March 14, 2014
So yes. Noah does indeed have strep throat. This is a first for us — no one's ever gotten strep before, so it's exciting! We got a brand-new antibiotic and everything. The never-ending parade of nonstop adventure marches on, as always.
Noah's doctor helpfully taught me how to identify strep on sight (CHECK THE UVULA) just in case ("IN CASE") it stampedes through the rest of our household, and life descends into a revolving door of strep tests, retests and assembly-line antibiotic dosing.
(goes to bathroom to inspect own uvula for the four dozenth time because I can't talk about strep without getting a weird throat tickle)
Yeah. It's been a hell of a week. My one shining moment of decent luck and general getting-cut-a-freaking-break came at the pharmacy, when I was picking up Noah's prescription. After waiting in a line that spanned the entire length of an aisle — it started back at the deodorants and remained a solid back-up of fellow pill-seeking people through hair dye and hosiery — I was LITERALLY the last customer to successfully pay for my prescription before the computer system crashed and the entire pharmacy was left unable to help anyone else.
I clutched Noah's medicine to my chest and sheepishly retreated down the diaper aisle to avoid the glares of everybody behind me in line, while also resisting the urge to shriek SCREW YOU, THE UNIVERSE OWED ME. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE.
Speaking of Noah, I would like to ask for some advice, Internet. Next week he will be taking a field trip to Mt. Vernon with his school, and he is very, VERY excited about the chance to hang with his old pal George Washington again.
But apparently he's been causing some...confusion at school, as...well. Okay. We were so ridiculously charmed over Noah's excitment about meething his Next Top American Presidential Idol George Washington that I guess we let him run with the whole idea that he'd actually met George Washington. We definitely told him a couple times that it was really an actor, but by that point he was already too far gone with his theory that no, George Washington died but came alive again, because sometimes that happens.
It's true, he says, because he read it in a book. He has sources, you guys! Turns out that the When Dinosaurs Die book we bought him after my dad died covers multiple ideas and beliefs about the afterlife, including reincarnation. Therefore, it doesn't matter what the biographies say, George Washington was reincarnated and spends his days in Williamsburg and Mt. Vernon. FACT. IRREFUTABLE FACT.
We assumed this would be one of those things he'd eventually figure out on his own — like his growing sense that Santa is more of an idea than an actual person — but for now, he remains unshakeably convinced and is arguing with both teachers and peers about it. If anything, the upcoming trip has only strengthened his belief. When I tried to talk to him about the whole "actor" thing, I realized he's also completely confident that everyone will see that he was right all along, once they get to Mt. Vernon. "I'll show them," he mutters.
Jason and I plan to have one of us chaperone, mostly in hopes of preventing some kind of nuclear meltdown when this belief gets repeatedly challenged — and possibly shattered completely, when/if he sees a different person playing George Washington than the man in his photo. But I have a growing sense that we need to weaken his rigidity over this ahead of time.
So. Um. Any tips on how to gently crush my child's illusions and dreams between now and next Friday? Maybe the Williamsburg George Washington and the Mt. Vernon George Washington can be like, the new Mall Santas, filling in for the real one? Or hey, it's cool if you want to believe that but maybe let's try to keep it to ourselves during the trip and not pick fights with random historical reenactors? A note that reads YO NOAH I'M ACTUALLY DEAD FOR REAL NOW THIS TIME LOVE GEORGE WASHINGTON left under his pillow, tooth-fairy style?
Other terrible ideas welcomed. This week can suck it.