November 05, 2015
GO AWAY BOYS. THIS POST IS ABOUT LADY BUSINESS.
So here's a thing that happens to me. Tell me if this happens to you.
I realize I am running dangerously low on a Certain Essential Item. I make a mental note to purchase Certain Essential Item the next time I'm at the store.
Fast forward to the next time I am at the store: There's a thing that I need. What was that thing? I feel like it was important OH LOOK THERE'S A SALE ON GOLDFISH AND SCENTED CANDLES.
And then I come home without my Certain Essential Item, and less than 24 hours later it's like HO HO HO AND GOOD MORNING GROWN-UP LADY IN HER REPRODUCING YEARS, WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT THIS?
And then it's a frantic search in hopes of finding an old, beat-up Certain Essential Item in the bottom of a handbag somewhere, followed by a mad dash to the store where Certain Essential Items are never on sale, but OH LOOK BULK HALLOWEEN CANDY IS 50% OFF LET'S EAT SOME FEELINGS.
(Tampons, yes. I am talking about tampons here.)
One of the reasons (among many) we switched to cloth diapers back in the day was our weird inability to have enough disposable diapers on hand. We'd either completely forget to buy them, or wouldn't buy enough because we were expecting a growth spurt and didn't want to overstock on a smaller size, but the result was the same: A mad dash to the store with fingers crossed and baby in a too-small swim diaper.
Likewise, I did briefly hope the solution to my ongoing feminine product idiocy would be a reusable option. And I tried! I really tried. They are just not my jam, at least on a full-time basis. I prefer tampons, although YES YES I KNOW I KNOW there's all kinds of crap in most of them that really don't belong that up close and personal with our ladyparts. It's only the year 2015, far, far too early in civilization's development to come up with a better, more convenient way to deal with menstruation, right?
(INSERT INFORMERCIAL SEGUE OF AMY BUMBLING AROUND WITH MAXI PADS STUCK TO HER FACE IN FRUSTRATION)
Ladies, I am here to testify that indeed, there IS a better way. Look at these pretty little boxes I received from LOLA:
They came in the mail! And they will come again, whenever I need them! Even if I completely space out and forget that I need them!
AND AND AND AND! Unlike other multi-pack boxes that contain approximately seventeen million more of whatever absorbency you rarely use and only a fraction of the kind you really need, you can customize a LOLA box to contain exactly the assortment you want. Never again go digging around for a light in a box full of leftover supers.
(INFORMERCIAL GOES FULL VIBRANT COLOR, AMY NO LONGER LOOKS LIKE MURDERING ANYBODY)
100% hypoallergenic cotton, BPA-free applicator, biodegradable, no dyes or fragrances or animal testing or other sad crap that has no business going near your vagina.
Thanks, LOLA. I needed that. (And yoooou!)
The first 100 readers to use the code AMALAH will get 50% off your order*, and with LOLA boxes priced at $10 a box (or $18 for two), that's a great box of tampons for barely any dollars. Go here to check them out!
*New customers in the continental U.S. only (sorry Alaska & Hawaii). LOLA is a subscription service but you can change, skip or cancel anytime.