We're at the "decorating" part of the moving in process. All the essentials are out of boxes and in their (tentative, until I change my mind and redo everything in a fit of work procrastination) proper places, and our running list of things to buy is now mostly decorative as well. (Previously it was: "MOAR TRASH CANS!!" and "ALL THE PAPER TOWELS!!") We need a coffee table or two, and some non-see-through curtains on a couple windows, but everything else I've written down is like: "A Vase Or Basket Or Some Shit For Stairwell Landings," or "Something Big For Big Wall And Other Big Wall." Clearly, I have a true and singular design vision. "Something Big." "And Preferably On Sale." I found a cool wooden starburst mirror on sale in downtown Ellicott City, which was on sale probably because I'm the only person STILL referring to starburst mirrors as "cool," but it was 1) Big, 2) On Sale, and 3) Not Too Heavy So I Was Pretty Sure Could Carry It To My Car. It really wasn't THAT heavy, but oh God, it was definitely big. And awkward. I took up most of the sidewalk and could barely see over... Read more →

(I apologize for the earworm post title. But it popped into my head and now I'm stuck with it and now you all must suffer with me.) Ike started preschool yesterday. Once upon a time I suppose that would have been a Whole Entire Long-Winded Blog Post in and of itself, but...nah. At least three different people asked me if *I* was okay yesterday, probably expecting a lower lip tremble or a soft, off-key rendition of Sunrise, Sunset, but...nah. I drove him to school at 9:30. We walked in and he gave me a couple big-eyed wary looks about me leaving him, but then there was some Play Doh so bye Mom, I'm good, I got this. The school is barely five minutes from our house, so I came home, got some work done, then went and picked him up at noon. (He'll stay for lunch three times a week starting next month, but it's not a full-day program.) We came home and Ike promptly dozed off face first into his lunch because I guess that was some crazy intense Play Doh session. It's only been two days, but he seems to really enjoy it and looks forward to going... Read more →

Since our move did not go...um, exactly as planned, or even remotely smoothly, I ended up skipping over a whole slew of stuff that happened BEFORE everything went sideways/haywire/to shit. Thanks to a certain super helpful competent way good at their jobs relocation company (who I was giving the chance to privately make a few things right before publicly outing them but ha ha ha yeah that never happened thanks so much CARTUS CARTUS CARTUS), I was unable to enroll Noah and Ezra in their new school until just a few days before school started. Certainly not ideal, but amazingly I was far from the only parent who showed up that day with multiple kids and new county residency paperwork in tow. I handed over my triple-checked stacks of required documentation for my particular children, and then got to work filing out what felt like a million additional forms while the boys slowwwwwwwly slid off their chairs and into little whiny boredom puddles. About 15 minutes later, Noah's birth certificate vanished. Like: POOF. It never existed. I was told I never handed it to anyone, could I please get that to them, which hahahahahahahaha yeah no except I totally already... Read more →

I spent most of Sunday tackling the kids' toys. I sorted stuff into baskets and bins and organized everything into these two (amazing! deep! illuminated!) closets in the basement. And I mean ORGANIZED. The contents of the play kitchen may or may not be sorted by FOOD GROUP. So, naturally, five minutes later... That was ALL IKE, by the way. Two-plus years of Montessori education in action, yo. Luckily, it was a pretty quick and painless clean-up thanks to the bins! bins! I am obsessed with bins!!, and Ike and I had good long talk about playing with ONE THING AT A TIME and with less of an...aggressively nuclear kind of play style. (Not pictured: the play kitchen at the end of that hallway, dumped completely over on a pile of defeated Ninja Turtle villains.) My next project was setting up some bookshelves in the kids' bedroom hallway, so they can pick books out before bed. And it actually looked JUST LIKE THIS for almost a full hour. That's a damn personal household best. Read more →

Okay! First week in the new house! Who's ready for some amazeballs interior decorating p0rn? LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL Yeah, that's what's going on in almost every room right now. This particular pile is directly outside my office in the basement level, nearly barricading me in. We packed up about half of the old house ourselves, then had the movers come handle the rest of it. They did a great job, but perhaps went a little overboard on the packing paper to actual box contents ratio. Like I don't think my hairbrush and a random pile of already-broken crayons needed to each be separately wrapped in several layers of paper. One box I unpacked contained nothing but one laptop charger, a roll of cloth waxing strips , and a bag of cotton balls. Carefully and preciously individually wrapped, of course. So it's a bit frustrating that the more we unpack, the more of a mess builds up. We've been dragging boxes and paper out to the garage (where there is no room for our cars yet, only boxes and paper), but for the most part the house doesn't yet reflect how hard we've been working all week to settle in. (Especially because if... Read more →

Welp. It's been a week, all right. As you probably gathered from Instagram/Facebook, our move did not exactly go as planned. In fact, in the span of about an hour on Friday afternoon, things went from moving along with near military-like precision to a complete and total clusterfuck. I've relayed the events and details over text message about 500 times since then, I estimate, and I always include something like "someday this will make a great/funny story, but right now I just caaaaaan't." I'm still not sure we're at "someday" yet, but I guess I can try. On Friday morning, my in-laws arrived at the hotel we'd spent the night at and took the kids and pets so we could head to settlement on the townhouse. The plan was for them to head to Yellow House and hang out in the backyard, have a picnic lunch, and possibly let the movers in if they arrived before we got back from the second settlement. (We'd been graciously given the garage door code by the owners ahead of time.) Settlement #1 went off without the slightest hitch. We were in and out in under 20 minutes, congratulated our lovely buyers and that... Read more →

A Brief Update

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ZOMGZOMGZOMFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFG AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JJJJJJASUOJLAOWPPNKJLLJLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND ETCETERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Headed out to finalize some school stuff today. Movers coming to finish packing tomorrow. (Oh god bless them I don't care just take our money and hellllllllp usssssss.) Loading the trucks and cleaning and saying goodbye to the townhouse on Thursday. Night in a hotel, then back-to-back settlements and moving into Yellow House on Friday. At least, that was the plan as of 10 minutes ago, and the plan has changed at least a dozen times this week. So ready for this to all be over, Internet. So, so ready. Read more →

Eight Crazy Days

This is where a blog post should go. This is where I should be typing something of substance, or at least stringing words together in a somewhat coherent manner, to create said blog post. Instead, my brain is reduced to nothing but a string of letters, onomatopoeia style, as I am completely overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done before the move. Which is NEXT WEEK. When did that happen? The last time I checked I still had like, three weeks to go. What the ever-loving FUCK, oh ye relentless ongoing march of time? Can you just chill for a second? I toured a couple preschools earlier this week, one of which had the word "Montessori" in it but then I showed up and was like, "you keep using that word, blah blah tired Princess Bride quote, NOPE." Another one was really excessively Jesus-y. I'm going back early next week to tour another one that seems only moderately Jesus-y. Oh, and to enroll Noah and Ezra in the public school, with LESS THAN A WEEK TO GO BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS. Surprise! Scooch over and make some room for the Storch boys, kids. We chose our crazy short-slash-ambitious closing date... Read more →

Hi, Yellow House! (Yellow House be all, "Does this minivan make me look fat?") We had our inspection yesterday, and didn't really have much choice but to bring the kids along. They'd never been inside (we kept the car running, DVDs playing, snacks flowing during the house-hunting days, probably spending as much on gas as we would've blown on a sitter), and while there's always the nubbin of worry that the whole sale can find a way to go south, we were reasonably confident that it was okay to introduce them to the Yellow House. (The relocation company JUST had an inspection completed last month and gave us the report. So we weren't expecting to find any disasters or deal-breakers, and our own inspector did not! You go, Yellow House!) We started in the backyard. A very good first impression. There's also a sandbox, kid-sized picnic table AND a tire swing. And a hutch for bunnies. (NO BUNNIES PLZ.) Young townhouse-dwelling minds were BLOWN. Since I know so many of you have been like PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS, I must add a caveat here that I didn't really take the greatest blog-friendly photos yesterday. Most of what I snapped were more... Read more →

The Search for the Yellow House

The first thing you do when looking for a new house, of course, is to write down all the features you want. And then divide these into categories of "must haves" and "would be nice." It's important to be realistic here, and recognize that it's unlikely that any house will have everything on your list, and be prepared to compromise. As an example, our original list was probably something like this: MUST HAVES: 1) Single family 2) 4-5 bedrooms, with a spot for an office 3) 2-car garage 4) On a cul de sac 5) Private yard 6) Space for a garden 7) How about a pool? 8) How about a HOT TUB? 9) How about a HOT TUB TIME MACHINE! 10) Sweet-ass kitchen from the future, completely redone, with stupid shit like a sink just for filling up pots of pasta water and fancy moving shelves in the cabinets and I don't know, Bluetooth-enabled microwaves. 11) Also a gas range 12) Sweet-ass master bathroom with a giant jacuzzi tub that I can swim laps in 13) A MILLION CLOSETS! 14) Kids rooms that aren't right by my room 15) Also a door that actually locks 16) New roof, windows,... Read more →