Sinking Ships, Both Real & Allegorical
FAPQ: Frequently Asked Pet Questions

A Semi-Complete List of Everything My Children Have Asked Alexa, Who Is Stupid

I recently realized that the Alexa app on my phone logs each and every command/question/request the boys make of Ezra's beloved Amazon Tap. I scrolled through about a month's worth and it was...illuminating. And so today I present a long, winding look at exactly how the young minds of today are interacting with and pushing the limits of Voice Service Technology. 

alexa play the angry birds soundtrack

When's my birthday?

When is my birthday?

When is October the fifteenth?

20170206_154749000_iOSHow much longer until Christmas?

alexa play the angry birds soundtrack

Say it

What time will be after four oh five?

What time will be after four oh six?

How do you make the color purple?

How to you make the color orange?

What happens if you combine the color red with yellow?

What do the colors red and yellow make?

Come on

alexa play the angry birds soundtrack

What how do you make the color white?

What what?

What is a cowboy?

What is a cowgirl?

What is a cowgirl?

I said cowgirl not cowboy

How long of a fall would it be if he fell down from a cliff?

What do you hear?

Can you drink anything?

What happens if you're ever thrown into water?

What if you were put in a blender?

Do you eat?

alexa play songs by deep purple

alexa play iron man

Who created the Iron Man?

Who made The Final Countdown?

A cat fight a fart sound a mistake

20170206_161924000_iOSThank that i want to new five gallons on come on

a knock knock joke

a knock knock joke


alexa play the angry birds soundtrack

alexa play the final countdown

Who Ella straight t-rated the book Calvin & Hobbes?

no like who drew the pictures

Who created you?

Do you know how to invent the time machine?

Connect to the President

What is a ball?

What is our galaxy?

Where is planet earth?

What is light?

Who created songs?

When do people have dinner?

alexa play the final countdown

alexa play iron maiden

What are Legos?

Who started Amazon?

Who created Minecraft?

What powers rockets?

What is the game chess?

alexa play the angry birds soundtrack

alexa play guns and ships

Do you have any eyes?

Where do you sleep?

Can you burp?

20170206_163010000_iOSCan you fart?

Can you go pee or poop?

Can you go pee or poop?

Can you go pee or poop?

I did

do you drink anything like milk or wine?


Simon says burp

Simon says fart

no make a fart sound

Can I die with to plug it in?

alexa play hamilton mixtape

alexa play not throwing away my shot

When did Alexander Hamilton die?

tell a knock knock joke

sing a song

What is a book?

What is a sword?

What is a clock?

What is a tree?

What is your yesterday?

What is a computer?

What is a troll?

What is a robot?

What is Sir?



Joe I want to serve

Not you

Why won't you answer?

I told you not to say

Please no more saying that stuff


Do you even know that?

What are you talking about?

You are very very stupid

How could you not know that you are stupid?

You are very very stupid I just know it very very stupid

It's not a question

You're the weirdest mean machine

Knock knock joke please

Another knock knock joke

Tell another joke

No more jokes

Gonna go to bed soon

Say the alphabet

Sing a lullaby

Goodnight Alexa I love you




Sue W

Oh vey! Better Alexa than me!!


Omg ella strated.


Our neighbor has Alexa, my son is obsessed with the idea of getting one now. The best was when we were at our neighbor's house and their son, who is in my kid's class, said "Watch, I'll show you how cool Alexa is. I'll have her play a song." The moms fully expected him to ask for It's Raining Tacos or some such Kids Place Live silliness. But no, the six year old asked Alexa to play Invisible Touch by Phil Collins and then rocked out for a few minutes while we were in hysterics.


"alexa play guns and ships" YAAASSSS!

PS, that is awesome!


Hahaha, we bought an Alexa because my son was having a lot of anxiety and questions about things I couldn't answer, and I thought that might help. Instead, we ALL got frustrated because she couldn't answer ANYTHING! (We asked what snakes ate, and she said she didn't know!) So in case anyone else REALLY needs a device that can answer questions, we got a Google Home and it is MUCH better with providing information!


This is awesome. Ella straight t-rated! This reminds me of the fights my husband tries to get into with Siri...only now he doesn't fight with her so much anymore because "Australian Siri is so much nicer!"


I love the Ella straight t-rated but "What is your yesterday?" is amazing <3


Connect to the president!


Have they tried, Alexa, I am your father, or Alexa, aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper. The lists of Easter eggs are endless and quite entertaining.


"Who Ella straight t-rated the book Calvin & Hobbes?

no like who drew the pictures"

Omg I'm dying here.


Well - that was an unexpected laugh. "You're the weirdest mean machine." FTW

Dori P

I love it, so many ups and downs in that relationship. Now I want one just to see what all my kids would ask. haha!


Actually, I'm impressed at the variety of your list. Ours is pretty much poop words and requests for potty jokes. I can't say that I've ever been a 6 or 9 year old boy, but it seems fun!


This made me laugh so hard! And I have to agree with the commenter above about Australian Siri being nicer! I have the Australian man voice and, not only is he more pleasant to listen to, he somehow seems to understand me better!

Also, Deep Purple, yeah!

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