THANG ONE: Noah preformed in his very first concert with the school band. We had to rush out and buy this entire outfit, right down to the shoes, because we are sloppy heathens who don't own church clothes. Or even nice clothes. Noah was a bit nervous about the concert, even expressing hope over the weekend that he would catch the stomach bug from his brothers and be unable to perform. But he didn't, and he did absolutely great, playing front and center onstage as first chair (!!) saxophone. THANG TWO: CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSS! Christmas! Christmas. Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas. So! This is a story worth telling: Jason takes Noah to his saxophone lesson every weekend at a local music place, and about a month ago started sending me photos of this guitar (Epiphone Wildkat) they had for sale. It was used, in perfect condition, at a really good price, and every Saturday he'd take it off the wall and play it for a bit, falling ever more deeply in love. As he'd JUST purchased a regular guitar off Craigslist (to jam with/encourage Ezra, who only wanted a red "rock-n-roll" guitar for Christmas), I remained unimpressed, said no, and also I was... Read more →

Star Wars is a deeply special thing for our nerdtastic family, going all the way back to my very first date with Jason. We love it. Insane for it. Get a case of the warm and fuzzies just from thinking about it. Despite having our young hearts broken by the prequels, being able to introduce our children to the original trilogy brought back the love and magic big time, every time. (Ike, watching Empire Strikes Back for the first time last weekend. I've never seen him so blown away by a movie. When it was over, we said SCREW BEDTIME IT'S JEDITIME and let everybody stay up past midnight.) So there was no way -- NO WAY -- I was going to let my stupid-ass eyes (stupid ass-eyes?) stop me from attending the early Saturday morning showing of Force Awakens we'd bought tickets for ages ago. I was 99.9% sure I was no longer contagious (no red/pink, drainage, swelling, just the residual blurred vision but even that's markedly improving every day) but took all the proper washing/sanitation precautions and was extra mindful about keeping anything from touching my eyes. And it was wonderful. Just...all the wonderful things. I laughed, I... Read more →

We threw a party! This is the only picture we took, the next morning: Okay wait I took this one too: In the lower right corner you can see our second, back-up recycling bin, similarly overflowing with bottles. Good show, friends, jolly good show. We were not partying with Guns N' Roses, pinky swear, but did manage to pack over 50 people into our house, most of whom were jam-packed into the new kitchen because we need to revisit our food/booze party flow mapping. But all in all, I think it went well! This was the biggest party we've ever attempted, and also our first Friendsgiving potluck. The turkeys came out delicious, everybody brought amazing apps/sides/desserts, kids and adults alike all seemed to have fun. I was a slightly nervous twitchy wreck about the party all month, but after we finished cleaning up on Sunday I asked Jason when we could throw ANOTHER party, because that was fun, but he just kind of stared at me silently for awhile and then took a nap on the couch. ...the couch right by our new COFFEE TABLE! Yayyyyyy. Wheeeee. Of course, now that the table is there it basically changes EVERYTHING and... Read more →

Hey remember all those damn pallets? It's okay if you don't. I practically forgot about them too until this week and I walked by them every single day, so thoroughly resigned to their continued existence that they ceased to register in my brain at all. But then stuff started happening! Cutting stuff! Staining stuff! COFFEE TABLE STUFF! And...well. That's actually as far as stuff has gone, because the hairpin legs we ordered haven't arrived yet. Today, hopefully. Because tomorrow we are hosting a huge-ass Friendsgiving/housewarming party and invited way, way too many people because we figured only half of them liked us enough to trek out to the new far-flung 'burbs but then almost everybody said they could come and gaaahhhh omg I don't have enough chairs or bowls or coffee tables. We should have enough turkey, though. I picked up two hefty-sized birds from a local farm yesterday which are currently brining away in coolers. The smaller one is getting deep fried, because I'm starting to suspect that moving to this house was all just a ploy to give Jason an excuse to buy himself toys like tile saws and Dremmels and deep fryers. (Although I mainly moved here... Read more →

We have floors! And a full set of cabinets! Including one that is wrong and needs to be re-ordered! (Arrived with doors instead of drawers, nobody noticed at first because we were simply blinded with joy over having cabinets again.) Now we're just waiting on the countertops and new light fixtures to arrive, and to settle on a paint color. We went to the paint store yesterday, because for some reason we mistook ourselves for Confident Proactive Decision Makers and thought we'd be able to pick out not only a color for the kitchen, but an entirely new color scheme for the entire main level of the house. We'd start with the kitchen and then move into the dining room, living room, the foyer and all the various big ass walls and we'd come home with a whole slew of paint and FUCK YEAH HOME IMPROVEMENT. Instead, we were promptly overwhelmed with all the choices and frustrated by our inability to remember/recognize any of the paint colors we liked from the old house. (Although the million barely different shades of yellow-ish beige that tormented our touch-up/patching efforts for nine damn years are still all seared into my brain, probably forever.)... Read more →

We're at the "decorating" part of the moving in process. All the essentials are out of boxes and in their (tentative, until I change my mind and redo everything in a fit of work procrastination) proper places, and our running list of things to buy is now mostly decorative as well. (Previously it was: "MOAR TRASH CANS!!" and "ALL THE PAPER TOWELS!!") We need a coffee table or two, and some non-see-through curtains on a couple windows, but everything else I've written down is like: "A Vase Or Basket Or Some Shit For Stairwell Landings," or "Something Big For Big Wall And Other Big Wall." Clearly, I have a true and singular design vision. "Something Big." "And Preferably On Sale." I found a cool wooden starburst mirror on sale in downtown Ellicott City, which was on sale probably because I'm the only person STILL referring to starburst mirrors as "cool," but it was 1) Big, 2) On Sale, and 3) Not Too Heavy So I Was Pretty Sure Could Carry It To My Car. It really wasn't THAT heavy, but oh God, it was definitely big. And awkward. I took up most of the sidewalk and could barely see over... Read more →

Wow. I am so frazzled right now I completely forgot to blogshame my amazing husband about this: While he was away last week, I decided to be SuperNice SuperWife and organize his closet for him. Or maybe for me, and my sanity, because he kept saying he would do it but then wouldn't, even though I was CLEARLY staring at him hard enough to SET HIM ON FIRE. I'd already tackled my closet and shelves, purging mercilessly along the way, in hopes that nosy prospective homebuyers would be wowed by my organizational skills and the illusion that OMG LOOK AT ALL THAT SPACE WE SHALL NEVER EVER OUTGROW ALL THAT SPACE HOORAY! Suckers. Here's all the crap I pulled out: (Okay, so I know it's unwise to be publicly ragging on my house right before we attempt to sell it, but I feel like the closet thing is a trick we all do, we all know we all do it, and yet we all fall for it, every time. The previous homeowners did it. The homeowners of our next house will do it. I'm doing it right fucking now and I still wander around open houses randomly peeking into artfully... Read more →

The Day of the Beepening

Beep. Beep Beep. Beep. Jason and I were both working from home when the beeping started. It wasn't loud, but it wouldn't stop. Beep. Beep Beep. Beep. Jason didn't hear it at first, but of course after I asked what is SAM HILL is that BEEPING it was all he could hear. Beep. Beep Beep. Beep. It definitely wasn't anything in our house, and after opening the window it got noticeably louder. I went outside, but the beeping took on a weird echo-like effect in our quiet neighborhood and seemed to be coming from everywhere. It wasn't a car alarm, but after spotting a construction crew repairing the sidewalk up the street, I figured it must have something to do with them. Really annoying, but would probably stop soon. Plus, I needed to leave for my piercing appointment, so I didn't have to listen to it anymore ANYWAY. Have fun, Jason! Jason did not have fun. Jason was going BONKERS. The beeping would not stop. There was no escaping it. You couldn't help but fixate on it. You could hear it everywhere in our house. And in between the beeps your brain would stupidly think, "oh, maybe it'll stop this... Read more →

The first great crisis of Spring Break 2015 is here and happening, and has the ranks thoroughly divided. A single Lego minifigure is missing. It is apparently a VERY IMPORTANT minifigure, because its status as lost has rendered Noah's entire Hero Factory collection useless, because he cannot play Hero Factory without this minifigure. They have told me this minifigure's name 14 billion times, but I still have no idea who or what they are talking about. I think it's red? According to Noah, the minifigure was last seen in Ike's possession. Ike maintains that he put it back in Noah's room where it belongs. Again, according to Noah, this is a damned dirty lie because he's looked "everywhere" in his room and it's not there. I remain neutral, because I'm pretty sure looking "everywhere" involved little more than standing in the center of the room and sort of idly glancing around, the way he also looks "everywhere" for his shoes, which are typically three feet away and in his direct line of sight. And yet also nowhere to be found! Strange, that. After more fruitless searching (at one point they attempted to use Ike like a search dog, making him... Read more →

I was out with Noah on Saturday morning when someone asked him if he was excited for Easter. Oh. Right! That. Uhh. (Geez, Easter Bunny. Get your shit together.) A quick trip to Target for some books and candy later, we were officially ready to half-ass this holiday. I don't think anybody minded. (And yes, I'm aware they all need haircuts. That was the original Saturday afternoon plan that got bumped for Easter shopping. Because I can only accomplish one thing a day because I AM NOT A TIME MANAGEMENT WIZARD.) (Nice bedroom slippers, Amy. Thanks for dressing up for the occasion.) ALSO, IMPORTANT TRUTHER MOMENT. If you follow my husband on Facebook/Instagram, you may notice that, despite regularly posting photos of/from our back deck, SOMETHING IS CONSISTENTLY MISSING: Yes. Good work on the container garden, husband! Looks really nice and organized. Shame I have access to your camera roll online though. NICE TRY WITH UR LIES. Starting to wonder, though: Are we really watching the tire, or is the tire watching us? This has been TIREWATCH 2015: THE TIREWATCHENING, brought to you by your friendly neighborhood assholes who didn't even bother dyeing real Easter eggs this year and who... Read more →