The Get-Off-Your-Ass Chart
No Nap

Lazy Thursday Photo Round-Up

WRITER'S BLOCK. DAMN IT. 

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING INTERESTING TO WRITE ABOUT.

BUT NOT WRITING MEANS I SHOULD FIND SOMETHING TO CLEAN AND/OR TAKE A SHOWER AND I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING EITHER OF THOSE THINGS.

WHY AM I YELLING.

HEY LET'S LOOK AT SOME RANDOM PHOTOS FROM MY PHONE.

IMG_5791

One of the many blurry photos that still fail to fully capture the spirit of the boys' favorite game, "Everybody Jump Off The Arm Of The Couch And Pile Up On Mom." Play it today with your own 140+ pounds' worth of boy-children!

IMG_5902

Ike diagnosed me with a bad case of falling down and getting hurt (CHILD GETS ME, RIGHT?) and bandaged me up with a few dozen Ninjago stickers. It was cute at first but then every last one of these stickers ended up sticky-side down on the floor, where they demonstrated remarkable sticking power for a bunch of years' old novelty stickers. There's been a lot of scraping and cursing ever since.

(But at least my leg is all better now, according to Ike.)

This is how I felt about going back to blonde:

IMG_5840

This is me now:

IMG_5930

I'm ridiculous, I'm aware. But happy enough to actually smile in a damn picture!

IMG_5886

I made these noodles and learned how to properly pan-fry tofu. I told the kids we were having Kung Fu Panda Peanut Butter Noodles for dinner and everybody lost their damn minds. 

IMG_5941

Then this one time? They all sat still, next to each other, for almost an entire minute. It was glorious. 

IMG_5864

Finally, I misplaced my phone for awhile. When I found it, it was full of foreheads and eyeballs. One day someone is going to figure out how to take a picture of their butt and it will all be over, THE END.

Comments

Amanda

Love the idea of Kung Fu Panda peanut butter noodles. I would lose my own damn mind if I could get my 4-year-old to eat something even remotely "exotic" (I mean, aside from Velveeta shells and cheese over Kraft, of course. Because, whoa -- squeezy processed cheese instead of powdered processed cheese IS mind blowing after all.) Maybe I could sneak some zucchini noodles in there too...

Ann

A little over a year ago one of my best friends moved a significant distance away from me. Before he left I put together a giant care package of things my roommate and I had had to McGyver solutions for. (No cookie sheet? well shit how about this glass bit from a photo frame and some tin foil? We have no dish towels? HOW DO WE HAVE NO DISH TOWELS WE HAD LIKE 12 A MINUTE AGO I SWEAR!)

I very lovingly placed all the things into one of those giant Rubbermaid tote containers and decided to cover the container in assorted superhero and video game character stickers because my friend and I are both geeks.

Pro-tip. The stickers were a terrible idea and they started falling off that damn care package like it had frigging dandruff. I'm pretty sure my friend left a Hansel and Gretel type trail down 12 hours of highway because of those stickers and a year and a bit later I'm still finding them under furniture in my apartment.

The point of this rambling capslocky rant is that I learned a very valuable lesson concerning getting stickers off every damn thing in my whole apartment. Dab a little hand sanitizer on the sticker, let it sit for a few minutes and voila, it will slide off the surface and leave no sticky residue behind.

Sue W.

Gonna be trying the pan dried tofu! Sounds yumalicious!

Arnebya

Eh. My boy took a picture of his thigh which happened to also catch his penis because naked. I just need to make sure he doesn't text that shit to any other 4 yr olds.

SarahB

Our toddler loves fried "toe-food"! And perhaps I should cut our vegetables into long strips and market them as "Thomas the train" etc to get him to eat them...

Jessica V.

I love Ann's solution for removing stickers! One of my mom's go-to activities with the grandkids is to play with stickers, which means my brother and I find them all over the place for MONTHS after she's left.

Also - that last picture made me snort-laugh, on a client call. So funny! I love finding kid-selfies on my phone.

So - all in all - pretty successful for a writer's block post!

Karen

I still like the blonde. Do you think it would have grown on you if given the chance?

Melissa

I found pictures of my 4 year old's butt on my iPad. True story.

Kris

My people will not eat noodles with peanut butter. Not even the grown up one. Re your hair, I am so happy you went back to the RED!

Jill

Your writer's block still makes me laugh out loud.

My hair dresser dyed my hair that sort of red to get rid of the oddly went-greenish blond that I did to myself. I wailed 'you've made me ginger'. And then I realised, that is a much better colour. Suits you, sir.

monica

I have been wondering how the deodorant wars are going - its been a while....

Dori

I love the red. It suits you very well. Also, now I wonder if I could convince my 4-year-old to eat "weird" things if I named them something clever. Only problem, I am not clever.

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