One Last Time
Spark and Fire

The Blogger Refuted

I...

I don't know what to say.

I'm shocked and disappointed and genuinely fearful in a way I've never been, post-election. My brain did indeed do an excellent job of protecting me from trauma and refused to see this possibility as something that could actually happen. Him? Not Her? Seriously, HIM??

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(This was a lot funnier like, five days ago.)

This morning I lay in the fetal position in bed, unable to do anything but stare blankly at a spot on the floor as it slowly sunk in that I was indeed awake, that this was real life, with the weight of everything that now hangs in the balance -- health care, the environment, the Supreme Court, reproductive rights, marriage equality, religious freedom, wars and walls and ignorance and sexism and xenophobia and Trump U trials and tax returns and four solid years of "oh Jesus fucking Christ, NOW WHAT?" news coverage -- crushing down on my chest.

I listened to my children sobbing over their cereal bowls downstairs and Jason's sad, resigned voice as he tried to reassure them that everything would be okay, words he'd clearly rehearsed but didn't necessarily believe yet. "He's a bad person!" Noah practically screamed. "He tells lies! He judges people on the color of their skin! We were supposed to get our first female president so WHAT HAPPENED?"

Jason, again, had a diplomatic answer prepared, despite being solidly in WTF JUST HAPPENED mode himself. Noah angrily said that if KIDS had been allowed to vote, they NEVER would have let this happen, like WOW. Great job, adults. Great, great fucking job. 

When Ezra returned from taking Beau for a walk, he claimed that Donald Trump was driving around the neighborhood, shouting at everybody he saw that he was the president now. Ez wants to be an author when he grows up; I suppose this was his first attempt at making up a horror story. I admit, it was a genuinely creepy visual. His brothers were scared to walk to the bus stop until I finally reassured them that it wasn't true. He's in New York. I know because I got up to check the news in the middle of the night to confirm that yes, he really fucking won, holy shit. 

And now I sit, still stunned, still not sure if I have another crying jag or anxiety attack left in me, or if I should just give myself over to a deadened numbness for awhile.

I realize I'm not writing in an echo chamber here, that some of the eyeballs reading this cried for joy last night and not sadness. I now fully realize that I clearly do not understand (AT ALL) how a large portion of this country works or thinks. It's very frightening and foreign to me, maybe in the same way that same portion fears refugees and illegal immigrants and Muslims and LGBTQ people and Black Lives Matter and everybody else who's been successfully cast as the driving-around-your-neighborhood villain this year. Maybe there's a chance for some empathy and healing here. Because everything I believed yesterday -- with every fiber of my being -- when I cast my vote remains true today:

We're stronger together. And love will always, always trump hate. 

Comments

Nicole P.

I'm definitely in the numb category now. I still feel physically sick to my stomach in a "this can't really be happening" kind of way. A friend's 7 year old son, who is born and raised American but whose mother is Albanian-born, asked his dad if he was going to have to leave the US and go live in Albania with grandparents now. Heart breaking that children have these thoughts now.

I hope that this starts a discussion on why the Electoral College needs to be abolished. We have the technology to handle a popular vote in a timely and accurate manner.

Suzy Q

I feel like I woke up in an alternate reality.

tonya

My ten year old said this as she left for the bus stop this morning: "Be an inspiration today". I'm trying to figure out how i raised a kid that said exactly what i needed to hear today. Love trumps hate. Be the change you wish to see in the world. All the sentiments you stated, is what I am feeling today.

Jeffiner

I was crying and holding my baby daughter this morning. Then out of the blue a friend who lives several states away and whom I rarely get to talk to texted me. She said "picture me, in dreads, on your table, singing "Every little thing...gonna be alright..."." I laughed, and started texting similar messages to all of my girlfriends. That's what gave me the energy to make it in to work this morning. Love does make us stronger.

Oonagh

I scrolled to the comments because I was actually hoping that there would be some comments from people outside of my echo chamber. I really need a Trump supporter to explain to me in sensible language why everything is going to be okay. All I saw on TV last night was the same "he says what we're all really thinking" stuff that has been terrifying me all along. Someone PLEASE help me understand why this isn't just the choice of the KKK and misogynists.

Jenny Pecht

Upon learning of Trump's victory, my 10-year-old daughter said, "I'm worried about my friends. They're mostly from other places." My poor kid is afraid that her classmates will be deported. All I could say was that Trump doesn't take office right away...and I reminded her about our government's system checks and balances, which they're studying in school (not that it does a lot of good with a Republican Congress). But what I was thinking was, "Your friends probably are screwed, as is our country."

Jenny

I feel ya, sister. So much disappointment and sadness today.

erin

In what can only be described as weird timing, I had to drive out to a store (for the retail company I work for) in rural Ohio very early yesterday morning. It was Trump signs the whole way there and the whole way back. It made me uneasy. Then, late, late last night, I realized just how much I don't understand these folks who live in more rural areas. I barely know how to categorize us... I don't want it to be "me" versus "them", but here I am, liberal Dem living in an urban, evolving, growing city (Pittsburgh) and there they are, people who live in rural, small towns in PA and OH. I didn't realize how completely and utterly I do not think like them. (My county voted blue last night. The surrounding counties did not.) We are really this different? THIS different? They can shrug and say "eh, he's not that bad," and brush away all of the utterly awful things he has said and done up to this point? I didn't know. I have often felt like I live in a bubble, but never more than I do at this moment. And then.... the people who are my neighbors who support Trump.... what is their thought process? Where exactly do we differ? I'm trying to make sense out of our differences, why is it that we think so differently? Anyway, I have no point, I just sort of started typing here... thanks for (hopefully) not minding and for providing a space to do so. Stronger together still and always. <3

Lori

I alternate between numb, angry, sobbing, and anxious. Really, my anxiety is so bad right now that I keep having to reassure myself that I am not, in fact, having a heart attack. Perhaps I should have delayed weaning off Lexapro until I knew the outcome of the election.

Cristin

I am genuinely anxious. Heart racing, hand wrenching anxiety. How did this happen? Who are these people?

Brooke

I cried last night. I looked at the NYT forecast and my stomach twisted up in knots and I realized that if I didn't start taking actual, deep breaths, I might hyperventilate for the first time in my life. I looked at my sleeping daughters feeling like this country had failed them. I cannot believe that our country chose to elect someone who has said the things he has said and made the promises he's made. I am a privileged, white, educated citizen of the United States of America, and I woke up this morning feeling afraid.

Jeffiner

At Oonagh:

My husband's cousin is a feminist, non-religious, educated woman with a daughter who lives in NYC. She's a very strong Trump supporter, because she has a lot, A LOT, of fears about terrorism. My husband's mother works in a high rise in Manhattan, and saw the planes hit the towers, and watched people die in the buildings. I personally don't believe Trump's crazy, racist, xenophobic plans will make us any safer, quite the opposite, really. But my husband's family never recovered from 9/11. Being scared for yourself and your family can blind you to a lot of other issues. Where we see isolationism, they see protection.

My husband is very glad we are spending Thanksgiving with my family in California this year.

LeighTX

I live in Texas, I know lots and lots of people who supported Trump, and I still don't understand what they are thinking. Thankfully I'd unfollowed enough of them on FB that I didn't see any gloating in my feed this morning.

I will share with you a portion of the text my husband (a pastor) sent this morning to the leaders of the mosque next door to our church, in the hope that it will give you a glimmer of hope:
"Please share this message with the precious ones in your Muslim community: we are your friends and will stand with you if anything negative were to ever unfold as a result of this election. We love because Jesus loved first. You are a special neighbor and we are in your corner. May all Americans pray mercy and wisdom over our country and its leaders. We cling to the promise of Psalm 103 and John 3:16, the promise of undeserved forgiveness. God is very much in charge, and as always He has the final say over His world. Peace over you and your family."

We can't do anything to change yesterday, but today we can love and love and love and love and love.

Jenny

I'm from rural Iowa originally (live in "urban" Iowa now). We voted for Obama twice. I can't explain what happened last night.

Searching for answers, though, and I think we will find it in the turnout. FAR fewer people voted for both of them than voted for Obama. I honestly think enough people didn't like Hillary and decided not to vote for either. I hope their protest was worth it.

Denise

I have waited all morning for your post. I went to bed with no doubt in my mind that I would wake up to an historic event. I did, but not the one I eagerly anticipated. As a woman who "chose" to have my very much wanted, but very medically fragile baby "ripped" from my womb at 16 weeks, I fear for women's rights. Living in Florida, I fear that my husband and I will fight an uphill battle to teach my impressionable 3 year old son about acceptance, diversity, and basic humanity. I have never been so affected by an election. I hope that through this we can all come together as Americans, as PEOPLE, and focus on building a country that fosters love, kindness, and growth.

Andrea

I cried this morning when I had to tell my daughters that he won. My oldest went to her room and grabbed her suitcase and said lets move. If only it was that easy. I ugly cried in the parking lot of Starbucks. I am ugly crying now.

Amy

I'm numb. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm disappointed. My sister and I are both liberally-minded, Independent women. How we came from two Republicans baffles me. How my parents, grandparents to my sons, can think they voted with a clear conscience makes me weep. Did they not think about the future of their grandkids beyond "we hate Hillary!"?? Is immediate gratification for "anyone but HER!!" so necessary that they couldn't think beyond it? I had to explain to my ten year old this morning that this country will likely continue down a path of hate and misogyny and racism, and my job now was to protect him from that, and continue to raise him to be tender-hearted and to stand up for his friends who are different. If I can keep up this very tough task for 4 years, my boys will be okay. Our jobs as moms (and dads) just increased in difficulty ten fold. Let's hang in there together.

Cheryl S.

This is me this morning -- I now fully realize that I clearly do not understand (AT ALL) how a large portion of this country works or thinks. It's very frightening and foreign to me, maybe in the same way that same portion fears refugees and illegal immigrants and Muslims and LGBTQ people and Black Lives Matter and everybody else who's been successfully cast as the driving-around-your-neighborhood villain this year.

My daughter was hysterical crying this morning (She's 11). I had to give the same "everything will be OK" speech. I just pray that Trump feels the weight where he is and truly tries to heal some of these issues.

Sue W

I have voted in every election since 19hunnertand76. Yes, I am ancient. I have never been this scared and uneasy of ANY election results. Until now. I know we have checks and balances that hopefully will keep him from going completely off the rails, but I am very afraid for the future of Merica. He is a bully and he cannot and will not have his way and the final say like he did as a corporate head. I just hope he doesn't piss off the wrong world leader and they nuke us off the face of the earth because of his bluster and buffonery.

Lindsay

Crying. Going to cry for a while. So true about not knowing or understanding at all what was going on with people in this country. No idea.

Dawn

I feel very much like I am going through the stages of grief. I haven't slept. My daughter had a nightmare, possibly caused by the tension and sadness and anger that was going through our home before bed, and I just stayed in her room all night feeling like I needed to protect her from whatever was coming. We live in Alaska and could not avoid the inevitable truth before our bedtime. I have never been so blindsided by an outcome. No part of me ever actually believed this could be the outcome. The only comfort is how not alone I feel in my grief. My long-distance friends are in a texting frenzy trying to comfort each other. I came to work today and walked into a room full of teachers (male and female, liberal and conservative) in tears. Your words and the comments here are a comfort as well.

Nameless

I'm weighing in as an "other" voice.

I did not vote for Trump. But I did not vote for Hillary. I am in the middle. I am fiscally conservative. I think good things came out of Obamacare, but I do not think the government should be in charge of it, or many other things. I am socially liberal. I don't like anti-whatever rhetoric any more than any good liberal. I don't really care if marijuana is legalized. There is no good political home for me or the MILLIONS of people who think like me. The major parties have gone so far to the extremes that those of us in the center are left wondering what the hell we should do. Personally, I voted my conscience. I could not vote for Hillary because I am tired of the policies of democrats. I would not vote for Trump because I think he's a disgusting human being. So I voted 3rd party, in the hopes of one day, before I die, having a legitimate 3rd party contender to vote for. But many, many people were told "if you vote 3rd party, you're throwing your vote away!", and they let that persuade them into voting for a candidate they probably don't completely stand behind, whether that candidate was Trump or Clinton.

But I think a good first step is realizing that those people in the "middle" of the country (or really, just anywhere that isn't a city) aren't necessarily fearing "refugees and illegal immigrants and Muslims and LGBTQ people and Black Lives Matter and everybody else". They just had to make a choice, like everyone else, and their priorities (taxes, healthcare, social issues, marriage, social security, whatever) may be different than yours. They're just trying to live their lives, the best they can. Don't let the vocal hate-spewing minority drown out the reasonable majority.

Amanda

This morning driving to work I broke down crying, not a gentle cry, but an ugly sobbing messy cry. My husband even commented that I am more upset about the election then I was 9/11. I can't formulate full thoughts because I just feel so hung over and enraged with my fellow Americans. I don't know how to describe the feeling of being absolutely gutted by this result. To think that a portrait of him will hang in the White House is utterly terrifying and completely disgusting. The only thing I can hope is that we wake the f**k up and realize that something has to change. Rural America wanted to spark a revolution and I think the might have done just that, just not as they hoped.

Stephanie

I can't stop crying. My husband alternates between very mad and very sad. Neither of us slept last night. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.

My 4 year old said to me, I'm so sorry you were so very sad last night. I hugged her and told her everything would be fine. My 7 year old, who is the sweetest thing ever, was deeply disappointed, but I also don't think she gets the severity of the situation.

I don't know what to do. But yes, outside my blue county in a very, very blue state, I clearly don't understand what others are thinking, but I know it has to do with fear. Unfounded fear, but it's hard to argue with a feeling.

Sue C

I am a Trump supporter. (Ya'll have fun with that.) I am not any of those things that Trump supporters are being described as. I don't hate anybody that I know of. I do know that Obamacare is literally bankrupting my husband and I. Literally. Trump was NEVER my first choice, but it feels like the only choice I had. I can't financially handle another four years of the same ol', same ol'. We are not rich by any stretch, I teach and my husband is retired due to his job being shifted "to China". I am not happy to see America dissed by overseas powers as it is now. There is more but this perhaps will do. The vast majority of people who voted for Trump are not the extremists they are painted to be.

Kris

I woke up and told my husband I am depressed and embarrassed. Then I said I don't want to talk about it. Then he reminded me that this country needs to take a good long look at itself and address the issues of "why so many people voted for Trump" (he voted for neither). I have spent the morning watching Netflix and shopping online (for stuff we actually need but online is better than in the store today). We will all soldier on because that is what we do.

Louise

I'm a green card holder with two American boy children (3 and 10 months). Yesterday I was so mad and anxious that I do not have a vote in this country for the sake of my boys. Today, I'm just so sad for them. My husband and I will do everything in our power to protect them and to teach them love trumps hate. The best (and perhaps only?) thing we can do now.

Name Withheld

I am a proud Trump Supporter. My children, ages 15, 13, 10 and 3 are as well. I guess you can go ahead and start to bash me. Before you do let me tell you this...

I am of upper middle class, yes I will give you that. However, my husband and I have never once inflicted our political views on our children. They formed them all on their own. We have raised our children to not look at a persons color, creed or race but what the person is. How they act. Are they a good person? Are they a good friend? I don't care if you are gay, straight, bi or like animals. Do you pay your taxes? Do you follow laws? Are you morally a good person and use good cuss words? Then you are cool in my book. Yes. I do believe in God. And I yes I am 100% against abortion, unless it is an extreme case.

Can you look me in the eye as another mother and say I am an asshole because I voted for Trump? Because the feelings you are feeling, I felt them when Obama was re-elected. Not to the degree you described, but I am a cold hearted Republican.

You have got remember there are worse places in this world. There are way more horrible things happening in this world. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I hope you can find some peace.

Trixie

I'm sorry you feel this way and I'm sorry your kids are all scared. You say that Trump trades on fear and divisiveness, but if that's true,what the heck did YOU tell your kids that made them so afraid? They didn't listen to the news or read blogs -- YOU told them that Trump was the big bad bogeyman. You created the monster in their head and now, of course, they are reacting to it. Did you explain to your kids that HRC was a liar and corrupt? That she sold out her country to enrich herself and her family? Bottom line: she didn't play fair. Are those the ideals that you want to instill in your kids? It's OK to be "extremely careless" with important information and lie as long as you promise to love everyone (except people who don't agree with you and then they are awful racist, idiotic, xenophobes, of course). Trump is flawed, no doubt -- he was not my first choice. However, if you are in the country legally he isn't going to round you up and deport you. But if you think that opening the border to anyone who wants to come in is a good idea I dare you to just leave all your doors unlocked. I care about jobs for my family -- the anemic growth rate of the last 8 years has basically guaranteed that an entire generation will be unemployed or underemployed. I care that my taxes are going up every year and HRC told me I should be GRATEFUL to pay even more under her administration. No thank you. I teach my kids that hard work is rewarded and EVERYONE should play by the rules. HRC brought this on herself. If HRC had won, today I would have done what I do every day: pull up my big girl panties, go to work and provide for my family. The best example we can set for our children is to show them that even in the face of disappointment we all just need to go on and do the best we can. Seriously, it will be OK.

Teri

Michael Moore had it exactly right in his prediction. I am from Iowa, live in an urban setting but have many friends and family in the rural areas and most of them are Trump supporters. They are not all racist and homophobic. What they are is sick of being forced to pay through the nose for insurance. They are fed up with being taxed again and again and again, and then once again after you're dead just for good measure. Have family that had to sell land/farms because they could not come up with the cash to pay the inheritance tax once a family member died, so couldn't keep the farm. They are tired of the US taking on refugees when we have homeless veterans here that need our help, and they don't see Muslim countries who are culturally more similar lifting a finger to help. They are tired of Hillary Clinton and what they consider to be corruption and collusion with the DNC and Washington politics as usual. So they all went out and voted to send a BIG message.
I asked the questions and actually listened to what my friends and family were saying.....I've had a feeling for a few months that Trump would win regardless of what the polls said.
Just my .02

Margaret

So, I typed out a very long/well thought out response on my phone and hit 'post' only to have it disappear. I'll keep this shorter.

Yes, I voted for Trump. I'm college-educated, the main breadwinner for my family, multi-lingual, suburb-living, wife and mother of two intelligent, beautiful young girls who lives in a very blue state (Maryland).

We as a country have been through a Civil War, reconstruction, World Wars, not to mention much more vitriolic campaigns (duels anyone?). We as a country will survive.

I think that most of the votes were for economic reasons. I handle finances for offices around the country and when I see bills for $5 or $10 for window cleaning, I realize just how lucky I am to live where I live and have the job I have. Because I realize that that $5 is not paying for a Starbucks mocha latte but for a lb. of beef to make hamburgers for their family meal.

I won't get into the reasons why I would never vote for Hilary, but I want to state that I don't hate her. I also know a lot of folks who voted for her. I don't hate them either. I don't even dislike them. They are my friends and even some family members! We have differing views of how this country should move forward but that's it.

I read your column and those of many of the comments and I am truly sad. I read:
"I now fully realize that I clearly do not understand (AT ALL) how a large portion of this country works or thinks. It's very frightening and foreign to me, maybe in the same way that same portion fears refugees and illegal immigrants and Muslims and LGBTQ people and Black Lives Matter "

Really? I don't fear these groups, but just because I don't have the 'proper' view of these groups, IOW, I don't beleive that all groups are 'entitled' to special treatment, I'm called 'deplorable' and a bigot. Commenters above decry 'rural' voters (code for economically disadvantaged/poor) and claim to not understand them. Maybe we should all look inside and see who is truly intolerant.

America is a flawed nation but we are also a resilient nation. One who used to respectfully disagree and not take differing views as personal affronts/assaults. When Trump says, "Make America Great Again," I hear, "let's listen to each other and bring back a time when people could disagree in an agreeable way."

AmyH

I have been crying all day, too. I'm truly perplexed by people who voted for a man who admitted to not paying taxes, admitted to sexual assault, admitted to stiffing blue collar workers who provided services at his hotels, is on wife number 3 and admitted to affairs in all his previous marriages, admitted to not being religious and on and on. These aren't allegations--he has (in some cases proudly) admitted each of those things and more. I'm a Christian college educated upper middle class suburban working mom and I get that neither candidate was perfect. But I think those that voted for Trump are fooling themselves if they think he'll change things for the better. I pray for us all but I especially pray for the 20 million who will lose their insurance, LGBT friends, muslims, minorities and women.

sally

TODAY is the day to start writing to your elected officials and demanding adherence to the Christian principles of feeding the hungry, healing the sick and caring for the helpless. Today. PS: suggesting the Clinton Foundations send money to Planned parenthood is also timely.

AmandaG

I think it's ridiculous that people who admitted to supporting Trump start off by saying they can't wait for the hate to come their way. People are seemingly wanting to hear from them as to why they voted such and you think you'll be condemned? As long as you don't do it, I don't think others will around

    here
. Now, in other places... probably not so much. I am surprised that Trump's speech didn't go a different direction. I am kind of hoping he'll say that all he wanted to do was prove that he could win and then declare that he's not taking the office and starts his channel. Bye, felicia! But, I'm guessing that's not gonna happen.

Lauren A

I'm with Garisson Keillor on this. I fought hard. I am liberal. And I lost. The country is now in conservative hands- let's talk in 2 years and see what you make of it. We are all watching.

Jeffiner

What part of Trump's economic policy makes you think he'll create decent-wage jobs? His history of bankrupt businesses, or his history of outsourcing his own businesses overseas?

What part of Trump's healthcare plan makes you think you'll be able to afford your medical bills? The HSAs?

You disagree with abortion? A woman in Ireland last year died when she was denied a medically necessary abortion for a non-viable fetus because it was her third trimester.

A coworker is gay and married her wife last year. She's now afraid their marriage will be invalidated and her wife will lose health insurance. How is marriage and health insurance "special treatment?"

Muddy

I'm a (deeply) progressive voter in a (deeply) red state. My two Trump-supporting office-mates were practically ready to give me hugs this morning because, against all odds and because we disagree about All The Things, we all have pretty robust friendships. And we have regular, respectful political conversations.

I think this happened because that - right there - is RARE AF. More common are people who live a few miles apart, who share roads and stores and even parents sometimes, who can't respect each other and work together and listen to each other. It's amazing how polarized we've become, and how rare respectful cross-aisle discussion is.

Even your Trump commenters say it: They think they're going to be attacked. Which - shocker - they haven't been. We're all just people.

This morning I told my coworkers I was afraid. And they told me that it'd be okay. I'm not quite convinced. I know that Trump appeared to be the best of the options available for a lot of people, especially people who feel like they're drowning. But I think he's going to be a disaster for those same people, while I think that Clinton would have been helpful. To everyone, but especially the Americans on the cusp.

You think ObamaCare made insurance expensive? Try being uninsured (like my mom was). You're deeply pro-life? I think that access to birth control and responsible sex ed reduces abortions, and I think that "safe, legal, and rare" is a laudable goal, and a worthy common ground. You're worried about terrorism? How about homegrown terrorism, with an empowered alt-right, an uptick in racial tensions, and an unfettered gun lobby?

But that's not what scares me the most deeply: I'm worried about all-out war, because I think that this president will be impulsive and thoughtless. I'm worried about catastrophic climate change, for my children and grandchildren, because scientists have overwhelmingly laid out its risks and recommended swift action. I'm worried about economic collapse. And I'm sad for the millions of Americans who will face increased racial pressure, no matter how their parents or grandparents or great great great great grandparents immigrated.

I can acknowledge the legitimate economic concerns and a legitimately (and obviously) struggling midwest and south. I'm just way more worried about...my stuff. So I guess I'm saying...I get it. But also, I don't get it at all.

(And now is when I assume Trump supporters will mock ME with "pfffft All Out War? Not gonna happen! Climate change is imaginary!" Which would be great. I'd love to be wrong on that.)

BTW, I'm also ticked that we've had ANOTHER popular/electoral split. YAY system.

Kristen

Now what? I am starting here: http://jezebel.com/a-list-of-pro-women-pro-immigrant-pro-earth-anti-big-1788752078

Joanna

I am physically ill. I have to force myself to eat because I'm pregnant.

To the Trump voters above, I just want to say that this isn't just sour grapes that my team lost. If Jeb Bush won I would be upset but ready to move forward. Imagine if someone won who had campaigned with a message that white people are dangerous, that Christians can't be trusted, that your marriage and family are a sham - can you understand why real populations of this country that were targeted by Trump feel genuinely unsafe, unwelcome, and invisible? No one is asking for special treatment - just equality and compassion. It's not just different priorities to give someone a pass who is openly hateful towards my neighbors and friends.

Holly

I'm numb and sad. I'm about to have a baby boy in 4 days and I look at my almost 3 year old girl and just want to cry more. I don't understand how such a horrible man became the nominee. I don't understand how people could elect such hate in a president/v.p. combo. I keep reading things about what we need to do, to keep fighting for equality, but I'm so tired. Every step forward seems to result in 4 steps back. I'm tried that I have to keep fighting so women aren't second class citizens, that they can have control over their own bodies. I'm tired of making arguments that women deserve equal pay. I'm tried that someone as intellegent as Hillary can lose because of a bunch of bs while a man can get away with endless things that would have killed her campaign immediately, I'm tired of the double standard. I can't believe she won the popular vote, but will not be elected. How has that happened twice in my lifetime? Im just so tired. Hopefully in a few days I'll shake it off and get back to fighting but this was a big blow in a long lifetime of them. It was helpful reading through some other readers comments here and your post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts when you know they are not shared by all your readers.

Karen

I'm thankful to everyone here who has shared the passions and reasons behind their choices in this election. I may not agree with the outcome but I understand my sisters better than I did this morning. Let's keep talking.

Brittany

So you want your boys to look up to a woman that enables her husband's sexual indulgences- currently doing this at the Clinton Library. A woman that goes after her husband's accusers? Yes, what exactly did you tell your sons to unhinge them. You should have kept your fears to yourself. Not to mention the courrption at the State Department & the Foundation.

Phyllis

Oh, get over it. Trump is going to be a great president. Hillary would have sucked.

Ann

You're all of those things, but you're not alone.

To the Trump supporters - no one seems to be jumping to attack you, and that's as it should be. I'm with you on a lot of things, but don't forget he spent much of his campaign targeting the vulnerable for support from the very bottom of society. Do you think the feelings he stirred up will just go away? Do you see that many of those he targeted are not just being sore losers, they're having legit flashbacks to bad things that have been done to them or their ancestors? I bet if you go far enough on your family tree, you'll find those who came here to escape religious oppression, mobs, repressions, poverty... maybe for your family, the memory just isn't as fresh as for those who voted against Trump.
If you really don't stand for any of that, please stand and speak up if the monster Trump has been feeding comes for your friends or neighbors.

Brandi

It makes me sad that so many kids are worried about Trump. Kids see through bullshit. They know he's a con man and a bad person. I'm worried for our country and the future of those who are vunerable here. But I know your boys will be ok Amy because you and Jason are good, loving parents who will make them feel safe again. I wish we all had that because this is one of those times where being an adult and facing these huge, scary things that are out of our hands is so damn hard.

LeighTX: Your husband's message is beautiful, thank you for sharing it. I have been telling myself repeatedly since last night that God is in control and I just have to trust him and that we'll make it through this we way we did WWII, the Depression, etc. Thank you for the reminder.

Dawn

Thank God the wicked witch did not win. Trump has said some bad things. Hillary has DONE some EVIL things. I voted for Trump.

Phyllis

You go Dawn. I voted for Trump, too. Hillary IS evil. As is Bill.

Terrsa

The hypocrisy of Hilary supporters during this entire process has amazed me. When children are told people,are,liars,etc...they mirror their parents. Not judging as we are all guilty. Trump is not going to go after the LGBT Community and will not seperate children from their parents. This is all rhetoric from the media and other sources. Our children need to hear how we can all work together. I hear a lot more hate, in my own personal experience, from Hilary supporters than I ever did from Trump supporters. It takes cognitive dissonance to claim one candidate is without fault and the other is a racist, liar.

Michelle

I tried my best to console my 8 year old daughter this morning before heading into work to teach elementary students in a very special ed setting. My heart broke even more as I looked at these sweet students, mostly kids of color who are children of immigrants, and tried my best not to sob. I'm not in denial, just disbelief. How can this be my country? What have we done?

Dawn

Thank you, Phyllis. Look at what Hillary has done... but Trump is a bad person?!?

Kelsey

Being at work has been horrible today. I work in an office filled with Trump supporters, and I am so disturbed by the loud conversations I've overheard today. I wore my pants suit to work today (in a 'business-casual, heavy on the casual' office) because the outcome of this election is complete horse shit. I've held my tongue at work today in the interest of self-preservation, but it has not been easy. I just want to go home.

Maggie

Shedding tears in New Zealand in solidarity with my American blogging sisters. Kia Kaha!

JennyMooMeow

I'm not a Republican, I'm not a Democrat. I'm somewhere solidly in the middle. I'm college-educated white woman who is pro-choice, an LGBTQIA+ ally, and all that Dem-sounding stuff, but I have a really conservative streak when it comes to the budget. And I absolutely can't stand Hillary.

I'm quite pleased that we as a country are getting a chance to change direction with Trump. I like his tax plan. I'm not a fan of his Wall, but I figure something has to give and that won't come to reality. I have friends who are pretty much broke thanks to Obamacare, so we're all anxious and optimistic that health insurance will change for the better.

I know a lot of people with different opinions think Trump as a human is terrible and just can't see the other perspective. I don't think I can explain anything well enough in a comment box to make sense to any of you. I don't know any Trump supporters who are openly gloating about his win. It was honestly pretty sickening to watch the CBS media coverage last night and how all the journalists were obviously disgusted with him. They couldn't say his name without saying it like a dirty word.

LC

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/09/heres-why-we-grieve-today/ This resonated with me.

He shares how my heart feels today when he says "We’re not angry that our candidate lost. We’re angry because our candidate’s losing means this country will be less safe, less kind, and less available to a huge segment of its population, and that’s just the truth.

Those who have always felt vulnerable are now left more so. Those whose voices have been silenced will be further quieted. Those who always felt marginalized will be pushed further to the periphery. Those who feared they were seen as inferior now have confirmation in actual percentages."

Heart: broken.

Abby

I've loved finding a few rare posts today that seek to understand how this happened, what the Republican Party was thinking that led to Trump being elected. I think this is actually constructive and will help each side understand each other better. I am a republican(ish), but I voted for Clinton. Every single serious policy that Trump outlined would have benefited my family a little more than Clinton's, but I just couldn't with that guy. However! This morning, while disappointed in the outcome, I am not angry because I live in a state that will be red until hell actually freezes over, and Clinton supporters were few and far between. So I have a large group of friends who voted Trump that I've been able to talk to about this election for months, and hear where they're coming from. I can tell you that not a single one condones or agreed with the outrageous things he's said (the wall, grabbing pussy, lock her up, Mexican rapists, etc). They ALL denounced them, flat out. And they all did their research and chose him for different reasons despite his vitriol. One friend's husband is special forces in the military (this is a military town), and after careful consideration they both decided that for his specific profession and at this specific time in history, Clinton would be dangerous for him (I do not remember the reasons she cited, this was months ago). As in, they felt her husbands literal life would be in more danger. Another friend owns a small business that supports her family, and she chose Trump because she felt more confident in what he would do for small businesses like hers. Another friend has a child with serious, lifelong medical issues that is seriously about to bankrupt their family, because of Obamacare. They are potentially looking at foreclosure, bankruptcy, or a combination of the two. Their savings has been depleted to give their son the care he needs and also still keep a roof over their head and care for their other children. So imagine you are in their shoes, and a candidate for the presidency is a bigot, a hateful spiteful man....but he may literally save your family from drowning in medical bills and possibly ending up homeless because of insurance premiums. I cannot fault my friends for that, I just can't. ALL of them do not want to see gay marriage abolished or immigrants deported, but when things get bad enough you vote your own interests. I think it's helpful in understanding the way the election turned out not to ask "Why did this happen?" and instead ask "How bad must things be for middle America that this is who they chose?" It has helped me to have compassion and to understand that while yes, there is a repulsive section of Trump voters who LIKE the hateful things he says, a very very large portion of them have just been dragged through the wringer and spit out wet by the last 8 years and they were just clinging to the best of two bad options, in their minds.

mari

Echo here.

Kim

My son's junior high participated in a nationwide mock election. Results were emailed today. Hilary had 50% of the vote and Trump had 31% the rest were independent or abstain. This was 500,000 11-14 year olds voting. If they knew better WTF were the adults in this country thinking. I.can't.even.

Sue C

Abby, you said it so well. We have a son in law with a small oil related business. Oil is an up and down business so he saved what he thought was plenty of money so he could support his employees through the downturn this last year. Turns out he did not account for taxes correctly and should have spent more on equipment. He ended up paying an extra $200,00 in taxes. He had to lay off people. Would that money have been used better to support those people? I think so. He voted for Trump.

amanda

My husband has been unemployed or underemployed for two years. We got to the point where my children worried about whether we had enough food (we didn't, so I ate less) The down turn in his industry is directly related to the policies of President Obama. Our insurance is increasing 25% in January and I don't know where the money is coming from. I know that no one really wants to hear the struggles of formerly upper middle class folks, we've been ignored and told to suck it up for awhile. Here's your result. Save the fetal positions and hysterical crying for days when you don't have enough food, work, or have no prospects of work. Why don't you work on making your corner of the world better?

Becky

I am: Christian. Rural. Fly-over. Heartbroken. Shocked. Afraid. Frustrated.

liz

There were a few Trump supporters before me who covered some of my points so I don't want to repeat, but I want to chime in on Obamacare. I took early retirement (hubby is disabled now) which means we have to carry individual insurance. In 2015 we moved to a new state to be by our youngest child in college. There were several plans to choose from. Last year my company still offered a plan, and even though it was pricier, had higher deductibles and less coverage it was still ok. But for 2017 I have no options here. There is one horrible plan at a huge increase, and none of the doctors or hospitals I would want to visit are covered. Since I was a teacher but not in this state, I probably can't find a job in the next month, so we will have to move again. So much for keeping your doctor and your plan. Pffft.

I went through what you are going through now back in 2008 when BHO won. I was pulling for him in the primaries because I didn't want Hillary to get the nomination, but I couldn't believe we elected such an inexperienced community organizer with heavy socialist leanings And then in 2012 I couldn't believe it but he won again!
But there was serious shock and disbelief when Bill Clinton walked away with it in 1992 - with only 43% of the popular vote, no thanks to 3rd party Ross Perot who split the Republican vote. This Reagan girl hung on to GHW Bush's first term as a meager continuation of the Gipper's presidency and felt robbed when Clinton (via Perot) denied him that second term. BUT I was mostly dismayed by Clinton's election because I had grown to really despise Hillary Clinton during that campaign. While he came across accurately as a ladies' man and overall dishonest good ol' boy, she was sharp tongued and completely and totally alienated me for life with the way she diminished women like me. I was a young stay-at-home mom (by choice, I have a master's degree plus and had a great career) with two young children. I felt betrayed when she said she had better things to do than "bake cookies," and turned up her nose at being a "Stand by her man" kind of gal. I grew to hate her more as she blatantly lied about things like her husband's many dalliances (and alleged rapes) and "the vast right wing conspiracy" when a certain deposit on a certain dress finally showed her true colors.
To me it was good riddance, none-too-soon when the Clinton's finally moved out of the White House and I would have voted for ANYBODY to keep them from getting back in there. Talk about 4 years of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, FBI investigations, corruption, collusion, pay-for-play, special interests...she would have brought so much baggage with her, how would she have managed to be a leader?
And speaking of that, what had she ever done to qualify her for the job? Benghazi? The birth of ISIS? Lying to the FBI? The cavalier handling of classified documents? Or maybe it was that rosy disposition that her former Secret Service agents talked about? Was it calling young black men "superpredators?" OR maybe it was the deft way she defended a guilty pedophile who brutally raped a 12 year-old girl (Kathy Shelton) and then laughed about it and bragged about the way he beat the lie detector test.
I am getting sick just rehashing all of this. I can't believe that there are so many people out there who could actually vote for her. So there you go. A glimpse into the mind of one of the rest of us.

I believe that Donald Trump is a good man who loves America, and deeply cares about people. Back in 1986 when he refurbished the Wollman Rink in Central Park I was living in New York, there was such a groundswell of respect and admiration for him then. I thought if he ever ran for President he would do a fantastic job - I am glad to see he finally got around to it. Nobody is perfect and I will leave you with one thought... at least with Donald Trump, you know what you are getting. He speaks his mind and doesn't pander to anyone. He's a problem solver and he is results oriented. I am willing to bet that America 4 years from now will be a much better place than it is now. Maybe it isn't so bad in your cute little town in your cute little state, but things aren't so great everywhere in our fair land.

A little trip down memory lane:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EGranwN_uk&ab_channel=psyon1x
http://qz.com/762881/the-blatantly-sexist-cookie-bake-off-that-has-haunted-hillary-clinton-for-two-decades-is-back/

Christy

Sheesh. Reading all the comments from Trump supporters....Sigh. Some stereotypes are truly earned. Nutty conspiracy theories? Check. Irrational hatred for Hillary? Check. Lack of knowledge about the issues co-mingled with Sean Hannity talking points? Check. I had to chuckle at the women who keep bringing up the infidelities of Hillary's husband and just completely look the other way at Trump's truly horrifying behavior around women. Ya do know that it's kinda weird to keep beating up on Hillary about Bill when Trump is just as bad as him?? Such an odd disconnect. If you support Trump, you have FOREVER ceded the personal character issue. (Evangelicals, I'm looking at you.) You cannot tell me with a straight face that Donald Trump is a good, decent man. He clearly is not. I did not vote for Mitt Romney, but oh what I wouldn't give to have him replace Trump! Now THERE was a good, decent Republican.
I grieve for the fact that the country of George Washington. Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln will now have to teach their children about "I just grab 'em by the pussy" Donald Trump...assuming he doesn't start a nuclear war and destroy us all in the next four years.

J.

Please Amy don't let the comments about your mothering abilities get to you. If your children do not like Trump and what he says they may get that feeling from his direct quotes. Perhaps others shield their children from his vitriol. Although it's pretty tough to shield one from it since it is pretty unapologetic and consistent. I feel exactly the same. At least you live around others who feel the same. When you are a blueberry in a cherry pie it's hard to soilder on or have much hope.

A

Hi Amy, I am a conservative leaning independent here. And a woman. And I didn't vote for Hillary because I did not feel she was the right woman for the job. I don't support open borders and I am really upset that the company I work for, which used to offer great benefits, has had to cut them back in order to avoid the "Cadillac tax" so now my premiums are going up and my coverage is going down and my deductible and out of pocket expenses are also going up quite a bit. I'm ticked off that democrats found out the DNC colluded to keep Bernie Sanders off the ticket and the same people implicated worked for Hillary's campaign. I'm upset that people helped her cheat before the debates by sneaking her questions beforehand. And I'm dismayed that people are protesting and causing damage because their side lost this one.....when Obama was elected I wasn't thrilled, but I had to get up the next day and go to work the same as any other day. So hearing people say they're in a fetal position in crying jags? I think it's a huge over reaction and things aren't going to be as bad as you think. As said in a comment above, anyone who is dismayed or anxious or upset-- work on making your corner of the world a better place and please stop putting down everyone who thinks differently than you do. They just see things in a different way, that's all.

Tanya

I thought i would share a little bit about why I think Trump won.
I am a Hillary supporter. Mostly because I thought she could have done the job right, and it would be great to have a female president. My Mom voted for Johnson, but my Dad voted for Trump. His reasoning was he would rather have the fool in charge then the sociopath. He thought that Trump would be most likely be blocked on a lot of stuff by Congress. Dad said Trump was so incompetent that he shouldn't be able to do too much damage while in office. I think Dad has too much faith in the common sense of our politicians. If they had any sense at all he never would have even been a candidate. The email thing damaged Hillary's chances. I heard more than a couple people say they wouldn't vote for someone who was so careless.
I'm sure there are other factors, but this is what comes to mind when I try to reason out how the imbecile won.

Katie H.

I can understand the fear. I can understand the anxiety. I can understand, but I don't understand. I voted AGAINST Hillary, not for Trump. I know... semantics. But the truth is, I didn't feel either one was a good choice. Having said that, I live in a country where I have the privilege of voting, so I did. I would have voted Libertarian if I thought it was worth anything, but it wasn't. Trump is NO WORSE than Hillary. If you think differently, that's fine, but please don't tell me you think Hillary's ethics are any better than Trump's. She lied, she purposely let people DIE, she has been behind scandals that make Trump look like an angel. She has a personal life that includes allowing her husband to be a philanderer and a cheater. And yet, are these the issues that matter? I think if you pull back the curtain on any politician you are going to find some super nasty funk that you wish you never knew. It's politics for God's sake.

As for the kids, I agree with other posters here; they only know what they believe from what they've been taught. It's like religion. Personally, I don't engage my 11 year old in propaganda for any religion, any political viewpoint. We discuss what's out there, what each side thinks, what each has to offer; good and bad. I allow her to form her own opinion and speak intelligently about the others so that she can understand and still be respectful when she disagrees. THAT's what needs to happen now. We need to realize we are ALL AMERICANS and like or or hate it, he's our President.

I heard someone say: "Hoping Trump fails is like hoping the pilot of the airplane you're on crashes it." I honestly hope you guys find peace about all of this and ride it out together.

Katie H.

P.S. Abby - very well said!!! It's like we didn't have a choice but to not keep what we had so we don't drown. Thank you!

Judy

I'm in super blue Portland in a precinct that was Bernie all the way in the D primary. Tuesday night was tough. Yesterday was a day of mourning. But one glimmer perspective from my French neighbor heartens me. He is a permanent resident now, but didn't get to vote yesterday. He said, after I apologized to France through him on behalf of all of our citizens, that at least we know what we're getting into. He said that Europe was caught unaware with Bush II and that the subsequent invasion into Iraq has led to Europe's worst tumult with terrorism. But here, he said, over 50% of Americans and 100% of the world is aware of how dangerous he can be, and as such, he will be controlled more.

erin

What Christy said! I was so curious about the differences between Hillary voters and Trump voters and what I have learned in this conversation is that we have one really big thing in common: we see what we want to see! I absolutely did not see that 50% of this country does not see that Donald Trump is NOT a good, decent man. My mom spent a hour yesterday trying to convince me that he's a good, decent man and I am blown away by this. We see what we want to see, believe what we want to believe.

I no longer think the division in our country can be healed. We are two separate countries living in the same place and I have no idea how we move forward in a way that is satisfactory to all. With that being said, I feel more determined today than I ever have to speak up and speak out. Love really is the only truth. Hope you're doing ok, Amy. <3

Teri

There is an interesting post on the front page of Reddit today that helps explain why so many who lean liberal were caught off guard by this.....

"the liberals were outraged with trump...they expressed their anger in cyberspace, so it had no effect..the algorithms made sure they only spoke to people who already agreed" (trailer) from Adam Curtis's Hypernormalisation (2016)

I think it's correct. The bubble is real.

Kristen

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/

Try that. It seems to contain almost every reason that I have heard for why the people around me voted Trump.

Cindy

I have been following your blog for a year or so. I have come to care deeply abour you and your beautiful family. I love this entry and agree with all of it.....my brain sounds like noah. Anyway, somehow, someway, love will trump hate.

Lauren A

So everyone who blames Hillary for Benghazi is just as equally irate at Condoleezza Rice for 9/11... right? RIGHT?! No? Then I don't want to hear it because it's hypocritically myopic. Also- show of hands here (because the statistics is 30-70% of marriages suffer infidelity so that means 21-49 of the commenters here have faced this in their lives): who here speaks well of the women your husband cheated with? Y'all are on good terms, right? That's what I thought.

michelle b

Also sobbing. Love will trump hate eventually. After we're done mourning, we'll get to work.

jennifer

REGROUP. RETHINK. RISE UP. I too am sad and scared that Donald Trump will be the leader of the Free World starting in January. But I have to believe that Congress won't let him destroy Women's Rights and Civil Liberties. Yes, it's Republican controlled, but they'd like to keep their jobs. Many of them will be up for re-election in 2 years. Pay attention because we need to do more than just open our eyes/ears every 4 years. It will be interesting to see if while "draining the swamp" DJT surrounds himself with life-long establishment politicians like Rudy and Newt. More people voted for Hillary than Donald. Hell more people voted for both McCain and Romney than Donald. But this is where we are. To the people who have dragged their feet and covered their ears for 8 years because they couldn't stand Obama, don't tell me I need to be reasonable and fall in line. And to those who have mentioned financial struggles, I truly do hope that Trump helps you, but I just don't see it happening. For the record, I live in Indiana. Donald might be nuts, but Mike Pence is calculated and unwavering in his desire to use the Bible to legislate. His "I'm a christian, conservative, republican in that order" line is no BS. WELP. I was typing this stream of consciousness to make myself feel better, but pretty sure I feel worse!

michelle b

Okay, had to come back. Trump supporters, please know that this reaction isn't because he's a Republican. Truly. If Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio had won, I'd be disappointed, but not distraught. I believe Bush, Rubio, and many, many other Republicans to be decent, competent, experienced, etc. I don't agree with their policy ideas for improving our country, but I don't see them as dangerous. I see Trump as indecent, incompetent, inexperienced, and dangerous. This is why I'm having so much anxiety.
I hear your concerns and truly hope things can be better. I want to find a way for ALL Americans to have affordable health coverage. The ACA has greatly benefited some and harmed others. Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater - instead of scrapping it all together, let's find a way to fix it. Let's work together, please.

Jane

For what it is worth, I did not tell my children that Trump was a bad man, my oldest watches TV, sees what he says and made his own conclusion. He has a friend with two Moms that is terrified they won't be allowed to be married anymore. I did not tell him about Trump's incredibly sexist attitude and actions. I did not tell him about the fact that our President-elect made fun of a person that was different, disabled. Because I don't want him to be terrified even more than he is.
I understand that people are frustrated with Obamacare, but in my situation, my Type 1 diabetic husband was UNABLE TO GET INSURANCE AT ALL while I was a contractor. This meant we were spending over 1500 a month on insulin, test strips, syringes. If he had to go to the doctor, forget it, it just couldn't happen. I was SO, SO grateful to be able to get insurance for him so that we could afford to buy the things he needs to simply LIVE. While I certainly understand that insurance is expensive, you must remember that at least you have access to it. Without an option like this, anyone with a pre existing condition is unable to get insurance that is not in a group policy.

I am still very, very angry by all of this, and I know that should be able to try and figure out what is going on in our nation to allow this person to come into power (even though he did NOT receive the most votes). Right now, however, I just can't.
I hope that I am wrong, and that he really implements something that is going to solve everyone's problems, but my gut tells me that they just elected Archie Bunker. And we don't have the son in law to keep him in control.

Grace

It really does make me feel a little better to read this post and all of the comments and know that I am not alone in feeling super depressed and fearful after Tuesday night. Thank you Amy, and everyone.

Leigh

I love this blog and your boys..... I have read for a long time! I have two boys and I live in a totally different part of the US... I can agree to disagree without getting weepy or mad. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that in no way makes me angry. I just wanted to share something I saw that reflects exactly how I feel about the election:

Despite what you will hear in the media, the silent majority in America are not hate filled racists, misogynists, bigots, or homophobes. They are good, patriotic, hard-working, God-fearing, normal people, who are sick and tired of being called those names by elites, celebrities, and the media. They are sick and tired of having a progressive liberal agenda shoved down their throat every waking second, and being told that they are bad people if they don't like it. They are sick and tired of the rising tide of cultural Marxism. They have been mocked, ridiculed, and slapped in face for nothing more than holding a different world view than some. So, last night they hit the reset button. That, to me, is what this election was all about.

We live in a country where this is allowed to happen..... that is why we live here :)

Meredith

First off....no matter what Trump replaces the ACA with, healthcare will continue to get more expensive because it is a FOR PROFIT INDUSTRY in this country! Until people quit believing the "Universal Healthcare is Socialism" bullshit and join every other industrialized nation on the face of the earth....it will continue to rise in price. Because it can. Cuba has a longer life expectancy than the USA for Christ's sake.

I voted for Hillary. I'm in my mid 40s, no children, and a member of the "working wealthy" level of the American Public. I'm sad he got elected but it won't affect me much. And my husband and I will get a nice tax break next year. Who won't get one? Poor people. My husband is a Teamster and gets great medical benefits, again any changes won't affect me. When Trump replaces the ACA, he will kick 25 million people off of their healthcare and GUESS what he has proposed offering as a fair trade? A Health Savings Account! Haha! Sorry you don't have medical insurance anymore, but here is a tax free savings account for you to save up for your future health care needs! What's that? You don't have any money to put in that account? Sorry for your luck. Most affected? The working poor. Ship out illegal immigrants? Sure! Hey, wait, all my fruit, vegetables, meat and poultry just tripled in price? Most affected? Working poor! Ditto with trade embargos.....$200 jumbo flat screen at walmart? Now $2,000.

What I'm getting at is that it will be interesting to watch the horrific dawning realization of all these 'white rural voters', that he isn't going to help anybody on the bottom end of the income spectrum. No wall? No new steel mills being built in OH and PA???? They just handed the county over to a billionaire that will help out other rich people, not any poor people, who he views as lazy. Hey rural voters, why so easy to convince you to vote against your own self interest every.single.time??

Rachael McGee

I live in Indiana and voted for Hillary. I know lots of people that did not. While it is difficult to comprehend how we got to where we are today, we can use the events of the past week to look within ourselves and attempt to build bridges, not walls. While anger, disbelief and fear over the election results are all emotions that I have felt, I now realize that their are also people who felt the same reactions on election night in 2008 & 2012. We have to start having civil conversations again. Actual policy debate and not shouting matches. Actually listening to people with views that differ for your own, and while not agreeing with them, still respecting them. Richard Lugar was a senator from my state for 36 years. While I don't agree with all his policies. I agree with everything he said in an interview done at Franklin college in October in which he discussed how divided our nation has become. "A fascinating Washington Post opinion poll of residents of Virginia, conducted a month ago, found that 60 percent of respondents who planned to vote for Hillary Clinton did not know of a single family member or close friend who planned to vote for Donald Trump. Similarly, 54 percent of Trump voters did not have a family member or close friend who planned to vote for Clinton. This cultural disconnect is all the more notable in that Virginia is considered a purple swing state that can go either direction in a presidential election. So even as the state itself runs close to 50-50 in its voting behavior, the two political camps are deeply segregated.” After establishing that we now live in a place that more closely resembles a set of warring tribes than it does a functioning nation, Lugar talked about the coarsening of American life and discourse. He said we Americans have come to view each other as hostile combatants rather than fellow citizens.
In doing so, we divorce ourselves not just from a sense of shared belonging to a great nation, but from reality.
“We can debate the cultural and psychological reasons for this, but it is symptomatic of the willingness of Americans to disparage political rivals in terms that are harsher and less connected to the truth than those that are acceptable in other areas of life,” Lugar said. Lugar said this disconnect has produced a government – and a country – that cannot function. “The American political system clearly is failing to address obvious problems for which broad based solutions are well understood, such as immigration reform and the viability of entitlement programs. On numerous issues, we are failing even to have a civil conversation,” Lugar said. At the time Lugar delivered his lecture, we Americans were in the midst of national arguments about missing emails, demeaning more than half the country’s population and whether one presidential candidate should jail another. Meanwhile, the middle class is disappearing, more and more of our children are growing up in poverty and we live in a world of increasingly varied dangers. Lugar called for an old-fashioned solution. Some people call it statesmanship. Some call it leadership. He said that candidates for office should make a kind of pledge to themselves: “I affirm that members of the other party love our country and are people of good will, and I will avoid portraying them as unpatriotic or disloyal. “I believe that members of the opposing party can contribute to good policy. I will explore opportunities to work with them and will attempt to include them in early deliberations on my initiatives. I recognize that bipartisan support from elected officials broadens public acceptance of new laws and policies and improves the chances that they will be successfully implemented.
“Even as I participate in partisan debates and work on behalf of my party, my first motivation will be a careful reflection on what is good for the country. I will avoid legislative and policy actions that have no purpose other than to score partisan political points. “Although I will advance arguments consistent with my own political philosophy, I will study issues in depth with an open mind. I will consider multiple points of view and avoid an exclusive reliance on my party’s positions and talking points. “I will maintain my civility, even when others around me do not. I will measure my words, to avoid inflammatory rhetoric that often is destructive to the political process and national unity.”

Sorry for the long comment, but these words have helped me to try to come to terms with these election results.
Maybe we all need to take some cues from the Sesame Street my 4yr old was watching this morning and work on cooperation again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kihZUsADQTQ

Christy

To Leigh...If the"silent majority" in America is not racist, why would they support a man who was enthusiastically endorsed by David Duke and the KKK? Why would they support a man who spent years accusing our first African-American president of being from Kenya? If they are not misogynists, why support a man who bragged on tape about sexually assaulting women? Why support a man who cheated on all three of his wives? Why support a man who regularly says disgustingly inappropriate things about women? If they are not bigots, why support a man who opened his campaign by saying that Mexican immigrants are rapists and murderers (and maybe a few good people managed to squeak in)? If they are God-fearing, why do they support a man who goes against Jesus's greatest commandment (Love your neighbor as yourself)? Why do they support a man who says he doesn't need to ask for forgiveness from God? (He clearly is not a Christian.) BTW, I grew up in the heartland and my family and friends still live there. I know all about "the silent majority." You are right that most conservatives are lovely people and not any of the things I described. But this idea that "liberal elites" are shoving a "progressive liberal agenda" down your throats is so utterly counter-productive. What is "cultural Marxism" anyway? Define that. The mocking, ridiculing, and name-calling goes both ways, doesn't it? Hey, Trump That Bitch! Hillary Sucks, But Monica Blows! Lock Her Up!! If I posted some of the anti-semitic and racist posts I've seen ALL OVER THE INTERNET since this election began, you would be horrified. So...I know that the conventional wisdom today is that the "liberal elites" need to understand the "silent majority", but I would argue that there needs to be more understanding on all sides.

April

Leigh - Absolutely correct.

Meredith

To Rachael.....beautiful post. But Liberals ignore the existence of the purely stupid and hateful at their own peril. Not everyone has an equal opinion that must be considered. Some people are just stupid and hateful. My 65 year old FIL voted on Tuesday for the first time in his life because he hated the "big eared n*gger" and he never should have been elected. His other hot button issue? "F*ggots being able to use regular people bathrooms". Thank god he does not own or understand how to use a computer. Liberals need to shed the notion that everyone's viewpoint has value, common ground can always be sought.....sometimes, it just isn't true.

Leigh

Christy, I agree that there needs to be more understanding and just because I did not vote for Hill does not make me any one of those things you described. Was Trump my first choice.... no... Do I agree with some of the things he has said or done ... no. I do not understand the KKK thing.... Did Trump say YEAH KKK is supporting me... Did he ask for that endorsement? Any one regardless of who they are, criminal, racist, purple people eaters, can say Hey general public I support so and so. If I am that so and so it does not lump me in that particular group! And to answer your question I refer to my friend google: Cultural Marxism is a branch of western Marxism, different from the Marxism-Leninism of the old Soviet Union. It is commonly known as “multiculturalism” or, less formally, Political Correctness
On the other side of the coin, Why did you vote for Hillary? Why is it you were able to look past the vast corruption that was exposed by her party? Why are you able to over look the good ole boy machine that she has worked for 30 years? Why are you able to overlook the fact that she takes money from anyone for her own personal gain? Why are you able to overlook the fact that she will literally say anything that she thinks people want to hear and do so many times and contradict herself over and over
The fact is, regardless of the outcome, the system worked. A majority of the US chose a President the way we always do! Sometimes we agree with it, sometimes we don't. The sky is not falling and if a majority of the ppl want it changed in 4 years they will change it.

Stephanie

I am blue, both politically and of mind. I'm trying my best to understand what's happening, I'm trying not to broadly judge, I'm trying. My thought on the win is he said what the white, working class wanted to hear. Those folks voted for Obama's "hope and change" and felt he didn't deliver. The establishment politicians on both sides sold them out. Now mix in Hillary coming to the election with A LOT of baggage, the media puke nuke, a fundamental lack of understanding of our Constitution, basic civics and American history. the inability to focus for more than 8 seconds, the breakdown of societal constructs due to the proliferation of technology and Mercury in retrograde (that part is a joke) (it's a defense mechanism), and there you go.

Saying that, I am the mother of an immigrant daughter, adopted from China. Sadly the majority of us in my community have had to address our children's fear they will be sent back, questions like "Could I pass for white?", classmates asking when they're leaving? This is an issue for me and that I've typed those words without imploding into an expletive filled WHAT THE HELL? is testament to yoga and meditation. Also Xanax. I understand the reasons some voted for him, I believe the majority who voted for him are not racist, misogynistic twatwaffles, really I do! What I don't understand is the blatant disregard to the most repugnant words and concepts (and illegal, and unconstitutional, and elitist, and entitled) that have ever been uttered from a candidate's (now President's!) mouth. THAT is the part that makes me ill, that's the part that makes me ANGRY. That's the part that gives me heart palpitations.

I want a cookie for making it through that without dropping an F-bomb.

Sally

I'm with you Amy- I wish my sons would not have had to go to their school and get ridiculed by their peers for supporting Hillary. (middle schooler- kid got in his face yelling "build that wall" at him, telling him he was a "pansy" for supporting a dumb woman) Such is life in a red state- bleh.

Ashley

Term limits for all politicians are our only hope.

Donna

Minus the part where you and Jason had to tell the children because thankfully I don't have any, you have articulated my feelings quite well. I thank you for that. I keep thinking that we are actually the majority and there are so many of us that feel the same way and that helps somehow. Is it misery loves company? I hope not. I like to think we are kindred, though, and can support each other.

Ann

After reading your blog. I am saying -- Give the guy a chance like we did with Obama. Keep an open mind and be willing to work together. It's not as bad as it seems. No hate, no hate.... Willingness to work together, regardless of difference opinions and beliefs. There will be a woman president one day, just not now. It wasn't her time.

Keep an open, love and give anyone a chance that MAYBE it could work. I am, giving him a chance.

Nanareenie

These posts are fascinating. But reading the pro-Trump posts help make me understand, or empathize with them. I'm so frightened for this country. How long will it take the Trumpeteers to join in the fear?

Christine

Most of us did not vote for him. She is solidifying the popular vote. So, yes, the time of the Electoral College is over (once is a fluke, twice is a pattern).

I agree entirely with Meredith. Trump talked a good game about remembering the working poor (whites) and that's what won him the election. But none of his proposed plans will do anything for them.

I do want to address the issue of his campaign rhetoric. First, that was all him, not the media. He said those things. He tweeted those things. He spent the campaign being a hateful bully. Second, words have consequences. I lived through another election full of vitriol, and why the R candidate didn't mean anything literally, the people voting for him sure as hell took it seriously, and my Congresswoman ended up being shot in the head. Words. Have. Consequences. And he encouraged this behavior.

I am worried for my Hispanic friends - not because I think that they're going to be deported but because this man's followers now have a President that told them that people of color are dangerous, to be feared.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-elections/donald-trump-president-supporters-attack-muslims-hijab-hispanics-lgbt-hate-crime-wave-us-election-a7410166.html
That's what you elected. Nothing about this man expresses the ideals of this nation.

cath

Everyone has said it all...this outcome is unbeleivable! I saw this little webpage and thought it might put a smile on Noah's face. When there is nothing you can do now to right the wrongs, get out and get busy I say.
http://modernisticdesign.blogspot.com.au/2014/06/lego-minifig-as-cable-holder-every-cord.html?m=1

Worker Bee

Leigh, thank you for expressing how some of us feel.

On a different note, I don't understand the many things I've seen about young (4 or 5) children being so upset. My 4 year old does not watch the news. I don't think he can understand the things discussed on the news -- there's much more than politics such as murders, etc. I don't want him to have to try to digest those things. I want him to enjoy being a child. BUT, if I did talk to him about politics, it would be in a way that is respectful of the differences of opinions that can and should exist in this world. We are conservative Christians. Do we agree with some of the liberal policies that have come about? No, but we respect that not everyone shares our views. We understand that while we believe abortion is murder, others do not. And they are allowed to see things differently because God gave us free will. We also understand that no matter the outcome of elections, God is more powerful than any politician. Our faith is stronger than our fears. And our great country was built with checks and balances. We don't live in a dictatorship and I cannot fathom why people are behaving as if we just turned into one with the election of Trump. Grant one another grace and let's stop hatefully labeling anyone who has a different view. And let's stop instilling fear and anger into our children.

Sarahd

I am among the crying, horrified liberals. Living in Alabama among, surprise, surprise, boat loads of Republicans, including some of my own family members. Trying not to cry in front of my boys, trying to see HOW people who seem to be decent could pull for someone so completely indecent to lead our entire country. THIS IS REALLY HARD AND IT SUCKS is what I'm saying. I've already written a lot about this, arguing in depth with friends and family on-line, to keep from doing it in person because that would make Thanksgiving suck, etc. So I'm a little tapped out but I will say I'm trying SO HARD to look on the bright side. She actually won the popular vote. And a HUGE chunk of the country didn't even vote, probably because they didn't like or trust either candidate (or because they don't care but I don't really want to think about that right now, either). So, if it's somehow comforting to you like it is to me don't forget that the actual majority of the country DID NOT vote for him. And a lot of other (hopefully not really BAD people) did, but for the reasons that others here have listed. They aren't GOOD reasons IMO but they are infinitely better than the hopefully (I STILL CHOOSE HOPE!) reason that they are KKK sympathizers who think women who have abortions should be punished, etc., ad infinitum. (it seems). I WILL feel comforted by this dammit, because I must. But that doesn't mean I won't fight as hard as I can against it all. And I'm so glad to know you will, too.

TishKaBob

In shock as well, but I think for rural folks and even statewide in some cases, the hundreds of thousands of families that earn their living through some part of the coal industry heard Hillary say, "We're gonna put a lot of coal miners out of work". Trump played that over and over in commercials. While you would think the horrendous statements by Trump would turn people off, any day of the week, if someone threatens your livelihood...you just made an ex-supporter for life. I have no doubt that with all the other issues that people think it "must be" that caused this, no will ever convince me that it wasn't that one single remark.

sara

I just want to comment to the person mentioning kids and their awareness of what is going on. I agree when my oldest was 4 or 5 I could shield him from what I felt I needed to. He is now 13 and very, very aware (and angry) so my youngest (5 year old) hears and knows a lot more than he did at that age. Also, even my 6 1/2 year old first grader watched CNN news at school. He formed his own opinion pretty fast- kids know a bully when they see one.

Lauren A

I hope the "Vote for change" folks are super happy with the political insiders and "30 year professional politicians" who Trump is surrounding himself with. Good job on that one- I'm SURE that'll really shake up the system.

DB

My post is very late to the conversation, but I've had many thoughts since reading your post and the ensuing comments. I'm going to preface this with the disclosure that I'm black (I have a suspicion few of your readers are), highly educated, a first-generation college student whose mother was a teen mom, and the mother of 3 little boys. And a "liberal", a Democrat, etc.

I have mixed feelings about your feelings. I was a supporter of Hillary Clinton, proudly voted for her, despised Trump....and yet the morning of election day my husband and I had a conversation about how sure we were that Trump was going to win. We were not surprised AT ALL. Disappointed, but not surprised. Anyone paying attention to the things being said about President Obama over the past few years knew a "backlash" was coming. The hatred did not start being intense with Trump, it was simply unmasked and even embraced. Racism, misogyny, bigotry, xenophobia - these are not new things in this country. I'm actually kind of annoyed by all of the (sorry) white people wringing their hands saying "this is not the America I know". Because this IS the America I've always known. Where have you been? Did you not know this country was literally founded on bigotry? Did you REALLY think we were "post-racial" because we had a black president?? This ignorance of the reality of America is stunning to me. Obama was like a dream, a fantasy of America where issues that are important to previously marginalized people were actually talked about and considered and a part of the national conversation. It was nice. It was never going to last. The groundswell of hate and disrespect towards Obama started the minute he took office, and was stoked by our new President-elect and his "birtherism". Too many people felt "left out" of the conversation because it wasn't all about them anymore. Too many people saw Obama as "divisive" because he encouraged dialogue about things that have been happening for decades but ignored - as if racism began because the president talked about racism. It was never going to last.

Also, too many people were/are becoming weary of "identity politics" (the subject of my whole paragraph above LOL). It's not that they didn't care that Trump is a bigot, they just cared about other things *more* (the economy, ISIS, abortion, etc). They don't all "hate" minorities/immigrants/LGBTQ/etc, but they don't really *care* about those issues either. I think they were/are getting tired of hearing about "other people's" issues that they don't feel any connection to, tired of having to listen to us discuss police brutality and bathrooms and gender roles because all they can think about (and not wrongly) is that their health insurance is skyrocketing and the jobs are gone and they're terrified of terrorism. Donald Trump tapped into all of this, and Hillary Clinton did not. She was never going to win, even though you and I feel that she should have.

So I hope Trump does a good job. I don't think he will, not because he's a bigot and misogynist, but because he seems to have no real understanding of foreign policy and thinks running off at the mouth is the same as being "strong" and I worry he's going to f--- up and land us in a war. But I hope he does. I hated how people rooted for Obama to fail from the get-go and wouldn't give him a chance. I want the president, whomever they are, to do well - because I have to live here too.

Della

DB, this is the best thing I've read all day. You addressed the problem. Head on.

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