(In which I once again use my blog to basically republish shit I already put on Instagram.) (THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE BLOGS, AMY.) On Friday, like something out of a goddamn Disney movie, the winds abruptly changed and the temperature plunged and Jason found a pile of Duraflame logs in the garage. Combined with the sad uncovered pile of wet firewood from the side of the house, we officially had our first fire in the fireplace. Ezra was transfixed, then inspired. He dragged our little table and chairs up from the basement, and added a blanket for a tablecloth. "I wish we could eat our dinner here," he sighed, like, I'm not even going to ask, because my delicate little heart can't handle hearing you say no. "I am totally okay with that," I told him, briefly dipping into Fun Mom territory before veering back into Endless Horrible Nag mode, "just don't spill anything or touch the fireplace and youguysbetteractuallyeatandnofighting." He set out the Fancy Plates (a vintage Serva-Snack set I bought off Etsy for this very purpose but never remember to use nearly enough, as it completely delights them every time it makes an appearance) and... Read more →


Every week, when recycling day rolls around, I'm always CONVINCED that this! This will be the last time we'll have a ton of empty boxes to drag out to the curb. We gave a majority the "nice" boxes away to friends, and now the ones we're unpacking now are the smaller, crappier boxes that ended up shoved in random places, or shit we moved directly from the storage area in our old house to the storage area of our new house, most of the time having no clue what was even inside them. But our new storage area is uncomfortably full already, and the attic isn't easily accessible/finished enough to be useful, so I've started slogging through everything with a brutal eye and a giant garbage bag. One of the things I came across, however, was a trunk full of my favorite childhood toys. Some Disney figurines, a bajillion Strawberry Shortcakes (THAT STILL HAVE THAT FAKE BERRY SMELL OMG HOW), a bunch of Cabbage Patch dolls, plus one slightly hideous plastic/rubber baby doll with matted hair. I got her for Christmas and immediately named her Baby Feels So Real, because I couldn't read yet and truly thought that was the... Read more →


This morning was Noah's first IEP meeting at the new school, with the new team. It was, as always, thrilling and full of drama and I lost my cool and flipped the conference room table over at least twice. Wait, no. Opposite of that. It was actually pretty boring, since it was mostly about moving everything from our old county's IEP form to our new country's IEP form, which we received a couple weeks ago covered in Post-It notes explaining evvvvvvvvery single checkbox and code and category because everything from the old IEP transfers, but it's all just called something slightly different. If I came away with any great insight on moving a special needs child from one Maryland district to another that I can pass along to you, I guess I'd say that Montgomery County IEP forms allow a little more flexibility on a kid's pull-out hours and certain accommodations can be marked as "ONLY IF NEEDED." Howard County IEP forms are like, NO WAY, YOU GONNA DOCUMENT THAT SHIT DOWN TO THE MINUTE. (Also, you have to give them explicit permission to use wearable sensory tools like weighted vests, blankets, etc. on your child because they have technically... Read more →


Okay, let's take a brief break from MOVEAPALOOZA 2015 and get back to what's really important. Self-indulgent photo essays about my kids. Ezra's been working his way through his Pretend Soup cookbook for a couple years now, but just recently became quite taken with the recipe for Bright Pink Fruit Dip. But he didn't just want to make it any old time. He wanted to make it for company. For guests. And so he waited. Every week he'd ask if any guests were coming to our house, and unfortunately once the moving stuff kicked into high gear the answer was always no. I couldn't have people coming into my house, unless they agreed to take their shoes off, use only paper plates and also declutter at least one closet during their visit. This weekend, though! Friends offered to come hang out and help with packing, which was completely awesome. And Ezra's moment had finally arrived. He got right to work. 10 oz. package of frozen raspberries, defrosted. Plus half a package of cream cheese, softened. (Unorthodox knife skillz are optional.) Blend! Transfer to a bowl, add one cup yogurt and two teaspoons of lemon juice, then whisk. Taste test time... Read more →


It's been one of those days/weeks when personal blogging feels especially self-absorbed. I have news coverage from South Carolina open in all my other browser tabs and then I come HERE and like...what do I even write about? The biggest problem I encountered all week is that we're down to only one working iPhone charger so Jason and I are constantly fighting for custody of it, and I ordered a few more but they haven't arrived yet because the next-day shipping from Amazon Prime is taking soooooo looooonnnnnng yoouuuuuuu guuuuuuuyyyyyysssssss. Yeah. Okay, self. I guess I'll just post some pictures and try to think about things that are not terrible. This week's "Are We Really Moving Or Is Jason Just Pulling An Elaborate Prank On Amy To Get Her To Clean Shit Up" project was organizing the shelves in the basement. This, believe or not, is the "AFTER" and is the result of many hours of sorting and purging and (of course) at least one overly dramatic-looking injury: Note that basement photo does include the shelves in the corners. Those are still a damn mess. But look! There's an EMPTY shelf! There's no shit piled up on the floor except... Read more →


Last night, after dinner but before Game of Thrones straight-up murdered my soul, I asked the boys to stand together for a photo. I really don't know what I was expecting. Other than a perfectly accurate picture of what life is like around these three. Which is exactly what I got. Ike looks to Ezra... Ezra looks to Noah... Noah does his own thing and does not care if anyone can see him... And Ike needs a haircut. Just another typical night in the Storch household. Noah and Ezra will be home from school in approximately 45 minutes, and then shit will get real. I'm just glad they like each other. For now, anyway. Read more →


Yesterday afternoon was Ezra's end of year party slash kindergarten graduation. I'd possibly be more SUNRISE/SUNSET about it if the highlight hadn't been 20-plus 5- and 6-year-olds performing a parody version of "All About That Bass" called "All About First Grade." Not exactly an event dripping with pomp and circumstance. Ezra only seemed to know about half the words, but he performed with extra sass and hand gesture flair, and added an extra booty shake at the end for good measure. There was also a slideshow about every child's favorite thing about kindergarten. Ezra said it was a field trip to the Imagination Stage, and posed for the following photos as an accompaniment. I don't know, you guys, but I'm starting to suspect this kid is maaaaaaaybe a little bit of a ham. I sense some theater camp in our future. I had Ike with me, who was practically vibrating with excitement beforehand about getting to see Ezra in KINDERGARTEN, in the ACTUAL KINDERGARTEN ROOM, where there would be OTHER KINDERGARTNERS. I've been literally unable to convince this child to change out of his pajamas even once since preschool ended, but yesterday he was dressed and sitting by the front... Read more →


BECAUSE I'M STILL NOT OVER THIS. Q: So why did you name her "Bluen?" A. Because she wears blue pajamas. (OMG) Q. Why did you add the "N" to her name? A. Because I did not want to name her Blue. (HEADDESK) Q. Is she still "Bluen" when she wears her pink party dress? A. Yes. (IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW) Q. How do you spell "Bubby"? A. (HOLY FUCKING SHIT I THINK I'M HAVING A STROKE) Read more →


The first great crisis of Spring Break 2015 is here and happening, and has the ranks thoroughly divided. A single Lego minifigure is missing. It is apparently a VERY IMPORTANT minifigure, because its status as lost has rendered Noah's entire Hero Factory collection useless, because he cannot play Hero Factory without this minifigure. They have told me this minifigure's name 14 billion times, but I still have no idea who or what they are talking about. I think it's red? According to Noah, the minifigure was last seen in Ike's possession. Ike maintains that he put it back in Noah's room where it belongs. Again, according to Noah, this is a damned dirty lie because he's looked "everywhere" in his room and it's not there. I remain neutral, because I'm pretty sure looking "everywhere" involved little more than standing in the center of the room and sort of idly glancing around, the way he also looks "everywhere" for his shoes, which are typically three feet away and in his direct line of sight. And yet also nowhere to be found! Strange, that. After more fruitless searching (at one point they attempted to use Ike like a search dog, making him... Read more →