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October 2014
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December 2014

I don't mean to alarm anyone here, but apparently Thanksgiving is like, really super soon. I know, right? THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION. EVERYBODY PANIC. But it really did JUST occur to me this morning, and yet here I sit, tappity tap tapping on the glowy Internet box instead of getting my house somewhat company acceptable or making grocery lists or reminding my husband for the millionth that it's his turn to pick up the turkey at the farm, because every year I go, I time it wrong and arrive right when the line is at its most insane. Then I typically lose five hours of my life and at least one child. (The obvious solution of buying a previously frozen turkey instead of a fresh one, however, is completely unacceptable to me and I would thank you all to shut your whore mouths about it. Let me be alone with my whining! Stop trying to solve my problems!) My house is a total disaster right now. It's clean and all, but just about every surface needs a good decluttering, and everywhere I look I see a Thing that is supposed to go Somewhere Else, but there's already Another Thing... Read more →


I picked Ike up from school yesterday, and as I was buckling him in, he surveyed his brother's empty booster seats and promptly burst into tears. (BREAKING: 3 year old remains 3 years old; filled to brim with drama, inner turmoil) I assumed he was upset because Noah and Ezra weren't in the car — they are never in the car, we go directly from Ike's school to their bus stop only EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE, but hey, don't let our thoroughly established routine get in the way of your freakout, kid — and reminded him that he'd see his brothers in just a few minutes. He shook his head. "I don't want my brothers. I want my baby sister. Where is my baby sister?" Uhhh... "You don't have a sister. But you have brothers!" "I'M BORED OF BROTHERS!" I got in the car and changed the subject. I didn't have the heart to tell him — though I will break the news to you, Internet, or at least the segment of Internet who is still #TeamMoreBabies — that his father finally made his appointment for a vasectomy consult that very morning. There will be no baby sister (or... Read more →


Hi blog. I really have nothing interesting to talk about. But I guess that's never stopped me before, soooo... Do you remember Ike's whole HUGANNAKISSANNAHIGHFIVE goodbye song-and-dance/separation strategy thing? (Aside: Yes, my 3 year old talks in CAPSLOCKNOSPACEBAR. So does yours, I bet.) Last week, that abruptly backfired on us and dropping him off at school once again became A Whole Thing, With Drama, Lots of Tears, Tiring, as Ike would demand one full round of HUGANNAKISSANNAHIGHFIVE after another, and yet never seem satisfied or ready for us to leave. Eventually we'd just have to peel him off our bodies, get in the car and drive off while he sobbed. Unlike. We appear to have stumbled on a new solution, which is the Return of the Robot Backpack. We'd stopped sending the backpack in to school because Ike's Robot Lunchbox is exactly the same size, because I ordered them online and had no sense of scale and/or forgot to check the product dimensions. It quickly felt like overkill to mash the lunchbox (which typically only has half of a sandwich and a wee portion of fruit tumbling around inside) inside the backpack every morning just so Ike can have shoulder... Read more →


Over the past week, we have attended three different parent/teacher conferences. Which I guess makes sense, given that we have three different children, but still. What a damn timesuck that ends up being. Something to consider for any ongoing family planning purposes, you guys. . All three conferences were fairly uneventful. Ike enjoys learning about animals and seems very comfortable "exploring the classroom space." (Translation: wandering around like a hopped-up ping-pong ball.) He is going through a "big vocabulary development phase." (Translation: He never ever shuts up.) Occasionally he can be quite "independent" (stubborn, difficult, made of NO, the perfect embodiment of every 3 year old ever) but is easily "redirected" (look Ike, it's something shiiiiiny!). He is not a big fan of the Montessori "Practical Life" activities. (Translation: Table dusting? Floor mopping? Silver polishing? WTF decade do you people think this is? Child labor laws and Dyson vaccuums. Look 'em up, assholes.) Noah enjoys...oh, throws up hands, Noah enjoys school and has the best teacher in the universe who responds to his occasional rigidity with all the calming flexibility of a gentle, graceful birch tree, who absolutely adores him and says things like, "oh, my heart!" when describing his... Read more →


Jason and I got tattoos yesterday. Match-y ones. Romantic, mushy, sentimental ones. Aren't we cute when we think we're still kinda cool and not just super lame and old? This is a Celtic symbol for new beginnings. Which I guess is kind of funny, since we've been together for so long, and plan to be together for much, much longer. We're not starting anything "over," we're not overcoming a rough patch or anything dramatic like that. This is more about What's Next. We're done having babies and our family is complete. It took us awhile to really feel at peace with that choice, but once we embraced it, the What's Next took a clearer shape. And so far, it's awesome. We're done making excuses as to why we can't eat right/lose weight/get healthy. We're done taking each other for granted in that sneaky, benign way that creeps up on you when you stop paying attention. We're done just being Mom and Dad, sitting on the couch watching TV while discussing the grocery list. We're still Amy and Jason. We're still up for new things, new adventures. And goddamn, we're still so stupid in love with each other. We've had the... Read more →


Halloween was such a non-event this year it hardly seems worth mentioning. Except that...you know...Halloween was such a non-event this year. Noah decided a couple months ago that he wanted to be a Ninja Turtle. He didn't know which one, and lately being asked to make a choice between several options or to pick a "favorite" really stresses him out, so we randomly picked Raphael for him. And Leonardo for Ike by mistake; he asked for Michaelangelo but I screwed it up and bought the wrong one. (I am getting really terrible at this stuff; a selective form of toy-and-cartoon-related dementia, or just a willful ignorance to hand over my remaining precious brainspace to the names and rich cross-merchandizing backstories of loud and obnoxious cartoon characters. Meanwhile my children want to talk about absolutely nothing else besides Teenage Transforming Mutant Ninja Angry Birds. Or something. I dunno. I'm rereading The Hunger Games, get off my lawn/battle arena.) Noah and Ike were thrilled with their costumes, at least, and Noah was especially comfortable wearing his and pretending to actually BE Raphael. Still not a big fan of Halloween decorations, either on houses or in stores, but considering the nearby mall hauled... Read more →