Dinner in Real Life, Blue Apron Style
The Best Things In Life Are Free and/or Stolen From Hotels

Hashtag Rebel Dinosaur

I was away AGAIN last week, in Austin, an amazing, awesome city I did not actually get to see much of beyond the confines of my hotel. I had a nice view from my room, but other than that, it was a long week of cycling between a hotel conference room, the Starbucks in the lobby, back to the conference room, the hotel restaurant, conference room, my room, lobby bar, conference room, conference room, lobby bar, lobby bar, lobby bar. 

I was there for this workshop, and also to confront my own dorkdom because I totally freaking loved it, although there was a moment at 9:30 a.m. on Day One when I texted my coworker (who was one whole chair away) that I was "not going to survive this." Not so much because of the content of the sessions, but more because I'd stupidly done the math and realized I'd been awake for 22 hours straight the day before and was running on less than four hours sleep, and THAT'S WHEN they told us to pull out a piece of paper and do some personal and professional goal setting via a writing exercise.

AMY'S BRAIN: No. No I will not. This is dumb and I hate it and everything hurts and this coffee is defective.

AMY'S FINGERS: Bitch, you are going to at least PRETEND to set some goals because otherwise the Invisible Marketing Workshop Authority Figures will judge you and maybe give you a failing grade. 

AMY'S BRAIN: I'm pretty sure we're not being graded. But I don't want to be judged, so touché. Write away, shaky hangover hands. 

The exercise involved writing "I WISH" 20 times down your paper, and then completing the sentence over and over, with wishes you would need to come true in order to be happy in 12 months. I quickly ran out of wishes that seemed like good things for my boss to read if he chose that moment to sneak a look at my paper, so I started branching out and writing anything and everything that popped into my head. 

Then we were told to start paring the list down. From 20 to 15, 15 to 10, etc. I knew exactly what they were trying to get us to do and I groused the whole time because I hate this touchy-feely life coach shit, but I dutifully crossed off wishes that, ehhhh, on second thought, I'm okay with passing on that one.

Finally, I got down to one final wish. And it was not the one I thought I would leave standing.

"I wish I blogged more."

And my brain was like, DAMN GURL YOU JUST LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT YO SELF. 

I enjoy my job(s). I enjoy feeling productive and useful and hellz yeah, I enjoy getting paid a dependable salary on a dependable basis, rather than the whims and drib/drabs of Internet advertising and sponsorships. I enjoy that I no longer feel OMGOBLIGATED to post here every day, that I enjoy my children more than I write about them, and I enjoy that there are actually things the Internet does not know about us, for the first time in a really long-ass time. 

But clearly, I miss it. This once or twice a week thing is making me unhappy, for reasons that have nothing to do money/Internet fame/the feedback validation loop/etc. 

I would like to write here more. Even if it's only about things that amuse only me, or just a few sentences, or shit that a NORMAL person would probably just put on Twitter, but the reality is that I very much dislike Twitter (SO. NOISY. SUCH. WANK.). But I play Social Media Expert during my day job, so maybe over here it's okay if I pretend it's still 2006 and none of that extra stuff exists yet. 

I like blogging. I miss it. I am going to try to do more of it. No promises, though. I don't want your RULES or your SCHEDULES or your WRITING EXERCISES. It's 2006, bitch! I do what I want.

Comments

LJ

we miss you too.

flybigd

Huzzah for 2006! Write on with your bad self.

Eilis

Good. We haz misses.

Daysgoby

Oh, I MISS THIS!!!!

Cait

you are probably the last blog I read still standing, so I am REALLY happy that you would like to do it more :) If you are around I will be overjoyed to see you!!

Lisa

Yes. We will like that too, if it happens:). And sit here waiting, pretty patiently, if it doesn't.

Jaime

I wasn't a blogger then, but I miss 2006 blogging, too. There's too much bullshit that goes along with it all, now.

I mean, really. Does everyone need a theme? Can't I just write about that one time my kid shit in the driveway and call it a day?

Jen

Word

Sarahd

Yay! You have made my day. I've been following along since before Noah and (does this make me a sad, sad person? as we've never actually met?) I have MISSED YOU lately. Hooray for cheesy workshop "activities"!

Elizabeth_K

I miss you, too, but know how much you have going on and am grateful for how often you do write. You are such a great, funny writer.

Donna P

I know! You could blog about your knitting. Still. waiting.

Natalie

I'm so glad! I love reading your blog. It reads like an internal monologue, and that is such a good thing! I think you are one of the most interesting and funny people out there. Okay, now I am sounding like an obsessed groupie. Which I might be, but I don't want to creep you out. In summary: YAY!

Holly

Hi Amy, long time (mostly) lurker, I'm in the same boat as Cait. Most of the blogs I have been reading for years have either quit or only post a few times a year. Is it sad that I still check? When I see you have a new post, it makes my day. Thank you.

Cass

Like the others, there's plenty of blogs I subscribe to but a good chunk of them I only read if I've finished all the others I'm excited about. Yours is one of the first I read and I get excited every time there's a new post. At the risk of sounding creepy, I've been following your blog since Noah was little (found it through the Advice Smackdown) and have been hooked ever since.

P.S. Totally understand about Twitter. At times I like it, but I've realized I can only do 2 social media networks at a time and it's easier to keep up with Instragram/Facebook for me.

Shannon

No schedules, no obligation, but man, would we love it if you blogged more here. I love your writing so much.

CJ

You are the only blog I read that makes the thought of being a "normal" non-fundamentalist, non-super crunchy homesteading parent sound reasonable and fun. Thank you.

Also. I miss the deoderant wars.

InDisguise

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a marketing consultant who . . . doesn't do the Twitter. I don't tweet, read any tweets; it does not exist to me. And I have felt no pain as a result. ;-P

Sue W.

You should take up scrapbooking. You could then change your Blog Policies AND have something to write about!
Add me to the list o‘ peeps who miss a more regular blogging schedule.

Sara M

I am so happy you're still going to write! I have been reading since my now 7 YO was a baby. Yours was the first one I found that wasn't 'everything is great, babies poop daisies' and you actually swear as much as I do. Everything else before I found you was way too pc and goody-goody for me. Please keep writing!!

Jelourai

Yaaay! We have missed you, while being proud and supportive of your success!

Yours is the ONLY blog I read. You don't necessarily need a plot, you don't need to make a point, just keep giving us the hilarious stream-of-consciousness updates that we love so much. Plus cursing and caps lock.

Dona

I hope you blog more because I get all tingly when I see you have a new post waiting for me to read. I know what you're going through though -- I don't blog as much as I used to and I miss it.

Olivia

I have a blog feed set up under bloglovin' it gives me the title and a couple of sentences of each entry. Yours is one of only one of maybe two that I click on and read the whole thing every time. I hope you are able to find a way to make yourself happy with blogging. I will be reading every single time.

And twitter...I do not get it.

Maggie

Yes! Three cheers for more blogging! I love your writing.

JP

Amy! This is music to my ears. Your writing is what makes your blog my long-standing favourite. Ever.

Shelbey

Yay! Blog more!! We miss it too.

LD's Mom

Yay for us. "Even if it's only about things that amuse only me, or just a few sentences" - Those are the very things that we your faithful readers find so very amusing!!!

Emily

Long, long-time lurker - since before Noah was born... just here to say that I still check the blog every day and love, love, love your writing. Glad it fulfills something important for you too, and I will be a willing reader whenever you choose to write!

Liz

We miss you, too! Of course you, Lady Of Such Blogging Experience, know this, but it doesn't always have to be a long blog post with a Point to it. Slap up some captioned pictures of Ceiba or Ike's Hairz, or a few sentences about your fool stumbly ankles or Jason's pest-and-household-trash removal skills, and we're happy. It's always nice just to get a peek in your thoughts.

Julia

thank you! so many blogs that I've read over the years are dying away. no pressure, just nice to know you still enjoy blogging -- when you have time (ha!), we are ready to read.

Jessica

I'm with everyone else - love this blog and check every day. I have a sensory, special needs boy also, so I can relate to a lot of your posts. Keep up the good work and don't do a RockStar Mommy on us!

KimAZ

"Die, die fu*king drawer I hate so much."
That's how long I have been here, and I absolutely love the notion of reading you as often as you want to post.
P.S. Still waiting for IKEA to change.

kelly

I'd love to read your writing more often! Keep your family private -- we can all understand that -- and just write whatever you want. Shoes! Lotion! Falling down! The Tire!

Leigh Ann

I'm lucky if I get to post twice a week, especially since I started a part time from home job in October. You would not believe (actually you probably would) how hard it has been for me to even squeeze in 15 hours a week, and that's with working a few hours in the evenings and weekends too.

(And I miss your posts too, but I'm always happy when I see one pop up in my reader.)

Leigh Ann

Also, I live in Austin, and it is indeed rad.

Kristen

Your blog is my little corner of mommy sanity on the internet, I'd love to see more posts from you!

Kate

You are intelligent, funny, sincere, interesting and well worth reading be it weekly daily or whenever the mood strikes you. I will keep checking in.

kelly.

but, truthfully, was 'i was a little bit taller' or 'i was a baller' one of your wishes? otherwise this list was wasted.

Holly W.

I never comment, b/c I'm generally an adoring admirer from afar who laughs silently at work while reading about your shenanigans. Which are somehow exactly the same and totally different from my life with job + two toddlers.

But a) I'm glad you are going more full swing. Because (MOST IMPORTANTLY) it makes you happy, so do it up. And because it makes me happy, since few blogs I read have the best mix of flexible mom + sarcasm + real life thrown together.

and b) it's 2006, bitch! is my new catchphrase.

and c) ditto to the baller and taller comment above :)

Jill

I can't stand twitter.

SarahB

Yay! So many of my bloggers blog less, and I love reading blogs. I am happy to read more from you.

Anna

Yay!

Also, I hate Twitter and seriously just don't get it.

bessa

Yay.

Cara

I've been a reader since maybe 2008? Your blog has gotten me through three jobs, a move and a baby and I feel like an Internet-land without you shouldn't exist. I'm so happy to see you still enjoy blogging and will happily continue to read whatever you write for as long as you will write it!

joaaanna

yaaaaaaaaaaay!

Lynn

Yes! Write more! (BTW, your feelings on Twitter are my feelings on Facebook. OMG, why hasn't it died already?)

Amy

Yes! And 'Twatter' can go bye-bye. Ugh.

Marie

Yay! More bloggings! I hear you on the writing exercise hate, though. I just finished grad school and my brain is about wrote out. They kept throwing out *one more thing* for us to write. Then at the end of my first job interview, they pulled out this piece of paper and gave me a writing prompt. I was mentally screaming.

Karen

I get it...look at the last post I made! ha! I worry that my little guy, who is not so little, will resent the things I post now...
It is easier when they are little.

However, ditto what everyone else said. yay...even if we get 3 posts a week!

Verbatim

Yay!!! You should go to more conferences! :-)

nicole

you can rest assured that if it amuses you, it will amuse us as well

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