(HA HA SUCKERS, of course Imma talk about my stupid elbow.)
Another week, another doctor's visit, X-ray and this time, a bonus ultrasound. We can now add "tricep avulsion" to my diagnosis, which basically means my tricep muscle cracked off a tiny piece of my olecranon (aka ye olde nubby pointy bit) in what I like to imagine was a fit of super-strong tricep Hulk rage. Also I have a HUGE hematoma under there too, literally bigger than all the elbow bones put together, so I look forward to watching my elbow turn 500 different shades of purple in the weeks ahead. It'll be like watching the eclipse all over again!
SEGUE TIME. Here is my elbow out in the wild. Please note my ability to hold a beer remains unaffected, blessed be to the alcohol gods.
A friend of ours scored us three kids' vouchers for free Orioles tickets for them and deeply discounted tickets for us, which meant we could take the money we saved on tickets and blow it all on hats.
Lesson learned, do NOT wait to panic-buy five hats at the baseball stadium because you didn't pay attention to where your seats were and anticipate being out in the blazing hot August sun. They will cost you a million and four dollars and Amazon has them so much cheaper. My children have been strictly warned not to EVER lose these hats because I am not replacing them; honestly I'm putting them into our will as part of their official inheritance.
And if that weren't enough, Jason and Ezra went out in search of the world's most expensive peanuts and came back with this giant foam...thing. That I'm sure was super reasonably priced and highly practical and also, totally lost or disintegrated by now.
Jason ALSO returned with this shirt on, which he claimed he needed because his other one was all sweaty and gross, but I feel like this super cajjjjjjjjj selfie I found later in his camera roll suggests a different reason lololol. I see you, boo.
Ice cream served up in a plastic souvenir batting helmet? WHY THE HECK NOT, JASON, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE SHORT-TERM DISABILITY TO MAKE UP FOR MY LACK OF INCOME THIS MONTH RIGHT? HA HA HA SOB PLZ TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE GONNA SHARE SOME WITH ME.
(I did eat most of Ike's, as he was way more interested in the hat than its contents. It did not disappoint him, and I'm hopeful this .02 cent hunk of branded plastic will one day appreciate into a rare Orioles collectible worth millions of dollars.)
(If you guessed from these photos that Noah was the ONLY child who was actually more interested in watching the game itself than begging Dad for treats and snacks, you are correct! Pick a prize from our prize box. It's mostly broken crayons and used cotton balls. though.)
In summary, even with free tickets, taking three children to a ballgame is kind of ridiculous, especially when one parent goes off on a spoily-spendy-spree. On the other hand, he always made sure I had a fresh cold beer available, for medicinal purposes of course. So I guess it's okay.
Also, we're saving a fortune on housecleaning costs.
(Yes, that's the kids' suitcase from our trip a couple weeks ago still sitting in our foyer. I haven't unpacked it because next week is our little family beach trip, and I'm just gonna take all the same shit, with a couple extra bathing suits or whatever. This is highly strategic, well-thought-out laziness, people.)