So Jason woke up this morning with pinkeye. Naturally, I am terrified for my own life and staying far, far away from him. Which sucks, because I really do like the guy but NEVER EVER AGAIN AM I DEALING WITH THAT BULLSHIT.
(I did at least hurl a handful of my doctor-recommended eye drops at him before I ran screaming from the room.)
Since I'm pretty sure the vast majority of you guys come here EXCLUSIVELY to find out the latest greatest trends that all the cool kids are talking about these days, but like, underground, because I'm very well-informed but also indie, let me tell you about a little-known toy fad currently sweeping the nation, or at least Ezra's second grade classroom: The Rubik's Cube.
Suddenly all Ezra wanted in the world was a Rubik's Cube, because everybody else suddenly had a Rubik's Cube. And while I am always conscious about the perils of peer pressure and was fully aware that this toy would amuse him for approximately 45 seconds before being tossed aside in frustration, I was also like OH THANK GOD HE'S TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S and bought him a Rubik's Cube.
It's been tearing our family apart ever since.
Here is (pre-pinkeye) Jason, proudly displaying about 30 minutes' of puzzlin' handiwork.
Cough. Nice work, husband.
Meanwhile...this kid's brain completely gets it, to the surprise of absolutely no one.
He was probably still telling me all about the Night Four gameplay of Five Nights At Freddy's 3 for the 600 billionth time, though.
I decided to chill on my "but the Internet says it's a HORROR GAME!!1!: moral panic re: the FNAF franchise a few weeks ago and let them play the actual games. This was a HORRIBLE decision because 1) none of them will shut up about it now, 2) the merchandising machine around these games is complete insanity, 3) they keep jumping out around corners to startle each other (and me), and finally 4) I tried to play one of the damn things and got super stressed out by the sound effects and jump scares and kept dying. Then I had a bad dream about it. :(
(I am also really bad at the Rubik's Cube. My transformation into every middle age stereotype ever is nearly complete.)
Finally, we attempted to take the kids to the Maryland Science Center in Baltimore on Saturday, only to learn they were randomly closing early for an event that day and we'd arrived too late to go in. We spent 15 minutes in the lobby instead and I got exactly one photo of my children experiencing the magic of science:
Did it include one child lying on the filthy floor after nearly elbowing another in the face?
OF COURSE IT DID. IT'S A CLASSIC STORCH FAMILY WEEKEND.