Tipsy Not Tired
January 14, 2016
So which three of y'all won Powerball? Can I borrow a couple mil? No? FIne. Guess I'll just have to keep blogging.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know full and well that Ike is not tired. Ike is never tired. Ike is now four-and-a-half years old and has not taken a proper afternoon nap since we got rid of the crib, and the mere suggestion that he might possibly be tired and would benefit from a nap is met with bansheed shrieks and protests because he is HASHTAG NOT TIRED.
Ten minutes later, everything is quiet because he's fallen dead asleep wherever he was at the time.
I've learned to just roll with it. At least there's carpet here?
A couple days ago he crawled on my lap and asked for a hug, mumbled something about not tired...and promptly dozed off.
Yesterday morning, he woke up very distressed and going on and on about drinking too much water. "I drank too much water," was all I could get from him, over and over again. "There's too much water in me!"
Then he laid down in his closet and went back to sleep.
Okay, so no school for that one, I decided. Maybe nausea or some other virus? Highly doubtful he was able to actually consume that much water from the tiny little cups we keep by their toothbrushes and whatever, this child rarely makes a lick of sense. I put him back in bed, moved a trash can in just to be safe, then left to do some work while he slept.
That didn't last long, as the minute he realized he was in his bed the protests started. He was hungry! He needed milk! Why was he in bed being deprived of basic sustenance, you monster, when he is so clearly NOT TIRED.
Fine. I set him up with some bland breakfast foods and milk, eyeing him like you're gonna make me regret this, aren't you, then went back upstairs.
Silence followed, which could mean only one thing...
"I not tired." he told me. "I just resting on the soft."
After his second catnap of the morning, he perked up. No vomiting, no fever, no complaints. He ate a big lunch and amused himself with toys the rest of the day until his brothers came home.
(He actually put on his coat and waited for them on the front steps, because he wanted to tell them about the Most Horrible Thing I Did To Him That Day, which was that I misplaced the ear thermometer and had to check his temperature using an oral thermometer, which: Dude. You don't even WANT to know about the third option, okay?)
I dropped him off at preschool this morning and didn't really know how to explain his absence. "I think he was just really tired?" I told his teacher.
Ike overheard me. "I not tired!" he protested. "I just had too much to drink!"
And then we all died laughing, because omg, the end.