Note That I Still Technically Did Not Get Out of Bed Today, But Not Because I'm Sick. Just Lazy.
May 21, 2014
Typepad went down again on Monday, which you may or may not have noticed. I hardly did myself, though to be fair I woke up looking for reasons to go directly back to bed. So I did. And while Typepad was back up on its feet by yesterday, alas, I was not. I was still in bed, taking actual for-real sick days, knocked heartily down by tonsillitis.
Well, should probably make that actual for-real "sick days," with the air quotey-quote things. Because you know how it goes. The blog/writing gigs/freelance client work all got the shaft, but I still had to take Child A to Place Z and give Child B the form for Thing Y and get Child C from Place X at noon and make a lot of peanut butter and jellys. I took a lot of naps but always had an alarm set to go off in time to pick up the next child from school. Then I'd bring them home, scatter some foodstuffs and old iPhones on the kitchen counter and drag my ass back up to bed for another blessed hour of ice chips and moaning.
Yes, I'm exaggerating. My throat totally hurt too much to moan.
I'd never had tonsillitis before, I don't think. And I feel like I'd remember if I did, because it is painful. (She says, as if she is the first human to ever notice this, or to have the courage to call tonsillitis out on its shit.) I DO remember being jealous of my peers in elementary school who got their tonsils out, since all they ever talked about was all the ice cream they got to eat afterwards. And if I asked them why they got their tonsils out they would just say they got sore throats a lot.
Well, geez! I would think, because I was all about the minced oaths as a child, I get sore throats sometimes! In fact, I think my throat is sore right now!
But unlike the time I successfully "failed" a vision test in second grade right after my best friend got glasses, I was never able to convince a doctor to take my tonsils out in a quest for unlimited ice cream. In retrospect, wow, I was kind of a warped little kid...and yet IF MY PLAN HAD WORKED I WOULDN'T BE IN THE MESS I AM NOW, WITH GIANT INFLAMED TONSILS. SO THERE.
But I am better today! I can swallow without excruciating pain! For the first time since Saturday, there is actual, visible space between my tonsils! I no longer feel like I am being strangled from the inside out!
The bad news is that, after spending that many days in bed doing nothing, I have nothing newsworthy to report here, beyond I WAS SICK AND NOW I AM BETTER. I COULD TELL I FELT BETTER WHEN I CARED ENOUGH ABOUT BEING OUT OF CLEAN BRAS TO DO A LOAD OF LAUNDRY.
That's some deep, earth-shattering insight on the shared human experience, right there, as usual.
Also, hey look! We got the kids a new bubble machine.
(The old one was accidentally maliciously destroyed after I got tired of it leaking and everything in the backyard and deck being coated in a perpetual skin of bubble soap scum. I'd kinda forgotten about that part. On the other hand, it sure beats having to sit there blowing bubbles for the kids the old-fashioned way, one at a time, over and over and over again, like a parent who DOES THINGS and shit, so I guess it can stick around this time.)