In other non-home improvement news, Poppy ripped open almost-new bag of cat food yesterday and promptly horfed the entire thing down in under five minutes. Or however long it took me to go from, "hmmm I don't like the sound of that" to finding this in the living room:
(AND OF COURSE: It was a bag of expensive specialty cat food. Rey's on an elimination diet as we're trying to pinpoint what our vet thinks is a protein allergy. She is one high maintenance dumbass, but she's like, my high maintenance dumbass, you know?)
(TANGENT: I had a doctor's appointment yesterday in Baltimore and not long after I got there Jason texted me asking about Rey's whereabouts, as someone on Nextdoor reported seeing a stray black cat on the road right by our house. She'd been on our bed when I left and for the life of me I couldn't think of a single rational explanation for how she could possibly have gotten outside but you KNOW I came up with several irrational ones* and was low-key terrified until I got home and could confirm that yes, she was still right there on the bed.)
(Then I got in the car and drove around looking for the other cat, because YAY FREE CAT. And obviously this house totally needs more animals.)
(I didn't find it. I am teh sadz.)
Of course, Poppy is now paying dearly for those five minutes of glory. Liquid shits and near-constant farting and this morning her crate was reminiscent of a toddler overnight diaper poop explosion where said toddler has removed said diaper and flung it across the room. I was rill happy for that nostalgic flashback as I cleaned it up earlier, nearly barfing myself over the smell and also my antidepressant.
Jason's like, the vet says you need to boil her some chicken and rice, the poor baby, how's my poor baby, because that man is crazy for that dog. Don't get me wrong, I love my lil' Popsters the Poppyheaded Poptart too, but I would appreciate a little...well, appreciation for the mess I had to deal with and also all the farting. Holy balls, dog. Go back outside.
But this is a guy who spent last night making homemade peanut butter dog treats in the shape of gingerbread men and still fed one to the dog who was still visibly packed full of several pounds of undigested cat food.
Anyway, life is glamorous AF around here, as per usual. Now I have to go boil some chicken and mop poop crust out of a dog crate.
*In my defense, this is the same cat who full-on fell out a window just days after we got her, and also a couple months ago I came downstairs in the morning and she was just...sitting outside the back door, waiting to be let in. To this day we have no idea when or how she got out there in the first place. She did not enjoy her night outside, and now runs away in terror from any door in general.