Of Eyeballs and Autocorrect
February 22, 2016
I went to the eye doctor this morning. The good news is the zombie pinkeye virus is gone and didn't do any permanent damage to my eyeballs. The bad news is I still managed to flunk the vision test pretty damn spectacularly.
Combination of being naturally a little farsighted coupled with all the straining and squinting from the last couple months means real honest-to-God grown-up glasses are in my future . (Also, I'm just old.)
The possibly hilarious news is that my eyeballs were dilated during my appointment and I can't see anything close up at all and I am currently using the voice over feature on my phone to write this post. I have no idea if anything I'm saying is getting transcribed correctly, Hell I don't even know if I'm logged in to the right blog. So if this shows up on my about page...well I'll fix it in about six hours. Or not because I'm sensing this post might end up being a pretty good example of everything you need to know about me .
Also this is pushing the limits of "I write how I talk" to a really awkward degree as I'm sitting here at the dining room table by myself in an empty house, talking to my phone and realizing that wow I'm not that funny on the very first try. Or second. The key to my blogging success is not CAPS LOCK after all. It's the delete key.
So funny story for those of you who remember that sponsored post I did where I modeled all all the cute glasses: I went to get my prescription updated before I ordered the "winning" style (the third one I believe), and was told unequivocably that my vision was just fine and I didn't need prescription glasses. Just maybe a drugstore pair of readers and remembering to take a damn break from the computer screen every once in a while. Whomp whomp.
(Just squinted really hard and I'm delighted to see that at least whomp whomp transcribed correctly.)
Not so much this time. Oh well. And now I'm getting a headache just from trying to look at my phone to see what the hell words it thinks I'm saying so I'm going to stop and I don't know...spend the next few hours staring off at the middle distance.