It's 11:32 a.m. on Friday night now, and I just woke up 15 minutes ago. And it was glorious. And it's been that way all week, I have to admit. We dropped the boys off at their grandparents last weekend, spent one night in Philly (and still managed to squeeze in three different cheesesteak outings), and have spent the rest of the week here at home, sans kids. The first morning I woke up super early to phantom kid voices and that sense of OH SHIT WE'RE PROBABLY RUNNING LATE FOR SOMETHING. We stayed up super late for no other reason than we COULD, heading out to restaurants and bars and clubs just because LOOK AT US, WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR A BABYSITTER. And then we started sleeping in later and later until here we are today, bordering on full-time nocturnal. In the hours in between, we painted Noah's bedroom and I got to work giving it a low-budget Minecraft theme -- I'm sensing Noah will be a bit disappointed that we didn't paint the floor-to-ceiling pixelated terrain and sky he asked for, but sorry, it took us a full YEAR finally paint over the purple and yellow flowers in... Read more →


Yet Another Important Update On The Ongoing Cat/Box Situation: Somebody peed in the box. So now nobody gets to play in the box anymore, this is why you can have nice box things, you are gross guys, etc. Of course, the matter of WHO peed in the box is a mystery for the ages. So many bladders, so much nonsense. Speaking of mysteries (and nonsense), can someone tell me WTF this is? This is in our upstairs hall linen closet. It is some sort of pushable red button up near the top shelf. It has mystified us all ever since we moved in, although we have (SO FAR) all managed to resist the urge to PUSH THE RED BUTTON, OH GO ON PUSH IT, JUST SEEEEEEE, WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPENNNNNN? We didn't notice it during the inspection or anything and mostly forget that it's there but then I go to get some towels and I'm like guuuuuuuhhhhhwannapushwannapush. All my Google searches for "WEIRD RED BUTTON IN CLOSET WHAT DOES IT DO" and a million other variations have turned up...um, exactly nothing helpful. My first guess was some kind of panic button, as the previous owners did install a... Read more →


This morning I successfully shooed a tiny baby snake off my front porch with a snow shovel. This afternoon I successfully gazed upon a squirming heaving pile of tiny baby snakes without losing my shit. Really growing as a person, over here, guys. I predict full-scale capable adulthood by the age of 55. So I never told this story, as it seemed unwise to write about at the time, but a couple weeks before we listed the townhouse for sale, I was straightening up the basement (AKA OBSESSIVELY DECLUTTERING AND FAKE STAGING) and discovered a huge wet spot on one of the futons. My first thought was CEIBA YOU ASSHOLE, until I felt something dripping on my head. I looked up at the ceiling and the stucco-textured ceiling was wet, bulging, and actively dripping water. HOUSE YOU ASSHOLE. It was coming from the dishwasher, specifically (as discovered by the emergency plumber we immediately called in) from a plastic water reservoir that had been CHEWED THROUGH. BY MICE. Now, we had not seen any evidence of any mice since Jason's Great Ethical Catch & Release Crusade of 2010, which coincidentally ended around the same time I spotted a big-ass garter snake... Read more →


So we got a little snow. Twenty-seven and a half inches of snow, to be exact, which piled up in massive drifts thanks to the blustery, blizzardy winds. And on our driveway, over and over, until we finally gave up on shoveling. ("I like how far back the house sits from the road," I said, once upon a time.) Luckily, unlike LAST TIME, ALL THE OTHER TIMES, we did not lose power. Or water or cable or wifi or even our damn minds. Yellow House withstood the onslaught and kept us warm and dry and Xboxed and jacuzzi tubbed, And we thank you, Yellow House, but oh dear God next year we're buying a snow blower. Our cul de sac is about evenly split right now between the original owners who bought during the 90s, and new families like us, who all moved in over the past year or so. And who were all experiencing our first real snow all over our nice new houses and big fat driveways and winding front sidewalks, armed with shovels, while the other half of the houses were firing up gasoline-powered snow throwers and nodding at us like, "welcome to the deep 'burbs, city... Read more →


Last night we received a little appetizer to the Big Blizzard-o-pocalypse that's headed our way, in the form of maybe an inch and a half of snow. It was just enough to strike fear in our hearts and fire under our asses to clean up the garage enough so we could fit our cars inside. We have NOT ONCE, EVER, actually parked our cars in the garage. Despite a 2-car garage being Jason's main non-negotiable house hunting feature, we very quickly filled it up with crap and garbage and bikes and old kitchen cabinets and fancy new tools and extra floor tile and extra wall tile and Blue Apron boxes and pallets pallets PALLETS. Ta-da! Cars inside, basically just in time for the snow to stop. Of course, we did sort of run out of steam (and room in the storage area) after awhile. So that's...happening. We've definitely got our organizing-while-snowbound work cut out for us. This morning, the inch and a half was more like an inch, but schools were delayed two hours anyway, which screws with my work productivity more than an actual full snow day for some reason. I decided to just keep Ike home from preschool... Read more →


Just came here to post evidence that for a brief moment in time, my oldest child had a floor. A floor completely devoid of Lego. Because I spent an entire afternoon turning this: And this: Into this: (Why yes, those are Ikea bins with glued-on Lego collection logos I cut out of instruction books after personally separating out every applicable minifigure, accessory, vehicle, spaceship, Ninja Warrior Jungle Cycle Whatever The Fuck.) (Why yes, I am in-between projects at work and a new contract gig starts next week but in the meantime I have a lot of extra time on my hands HOW DID YOU GUESS.) And this: Which is basically EVERYTHING ELSE, but I assure you is 100% Lego, as I also pulled out everything non-Lego from our now woefully too-small Lay-n-Go bag : (Why yes, that IS an entire package's worth of green cocktail-sized napkins. Where do you keep yours?) The giant rando bins aren't the best long-term solution but until I can settle on the right Lego-organizing Ikea Hack, they'll have to do. I'd say more smaller, categorized bins but HA HA LOOK AT HOW WELL THOSE ARE WORKING: That's Noah's room right now. I hung up some... Read more →


As you may recall (because I didn't stop talking about it for like, over a month), our move into the Yellow House was...kind of stressful. As a result, we still have a lot of furniture that the movers just randomly positioned in rooms without much thought or plan, because Jason and I were too busy panicking over our disastrous closing/paperwork nightmare, plus all the various property laws we were breaking. JUST PUT IT ANYWHERE! JUST GET IT OFF THE TRUCK! THEN GET THE TRUCK OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY SO WE CAN PRETEND NONE OF THIS IS HAPPENING! The boys' bedrooms got the worst of it -- the beds were all plunked right in the center of the rooms, we didn't really divide up side furniture very well, so Noah's room seemed big and cavernous while Ezra and Ike were stuck in overcrowded smaller rooms, and the little floor space they had around their beds quickly became a embarrassing swamp of toys/clutter/laundry. We'd tell them to go clean their rooms and they'd look at us all helplessly, because they had zero idea where to even start. And I can't say that I blamed them. Their rooms were just not very nice... Read more →


We threw a party! This is the only picture we took, the next morning: Okay wait I took this one too: In the lower right corner you can see our second, back-up recycling bin, similarly overflowing with bottles. Good show, friends, jolly good show. We were not partying with Guns N' Roses, pinky swear, but did manage to pack over 50 people into our house, most of whom were jam-packed into the new kitchen because we need to revisit our food/booze party flow mapping. But all in all, I think it went well! This was the biggest party we've ever attempted, and also our first Friendsgiving potluck. The turkeys came out delicious, everybody brought amazing apps/sides/desserts, kids and adults alike all seemed to have fun. I was a slightly nervous twitchy wreck about the party all month, but after we finished cleaning up on Sunday I asked Jason when we could throw ANOTHER party, because that was fun, but he just kind of stared at me silently for awhile and then took a nap on the couch. ...the couch right by our new COFFEE TABLE! Yayyyyyy. Wheeeee. Of course, now that the table is there it basically changes EVERYTHING and... Read more →


Hey remember all those damn pallets? It's okay if you don't. I practically forgot about them too until this week and I walked by them every single day, so thoroughly resigned to their continued existence that they ceased to register in my brain at all. But then stuff started happening! Cutting stuff! Staining stuff! COFFEE TABLE STUFF! And...well. That's actually as far as stuff has gone, because the hairpin legs we ordered haven't arrived yet. Today, hopefully. Because tomorrow we are hosting a huge-ass Friendsgiving/housewarming party and invited way, way too many people because we figured only half of them liked us enough to trek out to the new far-flung 'burbs but then almost everybody said they could come and gaaahhhh omg I don't have enough chairs or bowls or coffee tables. We should have enough turkey, though. I picked up two hefty-sized birds from a local farm yesterday which are currently brining away in coolers. The smaller one is getting deep fried, because I'm starting to suspect that moving to this house was all just a ploy to give Jason an excuse to buy himself toys like tile saws and Dremmels and deep fryers. (Although I mainly moved here... Read more →


The tile backsplash was installed almost entirely without incident. I KNOW RIGHT? I believe this is a direct result of me not really helping, other than providing Jason with rags occasionally and then getting the hell out of his way. And now the kitchen is done, mostly on schedule and well under budget, thanks to some nice Angie's List discounts, the seriously marked-down floor tile, and us sticking to our DIY guns on the painting and tile work. (Also plain white subway tile is seriously inexpensive. It's like the manufacturers haven't figured out that plain white subway tile is practically the new mason jar on Pinterest right now.) (Also also, black triangle thingies are vintage glass planters I got on Etsy. Top one holds our corkscrew and other small wine accessories and the bottom one catches the caps from the beer bottle opener in between. These were ABSOLUTELY the first order of hanging-up business once we painted.) Okay, I fibbed. We're installing some under cabinet lighting soon-ish and that lamp above the sink is still up for debate. I love it but it's too bright and hangs too close to eye level for Jason. I vote dimmer switch but he's... Read more →