Actual voicemail I received:
"Hello, this Nurse [Redacted] from the Health Room at [Redacted] Elementary school. I'm calling about Ezra, who was brought here earlier after getting hit in the head by a door, and he's fine he's fine he's fine, he's back in class, but um...I just...well, I'm just a little confused by some of the stuff he said while he was here and am worried that maybe he isn't so fine after all, so can you please call me as soon as possible?"
Actual conversation I had:
Nurse: Okay, so an adult accidentally swung a door open directly into Ezra's head and knocked him over. He came here for an ice pack and since the injury involved his head it's policy for me to ask a few questions to make sure there's no disorientation or confusion.
Me: Okay...this could go one of several different ways...
Nurse: He answered everything correctly, his name, how old he is, what grade he's in...until I asked him to name the people in his family.
Nurse: It all started out clear enough, Mom, Dad, Noah, then...Ike? Is that another brother?
Me: Yep, that's all correct.
Nurse: And then he started talking about Buh...Balloon? Bloon? And a...Bubby and Baby Bat? Who were also brothers and sisters but were all babies and all belonged to him? And Bloon would be in school but she's "home with the throw-ups?" And I don't really know, he just kept talking and talking about how Bubby is also Superman and Baby Bat is sleeping but it wasn't making a whole lot of sense, so now I'm little worried that he maybe got hit a little harder in the head than we thought.
Me: LOL HE'S FINE.
And that's how we got an official Health Room Incident Report that specifically mentions the existence and full proper names of one Fisher Price My First Bear and two Ugly Dolls.
(Bube's all, YOU OKAY, EZRA? HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?)