It's hard to believe we've been in the Yellow House for over a year. Especially since there are still boxes in the basement and several closets, and approximately 4,509.023 Yellow House-related projects we were totally going to do right away, and yet here we are. All the walls are still beige or brownish beige. I despise the ceiling fans with the force of a million ugly ceiling fans turned up to high. I still haven't replaced the super dark velvet sadness curtains in our bedroom. Framed art and photos sit propped against walls where I MIGHT want to hang them, but am still not emotionally ready to commit to a nail hole.
Other than that, the house is very lived in and homey, by which I mean cluttered and messy as fuck. Not like, gross messy (unless we're talking about the boys' bathroom but WE DON'T SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS), but just...kid messy. Five people who tend to set objects down and wander away from them and three pets who all have a lot of toys/scratching posts/pet beds messy. Small child who is currently obsessed with ripping up small pieces of paper and scattering them everywhere and a mother who is perpetually behind on laundry messy. THAT kind of messy.
The messes, however, do have a pattern to them. Each room tends to house a distinct kind of mess. And so, in honor of our belated one-year anniversary of the first time I wandered around this house, wondering what in the world I was going to put in all these different rooms, I'm going to give my past self a guide to Your New House and What All These Rooms Are Actually Used For:
(Also going to add the useless caveat that nobody will believe: But the house usually doesn't look THIS bad, but we've been traveling or been really busy for so many consecutive weekends now that the clutter/housework has gotten exponentially out of control. This weekend and next are almost exclusively dedicated to House Stuff, so please enjoy the most embarrassing "before" photos in the history of otherwise capable adults.)
THEN: A two-car garage!
NOW: A one-car garage and storage facility for like three weeks' worth of Amazon Fresh delivery totes that you will never remember to return.
THEN: First floor laundry and powder room!
NOW: Laundry Gauntlet of Doom
THEN: Two-story family room with exposed beams and fireplace!
NOW: Unfolded laundry depot, cat jungle gym.
NOW: First-ever disco-ball themed combination gym/drying rack room, with multiple boxes of wires serving as an in-home Radio Shack.
THEN: Fully-finished basement with built-in surround sound system!
NOW: Oversized Xbox hole with wall-to-wall Lego carpet.
THEN: Bonus fifth basement bedroom, perfect for home office!
NOW: I CAN"T FIND MY DESK.
THEN: Large, airy kitchen that admittedly needs updating!
NOW: Hahahaha you redid the kitchen all pretty that's so cute.
THEN: Walk-in pantry!
NOW: Hey you know all those ransacked convenience stores you see on The Walking Dead? That.
THEN: Dining room!
NOW: Kids' craft hole and crumb depository.
THEN: Formal living room with vaulted ceilings!
NOW: Animal kingdom and the perma-answer to Where Are All The Travel Mugs?
THEN: Bright, two-story entry foyer!
NOW: The beige-est first impression ever.
THEN: Kids' hallway with three bedrooms and full bath!
NOW: HONESTLY MORDOR FOR REAL.
THEN: Private, upper level master bedroom!
NOW: Room of much Pinterest ambition, but mostly just a poorly decorated Sleep Hole.
THEN: Master bath with two-person jacuzzi tub!
NOW: DON'T BOTHER MOM RIGHT NOW SHE'S BUSY.
(aka STILL the best room in the house.)