You Failed Me, Blog. You Failed Me Hard.
Catch the Spirit

Note That I Still Technically Did Not Get Out of Bed Today, But Not Because I'm Sick. Just Lazy.

Typepad went down again on Monday, which you may or may not have noticed. I hardly did myself, though to be fair I woke up looking for reasons to go directly back to bed. So I did. And while Typepad was back up on its feet by yesterday, alas, I was not. I was still in bed, taking actual for-real sick days, knocked heartily down by tonsillitis. 

Well, should probably make that actual for-real "sick days," with the air quotey-quote things. Because you know how it goes. The blog/writing gigs/freelance client work all got the shaft, but I still had to take Child A to Place Z and give Child B the form for Thing Y and get Child C from Place X at noon and make a lot of peanut butter and jellys. I took a lot of naps but always had an alarm set to go off in time to pick up the next child from school. Then I'd bring them home, scatter some foodstuffs and old iPhones on the kitchen counter and drag my ass back up to bed for another blessed hour of ice chips and moaning.

Yes, I'm exaggerating. My throat totally hurt too much to moan.

I'd never had tonsillitis before, I don't think. And I feel like I'd remember if I did, because it is painful. (She says, as if she is the first human to ever notice this, or to have the courage to call tonsillitis out on its shit.) I DO remember being jealous of my peers in elementary school who got their tonsils out, since all they ever talked about was all the ice cream they got to eat afterwards. And if I asked them why they got their tonsils out they would just say they got sore throats a lot. 

Well, geez! I would think, because I was all about the minced oaths as a child, I get sore throats sometimes! In fact, I think my throat is sore right now! 

But unlike the time I successfully "failed" a vision test in second grade right after my best friend got glasses, I was never able to convince a doctor to take my tonsils out in a quest for unlimited ice cream. In retrospect, wow, I was kind of a warped little kid...and yet IF MY PLAN HAD WORKED I WOULDN'T BE IN THE MESS I AM NOW, WITH GIANT INFLAMED TONSILS. SO THERE.

But I am better today! I can swallow without excruciating pain! For the first time since Saturday, there is actual, visible space between my tonsils! I no longer feel like I am being strangled from the inside out! 

The bad news is that, after spending that many days in bed doing nothing, I have nothing newsworthy to report here, beyond I WAS SICK AND NOW I AM BETTER. I COULD TELL I FELT BETTER WHEN I CARED ENOUGH ABOUT BEING OUT OF CLEAN BRAS TO DO A LOAD OF LAUNDRY. 

That's some deep, earth-shattering insight on the shared human experience, right there, as usual

Also, hey look! We got the kids a new bubble machine.

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(The old one was accidentally maliciously destroyed after I got tired of it leaking and everything in the backyard and deck being coated in a perpetual skin of bubble soap scum. I'd kinda forgotten about that part. On the other hand, it sure beats having to sit there blowing bubbles for the kids the old-fashioned way, one at a time, over and over and over again, like a parent who DOES THINGS and shit, so I guess it can stick around this time.)

 

 

Comments

Famous67

In case you missed my tweet to you on Monday:
@amalah Your blog is broken again. What am I going to read in the bathroom at work now?
Guess where I am now...

Famous67

And, glad you are feeling better. 😎

Wendy

Wow.. never knew I was a parent that DOES things and shit... But I do get bored with blowing bubbles quite soon, unlike my 2-year old.. tried to teach him to do it himself but all he does is put that stick into his mouth every. single. time.

Salome Ellen

Bleh. I had my tonsils out in third grade. All the books promised me ice cream, but what I actually got was Jello, because my doctor subscribed to the "clear liquids only" school. And I LOATHE Jello, with the blazing fire of a thousand suns. (A texture issue...)

N.B. It is possible I am venting here because my family have reached the point where they just tell me to forgive the doctor already...

Cait

Soo I am now 37 weeks pregnant and also just against getting out of bed at all...so I am reading entries from back when you had Noah.

which was 9 years ago...

which HOLY FUCKING SHIT! 9 years!! the hell kinda crap is that!! *panic* where did time go? You have always been my role model of a future self but how on earth did the future become now?

just thought I would share my morning crisis of existential angst...

Laura

Bubble machine linky please? Because I am absolutely of the non-doing mom variety.

Cara

Oh my goodness who stretch armstronged Noah?!?!

CarrieB

Wait, wait--you've found a non-leaky, non-soap-slick-producing bubble machine? What is it, where did you get it??

Oh and...ugh, sorry to hear about the throat terribleness.

But, bubbles that don't leak!

Amalah

I bought this bubble machine at Target. In the aisle what with all the outdoor beach pool backyard type things. I did not research this bubble machine; it was $10.99 and I was like, SOLD.

It leaks if you overfill it or if the kids tip it. Everything is soapy. They adore it. Neighborhood kids flock to it and we are the coolest house ever. We've had countless bubble parties and lots of fun.

TEN DOLLAHS NINETY-NINE CENTS AT TARGET Y'ALL!!

heather

I recommend the "Fubbles" bubble machine, has never leaked for me and thank baby jeebus it got me out of blowing bubbles till I passed out, which I never enjoyed. Very possibly the one you got at Target.

Claudia W

I see a man using a broom in one of those pictures! Score!

Kari The Great

Am soooo getting that bubble gun ASAP!

Also, on the topic of bubble awesomeness, when I was a kid, during carnival day my school would fill a small plastic pool full of cheap bubble mix, (few inches deep), put a milk crate in the middle (for the child/awesome adult) to stand on, and would dip a hula-hoop into the bubble raising it slowly up around you, so that you could be encased in a giant bubble. YESSS!! Kids under ten can be entertainted for hooours helping put eachother into bubbles. =D

DontBlameTheKids

Bubbles! Babies! So. Much. Cute.

michele

Have you had a strep test? (just sayin')

Danell

I also got my tonsils out when I was in elementary school. And no ice cram. None. I also am still bitter about it. (It was thirty-five years ago.)

Amy

Glad you're feeling better! Imma indulge myself here and relate a story that possibly no one but my immediate family finds funny: my daughter had her tonsils out at four; the medical personnel said she wouldn't feel like talking, so whisper to her and she should whisper back. This child woke up from anesthesia yelling, "MY THROAT HURTS"!! Refused ice cream all during her convalescence due to said sore throat, but never stopped yelling about it. The irony :)

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