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February 2017
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April 2017

But Do They Test For Stupid?

We've been home almost as long as we were gone in the first place, and yet the post-travel chaos continues. Only one suitcase is unpacked (and the toiletry bag really only moved from Point A to Point B(athroom), so only partial credit there), I'm still doing laundry and we have yet to restock the fridge or pantry. The kids all came running into our room this morning in a mass panic because there was no cereal. NO CEREAL. What are you even DOING, adults? You have ONE JOB and it is to PROCURE A STAGGERING AMOUNT OF CEREAL FOR OUR FACES. (Nevermind all the waffles, pancakes, oatmeal, fruit and eggs. No cereal = breakfast is a pile of garbage.) But oh! Speaking of jobs. I am (fingers crossed) about to start a big brand-new work project with a big brand-new client. I say fingers crossed because I got my resume in front of them well over six months ago for this project and eventually sort of gave up on it actually happening, but now it is. (No, it's not Amalah/Internet/Jackass/Funtime related, it's part of my secret identity/side hustle as a Capable Adult Human who gets shit done and knows how... Read more →


Storches Go Skeeting

We survived, both the drive and the trip itself. Post-road-trip/mini-vacation crash aside, today is kind of a rough day over here. So forgive the lazy mass posting of photos without much storytelling. (NOT PICTURED: AMALAH, THE GIANT CHICKEN GIRL WHO DOES NOT ROLL WITH THIS SKIING NONSENSE.) (That's Jason's niece on the left, also known as Ike's Favorite Person.) (She made him a pom pom puppy, now known as Ike's Most Treasured Possession.) What is it with vacation homes that suddenly make board games so attractive, by the way? We have a huge stack of dusty games that no one ever wants to play, that get taken out maybe once a year just long enough for an essential piece or two to go missing. But whenever we go on a trip it's like the goddamn National Chutes & Ladders Tournament and Operation Invitational. It's so old-fashionedly wholesome. (Ike cheats at Candyland something terrible, though.) Post-skiing entertainment at the lodge was a bit more their usual speed. Netflix cartoons, hot chocolate and chicken wings. "I did awesome at skeeting. My favorite part was when I fell in the snow on my belly." Ezra spent the weekend bargaining with us over what... Read more →


Road Trip Rules & Sanity Savers

This post is sponsored by Best Fiends. By the time you read this, I will be visiting family in Killington, VT, having (hopefully) survived a seven-hour road trip with my children...and (even more hopefully) with my sanity intact. I'm not worried about the kids, by the way. The secret to traveling with kids is actually pretty simple: 1) Get a car with a DVD player in it. Procure many DVDs. And that's it. You're pretty much done. I mean, you'll also want some headphones for them, snacks and drinks but not too many drinks, because then you'll have a kid who needs to pee exactly five minutes after you leave the rest stop where he refused to even get out of the car (but I didn't have to go then!!!) and yet it's already at EMERGENCY LEVELS and then something unspeakable happens in an empty water bottle but hey that's an unexpected perk of having boys I guess. Okay, so there's also 2) Pack an empty water bottle, just in case. So my kids will happily spend all seven hours watching movie after movie while I slowly die of boredom in the front seat. Jason is a...bit of a control... Read more →


Hellweek v.23734961230.2

Tuesday night I came down with what I initially thought was a stomach virus, but has since turned out to be a mild case of food poisoning. And while I'm still not back to 100% (can drink water just fine but can't eat anything without disastrous consequences), once I realized it was NOT something that would ping-pong around the entire household, resulting in a week or more of bodily fluid hell, I was downright relieved. So I ate some bad chicken at a restaurant over the weekend! The kids all ordered pancakes off the brunch menu! Jason got a steak salad! It's just me! Everybody else is gonna be fine! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER! Or more accurately, this is the most Mom I've ever Mommed. I am celebrating my own wretched but non-contagious food poisoning. We have hit Peak Mom and surprise! It's DISGUSTING. Tonight we're supposed to get in the car and drive seven hours to Vermont. I should be better by then, right? Or at least super skinny? Shit. This is probably gonna suck. Read more →


A Not-Even-Remotely-Close-to-Humble Brag

My husband is awesome. And apparently I am too. I would never in a million years advise or recommend that anyone be as naively stupid as we were when we got married so young, but damn am I ever happy I snagged this guy first. Read more →


Of Cats & General Chaos

Happy Monday! Today I am best visually represented by this photo: Which is to say fat, cozy and in no mood to extricate myself from this couch groove. Mostly because of this, which Jason made on Friday night. (I helped! I made rice and prepped stuff and also kept his drink glass filled.) Homemade saag paneer and rotis. Enough to feed an army, or at least all of us throughout the entire weekend and again for me, for lunch today. (We made the cheese using this super easy DIY kit, the saag is a bit of a mash-up of these two recipes, and this is the bread.) Saturday morning I went to the YMCA to work out, then promptly came home and shoved another bowl of it in my face. Goals! We also took the kids out for some local exploring. Our poor little downtown continues to steadily recover from the flood, and the boys' favorite vintage toy store has finally reopened. (You might remember the owner as the hero dude from this video.) (The sidewalks aren't as pretty as they used to be, but I'll take this over GIANT GAPING DOOM CHASMS.) The kids were SUPER excited to see... Read more →


Digging Out

After the insanity of last winter, our next-door neighbor and fellow long-ass driveway-haver had the sense to procure a snow thrower in time for this year. We did not, because we are cheapskates with the memories of goldfish...but then it didn't really snow at ALL so we were happy to have procrastinated on the expense. Then boom! March mini-blizzard, because of course. Jason has back issues, though, so shoveling us out was going to be All Me. So imagine my delight when I looked outside and saw that our neighbor, SUPER STOKED to finally break out that bad boy, had already cleared our driveway for us. (The bottoms of our driveways are shared, but he went above and beyond and came almost all the way up to our garage.) I opened the door to yell our thanks; he just shrugged and waved, then spun around with a gleeful look on his face as he went up the sidewalk to go help another house of people who were miserably dealing with the heavy, slushy, icy snow the old-fashioned way. The suburbs! What a country. I shoveled out the last few remaining feet and it damn near killed me -- every shovelful... Read more →


Whoosh

This was last Thursday: Outside in t-shirts, flush from playing basketball, waiting for Jason to arrive for back-to-back-to-back parent/teacher conferences. The weather was warm, the sun was shining, the most perfect sibling shot only slightly marred by some aggressively unfortunate pencil placement. This is today: (No, we didn't lose Noah. He's playing outside now too, but just wasn't in a picture-taking mood today or Thursday. My camera roll is chock-full of him posing next to a whole bunch of Very Important Lego builds, though.) We didn't get nearly as much as predicted, at least, and after last year's mega-blizzard this is a fairly tame-ass storm. But it's March. Marrrrrrch. So close and yet so far/cold/damp. Beau is not a fan, as evidenced by the muddy/slushy LET ME BACK IN THE WORLD IS BROKEN OUT HERE footprints all over the door. He later worked up the nerve to frolic outside with the boys and their sleds, then came back in and made a soggy beeline for my pillow. The cats spent part of the morning looking out the window while whimpering in wide-eyed panic but seem to have calmed down since. Definitely ready for spring to get sprung, tho. Read more →


Serenity Now

So there's some stuff I haven't written about, for no real reason other than it's All Very Unpleasant, and I'm Very Tired of All This Unpleasantness, and would really, truly rather tell you guys nothing but funny stories about my kids and post pictures of cats like a proper blogger stereotype. But at this point I'm straight-up omitting a bit of narrative here, so let me get you caught up. My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Awhile ago, actually. I'd noticed the hand tremors but was quick to write them off as something similar to mine, but they were getting noticiably worse from visit to visit. It's why she didn't come here for Christmas -- the symptoms have progressed to the point that travel is super difficult and (so far) her treatments have led to far more negative side effects than positive results. She's seeing a new specialist next month, so I'm hoping she'll get some better options. It's been a very different experience than my father's many illnesses, which were always punctuated by specific "OH SHIT WHAT NOW" moments of disaster and hospitalization. Every time I'd drop everything and get in the car, there was this dark cloud of... Read more →


Come On People Now

In lieu of typing out one (OF THE MANY!) furious political rants I've been yelling at the walls over the past month week 24-hour news cycle, I'll tell you a more happy story. A blog reader FB messaged me with a note of thanks after seeing my photos from the protest again the Muslim ban. We chatted back and forth for a bit -- like sooooooo many of the readers I've gotten to know over the years, she was funny and friendly, a fellow mom with a creative streak, generous and kind. She was also, you know, a Muslim. And obviously not having the best day. She asked if she could send the boys a little gift from her Etsy shop, and since handmade gifts from readers have always been and always will be my favorite thing in the world (other than say, a bunch of Sephora gift cards in the wake of the Zombie Pinkeye Makeup Drawer-pocalypse), I said yes! Please! Gimme dat swag. She specifically insisted no plug or pimpage was needed, but nahhhhh, sorry Farah. Her shop is LittleMuslimDolls. Naturally Ike immediately turned them into flying superhero ninjas. Ezra simply paired them up as mommies and daddies.... Read more →