Wow. I am so frazzled right now I completely forgot to blogshame my amazing husband about this:
While he was away last week, I decided to be SuperNice SuperWife and organize his closet for him. Or maybe for me, and my sanity, because he kept saying he would do it but then wouldn't, even though I was CLEARLY staring at him hard enough to SET HIM ON FIRE.
I'd already tackled my closet and shelves, purging mercilessly along the way, in hopes that nosy prospective homebuyers would be wowed by my organizational skills and the illusion that OMG LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE WE SHALL NEVER EVER OUTGROW ALL THAT SPACE HOORAY!
Suckers. Here's all the crap I pulled out:
(Okay, so I know it's unwise to be publicly ragging on my house right before we attempt to sell it, but I feel like the closet thing is a trick we all do, we all know we all do it, and yet we all fall for it, every time. The previous homeowners did it. The homeowners of our next house will do it. I'm doing it right fucking now and I still wander around open houses randomly peeking into artfully purged closets and am like, OMG LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE!)
So anyway. Jason's closet was a damn mess. He acknowledged that, and in particular copped to a bad wire hanger habit. He gets all his work clothes dry cleaned on a pretty regular basis, and "rarely" remembers to return/recycle the hangers they come back on, he said.
"Rarely" turned out to be "never, not even once, in the damn near eight years we've lived here."
My husband, ladies and gentlemen. The Reverse Joan Crawford.
I filled an entire contractor-sized black garbage bag up exclusively with wire hangers. The best part was discovering -- at the VERY VERY BACK of his closet, a hanger return box from his dry cleaners, completely packed to the gills but never returned. It was just buried under more goddamn hangers.
OH THE IRONY.
Anyway. I left the purging of pre-weight-loss clothing to him (which of course he hasn't done, maybe I should go stare at him some more), but I think I did a damn nice job, considering the before.
Two closets down, approximately fourteen million more to go, because when we bought this place I went completely bonkers over the incredible number of closets it contains, because OMG LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE WE SHALL NEVER EVER OUTGROW ALL THAT SPACE HOORAY!