable Me 2, but then Captain Underpants shows up, and there is a space battle, and also a laser, which they all use to cook soup. But it's...breakfast soup! And it's...spicy! Wicked plot twist, there. Good times.)
Anyway, last night's "dream," according to Ezra, was "the Star Chart dream."
(I thought this was interesting, as Ezra has been struggling with his star chart — namely, the star he receives for getting out of bed and getting dressed on his own, without Mom or Dad having to nag him 300 times before eventually hauling him out by his legs and physically shoving body parts into clothing holes on his behalf. I perked up in hopes that this dream would involve some villain getting his Star Chart comeuppance for being a pain in the butt about putting his pants on.)
"Yeah, the Star Chart Dream!" Ezra continued. "And the Umperprise was there, but then the bad guy pokey ship came and destroyed the whole Umperprise!"
"Ezra, do you mean Star Trek? With the Enterprise?"
"That's what I said. The UMPERPRISE. From STAR CHART."