Jason and I took a little getaway to D.C. this weekend in honor of Father's Day and his upcoming birthday (Thursday, somebody remind me). We got all dressed up for a fancy dinner and an evening at the theeeeeatah. (In the full series of selfies, you can actually SEE the curls withering from my hair from the good ol' D.C. humidity in real time.) The show was WONDERFUL, although the guy sitting next to me appeared to disagree, as he refused to applaud and then muttered "What the fuck was that?" to his wife as we exited our row at the end. I did not hear her answer. The Sound of Music was playing in the other auditorium, so maybe that would've been more his speed than a genderqueer punk rock drag show about a botched sex change operation and a Greek mythology-fueled mental breakdown. Maybe try Google next time, sir? Anyway, we loved it and happily made our way back to our hotel, looking forward to sleeping like the dead for as many hours as we desired. We had an overnight sitter and there would be no small nightmare-having children or head-jumping cats all night. That was technically true,... Read more →


I was getting coffee yesterday morning with Lydia when Jason texted. There's a protest at the White House at 1 p.m. I want to go. Noah does too. "Welp. I better get home." I told her. "This is what life is like now, I guess." I got home, changed my shirt, refastened an assortment of buttons and a safety pin to my coat, and put on my ridiculous pink hat. The boys and Jason all changed into Hamilton-themed shirts, while Noah carefully packed up the Declaration, Constitution and Bill of Rights. He also chose a hat. The protest quickly moved from a rally at the White House into a march past Trump's hotel and to the Capitol building (something the Women's March ended up being simply too massive to attempt), so we joined in. For something that was somewhat hastily planned and Jason only spotted somewhat randomly on Facebook, the turnout was insane. The line of marchers -- once a again a wildly diverse, universally peaceful crowd -- went on and on as far as I could see in both directions. Ike took it all in with a bit of baffled wonder, while Ezra understood that we were marching against... Read more →


Very (very) early on Saturday morning, I -- like a million-plus other people -- woke up, steeled my nerves, donned a pink pussy hat, and boarded a bus in downtown Baltimore to join the Women's March on Washington. I went with my friends Lydia and Micaela (formerly known as Finn and Rey's former foster moms) and Lydia's mom (whose friend made us our hats, which were warm and cozy and hid whatever was going on with my hair that day, since I opted to completely skip anything beauty-makeup-vanity related in exchange for 10 more minutes of sleep). A series of rookie mistakes cost us over an hour's worth of waiting in lines -- I somehow missed the rule about backpacks and had to wait to check mine (technically Noah's and not one I was willing to abandon) for the day, and then we all were like "oh my God there are a whole three people waiting in line for the bathroom on the bus! no way man, what a hassle!" only to discover that the ENTIRE FEMALE POPULATION had descended on Union Station and lo, it also had to pee. Lydia took this one while we waited in line for... Read more →


We took the boys to the National Archives this weekend to see the Declaration of Independence. (The Constitution and Bill of Rights are there too, but for whatever reason Noah decided the Declaration is the most exciting of the three, and thus the main attraction.) Noah and Ezra brought out their Williamsburg hats (paired with Marty McFly and Star Wars outerwear), and also along for the trip were Noah's favorite history book, a Bionicle and of course, miniature American flags for others. (Oh, and a stack of Lego Mixel building instructions that have become incredibly important to Ike for some reason. Hobbes and Mister Doorknob stayed home this time.) We spent more time getting there, waiting in line, and browsing the gift shop than we spent viewing the actual documents. They're a lot more faded than I remembered, and Noah wasn't able to make much out beyond the title and one loop of John Hancock's signature. So he decided to buy a replica and read that instead, using the text from his book to help him decipher the cursive handwriting. His ultimate goal is to memorize the entire thing. I do not see that being all that difficult for him,... Read more →


Go To The Mattress

I got my hair done last weekend. I'd gotten it into my head that I wanted to go back to blonde, and so I did. I don't want to talk about it. (I don't liiiiiike iiiiiit. It's just not me anymore. I'm no more a natural blonde than I am a natural redhead — at least any shade of blonde anyone would actually want, unless you dig a blonde so ashy and washed out you look like you've gone gray. "Dishwater blonde," I believe it would be called if it came in a box. But of course it doesn't come in a box, because it's a terrible color. So I got blonde highlights over it and tried to give it a few days to grow on me and I think it looks fake and try-hard and wait, I said I don't want to talk about it.) ANYWAY. Moving on. This is not a story about my hair, but rather a super-funny thing I saw on the way back from the salon one time. But not this past time. A time a few months ago, and I don't know why I didn't write about it when it happened. Because it definitely... Read more →


Back in May, we had another lovely family photo session with the lovely Wendy of Blue Lily Photography. Our shoot was in Rock Creek Park in the early evening, so we decided to head into the city a little early and get dinner at our favorite pizza spot. We all got dressed up, spruced up, and made it to the restaurant just in time to beat the dinner rush and snag a big table in the back. As soon as we sat down, I surveyed my dapperly dressed offspring and was like, oh, shit. I'd had them all wear their nice collared shirts to dinner, and I'd brought zero back-up outfits in case of a spill or other disaster. And by "disaster," I mean "thing that basically happens every single meal of our lives, and is as predictable as the moon and the stars and U R AN IDIOT, AMY." My children — Ezra and Ike in particular — rarely leave the dinner table looking like they need anything short of a good hosing off, or a go through the nearest carwash. They are messy, klutzy, dribbly eaters. Sure, the shirts were all just random things I'd grabbed at Old... Read more →


As of this morning, Ike's snowpants still had the tags attached. Even though they are snowpants that I myself did not even buy, but were handed down unworn from my nephew several years ago, and were originally intended for Ezra. I'm happy to say those snowpants finally got put to some good, heavy-duty use. This was Ike's first "real" time out playing in "real" snow. As in, snow that's more than a heavy dusting, and not half-melted by the time we got our collective acts together to get out in it. I think he's napped though every other play-in-the-snow opportunity this winter. This time, though. 15 inches! Enough to just open the front door and toss him into the nearest drift. It's safe to say he's a fan. Ezra, on the other hand, originally spent less time out in the snow than I spent getting him dressed for the snow, once he realized that his dad had every intention of retaliating his snowball-throwing. NOT COOL, DAD. He stomped back in and stripped down in a huff, though I was able to tempt him back out with this jaunty little guy: Ezra selected his carrot nose and hat, and named him... Read more →


The DC metro area was pounded over the weekend with like...I dunno. A couple inches of snow and a coating of slushy stuff. So naturally it was time to 1) panic, 2) BUY ALL THE BREAD, 3) CANCEL ALL THE SCHOOLS, and 4) realize how poorly outfitted my children are for winter weather. I have a huge plastic bin full of snow pants, snow boots and other snow-related accessories. Most of the stuff inside still has the tags attached, since I apparently have the ability to control the weather. If I buy my kids boots and snow pants ahead of time, all proactive-like, it will not snow that winter. I'm like the Snow Queen from Frozen, only in reverse and more shoppy. I wave my magic hands in the direction of a 40% off outerwear sale and BOOM. We will not see snow or ice again until my children have solidly outgrown whatever I just bought them. So yesterday I hauled the bin out and started digging through it. Ezra very much wanted to go outside and play in the snow, so I needed to outfit him for blizzard-type conditions. (Note that you could still see the tips of the... Read more →


Once upon a time, approximately one and a half hours ago, I posted the following photo to Instagram: And yes, I posted it from my car, which is of course a terrible horrible no-no thing to do, though in my defense I posted it while the car was sitting still in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Completely, terribly, horribly no-no-no-OH-FUCK still. (I also used the microphone thing-y to transcribe the caption. SAFETY FIRST.) When I left my house to pick Ike up from school, the info screen informed me that I had 11 miles to go before empty. Ike's school is about four miles away, with a gas station smack dab in the middle. So we cool, Info Screen Bro. We cool. TWENTY MINUTES LATER, I arrived at Ike's school — over 10 minutes late and completely baffled by the traffic I'd just sat through. It's noon! On a Thursday! The government isn't even open! What the hell! Ike's teacher said that another parent told her that the President Obama's motorcade was in the area. Which: Yuuuuupppp. That'll do it, all right. That'll fuck things up real good. I once sat at a traffic light while the vice president's motorcade passed through the... Read more →