February 03, 2014
We're having a bit of a Star Trek renaissance over here lately — Noah cycles through his geeky pursuits with a singular focus on one thing at a time, so it's Star Trek's turn once again to be the all-consuming obsession du jour. (Until The Lego Movie opens this weekend and destroys everything and anything else in its unstoppable merchandising path, that is.)
It's mostly due to our decision (translation: Jason's decision. EVERYBODY BLAME JASON!) to let them watch Star Trek Into Darkness. Noah is really the only one who actually watched — and I stepped in with some selective fast-forwarding, because it is apparently my job to be the PG-13 wet blanket about father/son fandom bonding — while Ike and Ezra were mostly unable to follow the plot and spent most of the movie with Ikea baskets on their heads, running full force into the wall.
(Though Ezra WAS really, reeeeeeally excited about the Captain Kirk chair he built out of throw pillows.)
(The next day he added a safety bar/dinner tray.)
ANYWAY. Noah had some problems following the plot as well, what with the new movies doing things all off-canon and lens flare-y, and especially since we (JASON. THIS IS ALL JASON.) had earlier let him watch the original Wrath of Khan (JASON YOU BETTER FAST-FORWARD THAT BUG/EAR PART SO HELP ME GOD.) and the original Khan episode from the original series, in that order.
Noah was thoroughly confused by All the Khans and the age jumps and got very upset at the idea of there being "different" Enterprises. I worried that all this Star Trek was just too much for him, since for Noah, confusion/frustration can very quickly devolve into anxiety.
So Jason attempted to explain the concept of time travel and alternate timelines and universes via this incredibly detailed chart of every Star Trek movie and...I don't know. Other Star Trekkie things.
Noah later drew a simplified one to explain it all to Ezra. I was impressed until Jason (JASONNNNNN!) was all, "Yeah, except he's kind of wrong, because he has the original Khan show on the new timeline and the new Khan movie on the blah blah de blah nerd neckbeard talkyspeak blah."
(I'm sorry. I was raised on Star Wars. I was brought up right.)
Jason's already itching to move on to The Next Generation. Noah's already completely left me behind in the copious amounts of trivia he's absorbed and I'm thoroughly unable to answer his most basic questions, since I know like, character names and the Borg and all the captains ranked by hotness. He's asking deep philosophical questions about the ethics of planetary exploration and what the seventh button on the left does to the shuttlecraft's power coupling.
"Dude, I have no idea," I tell him. "Go ask your father."
"Okay," he says. "Dad knows everything about Star Trek. Someday I'll know everything too."