Whoa. What happened there? Days turned into weeks and now it's February and even my family members are texting me now like, "Uh. You alive? Everything cool?"
I was in Florida this week for work, a long series of 17-hour days and no free time and the best part is that I get to do it AGAIN next week, to a different part of Florida.
This week was Orlando. I brought the kids some free maps of Legoland and Harry Potter World from my hotel as souvenirs, because I am an amazing parent who never leaves room in her suitcase to bring them back anything good and/or wildly overpriced.
(Except for YAAASSSSSSSS more Hyatt soaps. Although this week the maid figured out my hoarding game and cut me off after two soaps. Dammit.)
Within an hour of arriving at my hotel, I watched a guy trying to flirt with the concierge, who apparently is attending college for healthcare management. He wished her luck in a tough field, then walked away, but stopped to bellow "BECAUSE OBAMACARE" at me and my slightly startled (and non-eavesdropping) coworkers.
"BECAUSE OBAMACARE" became one of many team refrains for the week and our go-to excuse for everything. (An email didn't go out? Someone overslept? Cab driver got lost? BECAUSE OBAMACARE.)
We also developed a game where everyone was assigned a potential stripper name from every restaurant menu and/or strip mall store line-up. No one else found it as amusing as we did, oddly enough, although it was surprisingly easy to play once you got going. Summer Tomato Salad. Aged Cheddar Biscuits. Grouper Cheeks. Tijuana Flats. Rocco's Tacos. Supercuts.
(Grouper Cheeks and Tijuana Flats may or may not have had a little hotel room dance party on the last day, during which they may or may not have done a stunning rendition of Left Shark's moves from the Superbowl Halftime Show. They also may or may not have been punchy as hell, or simply still drunk from the night before.)
(This is what an official post-conference networking event for financial marketers looks like. It was fun. The drink tickets flowed like wine.)
And now I am home, and every child is sick or freshly recovering from a stomach bug. Noah came down with it late Wednesday night. Ike technically kicked things off last weekend before I left, recovered, and then either relapsed or caught a SECOND virus that manifested right as I arrived (frantically and directly from the airport, after my flight got delayed) to pick him up from school yesterday. His teacher was wearing latex gloves and handed me his clothing, triple-bagged.
Ezra was the last kid standing until about 6 p.m. last night, when I found him asleep on the couch.
"He'll be barfing within the hour," Jason predicted.
It was probably more like 20 minutes.
Everybody seems a little better this morning at least, while Jason and I wait out the incubation period in abject terror. He'll be on his own with the kids again all next week (he's amazing), and I'll be in Florida again from Monday through Thursday, so neither of us can afford to get sick.
After his bath last night Ike asked me to not got away again. Ouch.
One more trip, one more week. I'm sure everything will magically settle down and I'll achieve perfect work/life balance right after that. Yes. Definitely.