HELLO HAPPY FRIDAY! HOW ARE YOU? ANY PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND? SORRY YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TALK LOUDER BECAUSE OH MY GOD THE NOISE. THE NOOOOOOIIIIIIIISSSSSSE. (Speakers on for that link to join in my misery and also Ike's amazing napping prowess, particularly for a child who was #NOTTIRED.) So. Day one resulted in some terrifically smashy progress. (Small dog gazing woefully at pantry wondering where her foodz went included for scale.) (Also someone tell me what to do about that center light, besides banish it to the depths of Bad Lighting Hell, obviously. Basic recessed lighting? A couple cool flush mount fixtures that I suppose exist but have been unable to find myself, at least for not an insane amount of money?) So as it turns out, the tile was not original to the house after all, but was installed at some point later, over a layer of plywood, which was then liquid nailed over some SUPER ATTRACTIVE peel-and-stick linoleum. Getting through all these layers of flooring is taking considerable effort and jackhammering and pulverizing and again, SO MUCH GODDAMN NOISE. Shit is starting to fall off walls in the basement, or migrate towards shelf edges, so yeah. Really... Read more →

So after finally unpacking (most of) the boxes and fully settling into the new digs, we decided it was high time to re-pack everything in the kitchen and blow some shit to smithereens. The kitchen was...obviously not a big selling point/major attraction for Yellow House. Everything is original and builders' grade, the floor tile is cracked, and there's just a lot of wear and tear on the cabinets and countertop. Sagging shelves, warped hinges, chips and scrapes. We knew going in that we needed to factor a kitchen remodel into our offer and budget. (Also could never figure out who, exactly, that SUPER LOW desk was intended for, as no chair or stool we own is the appropriate height. It's a desk for ants!) We also knew we were NOT going to do that thing where we waited and waited to do anything, only to invest in improvements right before we needed to move. We keep doing that. Stop doing that! Old Kitchen of Bland Blahness is getting demo'd to hell today. New Kitchen of...well, probably still Bland Blahness but at least more of a this century variety, with less floor cracks/Haunted Tiles and a countertop that's dark enough to... Read more →

1) We signed the contract and placed a deposit on a kitchen remodel yesterday! Sadness Kitchen of Bland Blahness will soon be no more, although it only JUST occurred to us that oh, this means we have to pack up everything in the kitchen AGAIN and live out of boxes and on crappy takeout food AGAIN. Pfft. NOTE: We are not doing any of it ourselves, nope nope nope sirree, other than a modest project of relocating some of the cabinets to the garage. This hopefully means the remodel go mostly smoothly, with only about a 75% chance of disaster, like us causing the back wall of the garage* to collapse in on the laundry room. The thing I am MOST looking forward to, actually, is replacing the floor tile, which extends from the kitchen all the way to the front door, and is similarly blah but pretty cracked up in places, and also possessed by a vengeful rage spirit from an early 2000s remake of a J-horror movie starring Buffy the Vampire Slayer. FACT. On our very first night in the new house (during which we MAY or MAY NOT have been residing there 100% legally), I woke up... Read more →

We're at the "decorating" part of the moving in process. All the essentials are out of boxes and in their (tentative, until I change my mind and redo everything in a fit of work procrastination) proper places, and our running list of things to buy is now mostly decorative as well. (Previously it was: "MOAR TRASH CANS!!" and "ALL THE PAPER TOWELS!!") We need a coffee table or two, and some non-see-through curtains on a couple windows, but everything else I've written down is like: "A Vase Or Basket Or Some Shit For Stairwell Landings," or "Something Big For Big Wall And Other Big Wall." Clearly, I have a true and singular design vision. "Something Big." "And Preferably On Sale." I found a cool wooden starburst mirror on sale in downtown Ellicott City, which was on sale probably because I'm the only person STILL referring to starburst mirrors as "cool," but it was 1) Big, 2) On Sale, and 3) Not Too Heavy So I Was Pretty Sure Could Carry It To My Car. It really wasn't THAT heavy, but oh God, it was definitely big. And awkward. I took up most of the sidewalk and could barely see over... Read more →

(I apologize for the earworm post title. But it popped into my head and now I'm stuck with it and now you all must suffer with me.) Ike started preschool yesterday. Once upon a time I suppose that would have been a Whole Entire Long-Winded Blog Post in and of itself, but...nah. At least three different people asked me if *I* was okay yesterday, probably expecting a lower lip tremble or a soft, off-key rendition of Sunrise, Sunset, but...nah. I drove him to school at 9:30. We walked in and he gave me a couple big-eyed wary looks about me leaving him, but then there was some Play Doh so bye Mom, I'm good, I got this. The school is barely five minutes from our house, so I came home, got some work done, then went and picked him up at noon. (He'll stay for lunch three times a week starting next month, but it's not a full-day program.) We came home and Ike promptly dozed off face first into his lunch because I guess that was some crazy intense Play Doh session. It's only been two days, but he seems to really enjoy it and looks forward to going... Read more →

Since our move did not go...um, exactly as planned, or even remotely smoothly, I ended up skipping over a whole slew of stuff that happened BEFORE everything went sideways/haywire/to shit. Thanks to a certain super helpful competent way good at their jobs relocation company (who I was giving the chance to privately make a few things right before publicly outing them but ha ha ha yeah that never happened thanks so much CARTUS CARTUS CARTUS), I was unable to enroll Noah and Ezra in their new school until just a few days before school started. Certainly not ideal, but amazingly I was far from the only parent who showed up that day with multiple kids and new county residency paperwork in tow. I handed over my triple-checked stacks of required documentation for my particular children, and then got to work filing out what felt like a million additional forms while the boys slowwwwwwwly slid off their chairs and into little whiny boredom puddles. About 15 minutes later, Noah's birth certificate vanished. Like: POOF. It never existed. I was told I never handed it to anyone, could I please get that to them, which hahahahahahahaha yeah no except I totally already... Read more →

I spent most of Sunday tackling the kids' toys. I sorted stuff into baskets and bins and organized everything into these two (amazing! deep! illuminated!) closets in the basement. And I mean ORGANIZED. The contents of the play kitchen may or may not be sorted by FOOD GROUP. So, naturally, five minutes later... That was ALL IKE, by the way. Two-plus years of Montessori education in action, yo. Luckily, it was a pretty quick and painless clean-up thanks to the bins! bins! I am obsessed with bins!!, and Ike and I had good long talk about playing with ONE THING AT A TIME and with less of an...aggressively nuclear kind of play style. (Not pictured: the play kitchen at the end of that hallway, dumped completely over on a pile of defeated Ninja Turtle villains.) My next project was setting up some bookshelves in the kids' bedroom hallway, so they can pick books out before bed. And it actually looked JUST LIKE THIS for almost a full hour. That's a damn personal household best. Read more →

Okay! First week in the new house! Who's ready for some amazeballs interior decorating p0rn? LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL Yeah, that's what's going on in almost every room right now. This particular pile is directly outside my office in the basement level, nearly barricading me in. We packed up about half of the old house ourselves, then had the movers come handle the rest of it. They did a great job, but perhaps went a little overboard on the packing paper to actual box contents ratio. Like I don't think my hairbrush and a random pile of already-broken crayons needed to each be separately wrapped in several layers of paper. One box I unpacked contained nothing but one laptop charger, a roll of cloth waxing strips , and a bag of cotton balls. Carefully and preciously individually wrapped, of course. So it's a bit frustrating that the more we unpack, the more of a mess builds up. We've been dragging boxes and paper out to the garage (where there is no room for our cars yet, only boxes and paper), but for the most part the house doesn't yet reflect how hard we've been working all week to settle in. (Especially because if... Read more →

Welp. It's been a week, all right. As you probably gathered from Instagram/Facebook, our move did not exactly go as planned. In fact, in the span of about an hour on Friday afternoon, things went from moving along with near military-like precision to a complete and total clusterfuck. I've relayed the events and details over text message about 500 times since then, I estimate, and I always include something like "someday this will make a great/funny story, but right now I just caaaaaan't." I'm still not sure we're at "someday" yet, but I guess I can try. On Friday morning, my in-laws arrived at the hotel we'd spent the night at and took the kids and pets so we could head to settlement on the townhouse. The plan was for them to head to Yellow House and hang out in the backyard, have a picnic lunch, and possibly let the movers in if they arrived before we got back from the second settlement. (We'd been graciously given the garage door code by the owners ahead of time.) Settlement #1 went off without the slightest hitch. We were in and out in under 20 minutes, congratulated our lovely buyers and that... Read more →

A Brief Update

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ZOMGZOMGZOMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFG AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JJJJJJASUOJLAOWPPNKJLLJLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND ETCETERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Headed out to finalize some school stuff today. Movers coming to finish packing tomorrow. (Oh god bless them I don't care just take our money and hellllllllp usssssss.) Loading the trucks and cleaning and saying goodbye to the townhouse on Thursday. Night in a hotel, then back-to-back settlements and moving into Yellow House on Friday. At least, that was the plan as of 10 minutes ago, and the plan has changed at least a dozen times this week. So ready for this to all be over, Internet. So, so ready. Read more →