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Three Nights at Amy's

So Jason woke up this morning with pinkeye. Naturally, I am terrified for my own life and staying far, far away from him. Which sucks, because I really do like the guy but NEVER EVER AGAIN AM I DEALING WITH THAT BULLSHIT.

(I did at least hurl a handful of my doctor-recommended eye drops at him before I ran screaming from the room.) 

Since I'm pretty sure the vast majority of you guys come here EXCLUSIVELY to find out the latest greatest trends that all the cool kids are talking about these days, but like, underground, because I'm very well-informed but also indie, let me tell you about a little-known toy fad currently sweeping the nation, or at least Ezra's second grade classroom: The Rubik's Cube.

Suddenly all Ezra wanted in the world was a Rubik's Cube, because everybody else suddenly had a Rubik's Cube. And while I am always conscious about the perils of peer pressure and was fully aware that this toy would amuse him for approximately 45 seconds before being tossed aside in frustration, I was also like OH THANK GOD HE'S TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S and bought him a Rubik's Cube. 

It's been tearing our family apart ever since. 

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Here is (pre-pinkeye) Jason, proudly displaying about 30 minutes' of puzzlin' handiwork.

Meanwhile...

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Cough. Nice work, husband. 

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Meanwhile...this kid's brain completely gets it, to the surprise of absolutely no one. 

He was probably still telling me all about the Night Four gameplay of Five Nights At Freddy's 3 for the 600 billionth time, though.

I decided to chill on my "but the Internet says it's a HORROR GAME!!1!: moral panic re: the FNAF franchise a few weeks ago and let them play the actual games. This was a HORRIBLE decision because 1) none of them will shut up about it now, 2) the merchandising machine around these games is complete insanity, 3) they keep jumping out around corners to startle each other (and me), and finally 4) I tried to play one of the damn things and got super stressed out by the sound effects and  jump scares and kept dying. Then I had a bad dream about it. :(

(I am also really bad at the Rubik's Cube. My transformation into every middle age stereotype ever is nearly complete.)

Finally, we attempted to take the kids to the Maryland Science Center in Baltimore on Saturday, only to learn they were randomly closing early for an event that day and we'd arrived too late to go in. We spent 15 minutes in the lobby instead and I got exactly one photo of my children experiencing the magic of science:

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Did it include one child lying on the filthy floor after nearly elbowing another in the face? 

OF COURSE IT DID. IT'S A CLASSIC STORCH FAMILY WEEKEND. 

Comments

jodi

Do not allow them to watch 5 nights at freddys youtube videos because those are worse than minecraft youtube videos and I did not think that was humanely possible. The sheer volume and screeching on those things are terrible.

Katie

The Spencer's in Annapolis Mall has adult-sized Freddie costumes on clearance for $10...we are currently enjoying "revenge jumpscare's" to make up for MONTHS of non-stop FINAF talk. Not a sermon, just a thought.

(Also, FINAF flashlights are available on Amazon and can be set to a jumpscare mode. I hate the "scare noise," but the boys really really REEEAAALLLLYYYY love them, so...they win? I win? I lose? I dunno?)

StatMom

My kid doesn't freak out about much. He has watched Jaws and other similar "jumpscare" movies, and he just doesn't get why people find them at all scary. But FNAF? That put him off good sleep for days.

He also went through a Rubiks Cube phase a while back. We have ... maybe 4 still lying around? Different shapes, different numbers of rows, ones with themes. He wanted them all. As fads go, at least it's harmless and (relatively) inexpensive. Plus no charger required!!!

Sheri

UGH! Would it be rude to say that I want to throat punch whoever came up with FNAF? And oh my word....the "music" videos for FNAF are soooo annoying and there's so many of them!!!! Thanks a lot guy who came up with this junk! I think I'll add a kick in the pants to that throat punch!!

Jenny

My kid was obsessed with FNAF (never played the game, just watched videos of people playing it), but now she has moved on to an all-encompassing Pokemon addiction. Less creepy, but still endless amounts of merch, as the kids say.

Stacy

I've never heard of FNAF so I guess I'm lucky there. We did have the Rubik's cube phase, and like someone else mentioned, all the different ones. Now my kids are on to fidget spinners. EVERYONE has them. Also something that doesn't need to be charged so I guess I'm ok with it.

Alexa

Rubik's cubes are huge here too. We recently attended a Rubik's cube themed birthday party for a second grader, which cracked me up. Also the giant Rubik's cube cake made everyone's teeth black...it was awesome.
I also am terrible at them.

Paige

Rubik's cubes were big with my nerdy friends when I was in high school. I wanted so badly to be able to solve the Rubik's cube, only because I wanted to impress this super-cute nerd-boy. One day, on my mother's bookshelf, I came across this book: https://www.amazon.com/Simple-Solution-Rubiks-Cube/dp/0553140175. So I memorized it.

8 years later, I married the boy. We've been married for over a decade now.

(I can still do a Rubik's Cube, too!)

jennifer

+1 on the fidget spinners. They are everywhere here in Indianapolis. And the videos? My husband wants to start a channel that shows videos kids of kids watching videos of people playing Minecraft et. al.

JenVegas

@jennifer "videos kids of kids watching videos of people playing Minecraft" is a total money maker. Get on that!

Marianne

I posted a comment a few weeks/months? ago about my 5 and 8 year olds (at the time) and their obsession with FNAF. Don't let the interwebs shame you... there's no blood, it's basically startling. The back story is pretty dumb, but my kids and I have had long talks about how that might have been a good job in 1984... living animatronics or not.

Anna H

Rubik's cubes were the in thing at my job about a year and a half ago. One of my favorite coworkers taught me an algorithm to solve it that starts with a daisy and ends with a complicated series of steps that I can do but not say out loud.

Needless to say, anytime I get the opportunity to show off, I do so by solving a Rubik's cube.

(I can also solve the 2x2 but not the 4x4)

Vickie

My daughter's friend learned cube as part of her math class. Before that moment, I had never realized it was a math problem. I thought it was a random thing.

Erica

Thank you. I have resisted and resisted the FNAF in my home and you have just confirmed my decision. I'm sticking to my guns. May peace and enduring boredom with it reign in your home.

Caitlin

@Paige I love your Rubik's cube love story! <3

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