Jason and I took a little getaway to D.C. this weekend in honor of Father's Day and his upcoming birthday (Thursday, somebody remind me). We got all dressed up for a fancy dinner and an evening at the theeeeeatah.
(In the full series of selfies, you can actually SEE the curls withering from my hair from the good ol' D.C. humidity in real time.)
The show was WONDERFUL, although the guy sitting next to me appeared to disagree, as he refused to applaud and then muttered "What the fuck was that?" to his wife as we exited our row at the end. I did not hear her answer. The Sound of Music was playing in the other auditorium, so maybe that would've been more his speed than a genderqueer punk rock drag show about a botched sex change operation and a Greek mythology-fueled mental breakdown. Maybe try Google next time, sir?
Anyway, we loved it and happily made our way back to our hotel, looking forward to sleeping like the dead for as many hours as we desired. We had an overnight sitter and there would be no small nightmare-having children or head-jumping cats all night.
That was technically true, but there was also a hotel fire alarm that went off around 2 a.m., followed by an EQUALLY LOUD AND ALARMING intercom update involving beeps and ATTENTION ATTENTION WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WTF IS GOING ON BUT Y'ALL JUST STAY PUT OKAY?
We were so dead asleep we thought the fire alarm was coming from our thermostat and was something we needed to turn off. Then I stood there -- naked and confused -- staring blankly at my suitcase trying to figure out what clothes I should put on, as I hadn't packed any pajamas and had left my flat shoes in our car and really didn't want to go outside in like, Jason's boxers and t-shirt and stilettos. When the intercom update advised us to await further instructions rather than evacuate, I was like, "oh good" and hopped back in bed. At which point my brain fully switched on like, UHHHH GUYS GUYS THAT FIRE IN LONDON IS THIS HOW THAT STARTED WHY ARE WE STILL HERE OMFG.
Finally, a third (looooooood) update informed us that the fire department had determined the source of the alarm trigger and lo, it was definitely not a fire. We didn't get anymore details after that but my money is on a drunk person who doesn't understand not to fuck with parents who are just trying to get one goddamn night of goddamn sleep, goddamn you goddamn asshole.
It was still a nice night and morning, we hit the farmer's market and Jason's favorite butcher shop (everybody has one of those, right?) and we got back in time to take the kids out for a nice Father's Day brunch. Then we came home again, tossed TV remotes and screens at the kids and collapsed into nap comas.
Oh, and finally, while nothing has been decided for sure quite yet, allow me to cryptically tease an upcoming possibility that is looking more and more likely...
(I DID IT I WORE HIM DOWN HE'S TEXTING ME ADOPTION LISTINGS MWA HA HA)