June 09, 2014
I am more than a little concerned that this place is far too good to be true, and that it is all a dream, perhaps some kind of hallucination after I had a psychotic break in the hallway outside customs in the Montego Bay airport, because our flight ran out of immigration forms at row 27, and all five us were in row 31, and thus had to fill out all five forms while sitting on the floor of a long narrow hallway, loose passports and children and backpacks spread all over the place, trying to fill in the correct information but we were rushing too much and kept making mistakes, like putting Ezra's passport number on Ike's custom form because the baby photos on their passports look too much alike. And then everybody had to go pee at different times and Jason kept missing signature fields and like, three extra flights arrived and lined up while we were still stuck in that hallway and ARGLE BLARGLE GAH GAH GAH WE ARE NEVER GETTING OUT OF HERE EEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Of course, we did get out of there, eventually. We emerged exhausted and frustrated and annoyed at everything and remained that way for all of 30 seconds after spotting our Bluefields driver, who came and welcomed us and did not seem weirded out by how I promptly exploded into a melty little puff of happiness and butterflies. Because it was all going to be okay now.
Maybe even a little more than "okay."
(The nanny braids Ike's hair to keep it out of his eyes at the beach, which yeah, el-oh-el, fine, we'll trim it up when we get home, promise. But eventually the braid slides out and he's left with pretty much the greatest head of humidity-fueled ringlets you've ever seen.)
(THE HAIRZ CANNOT BE TAMED!)
(Look at that giant teenager. Who's he here with?)
(Our villa has a very spoiled little cat, so we have happily adopted a Free Bonus Vacation Kitten [FBVK]. The boys call her Puss [as in Boots] and she sits on our laps and purrs for hours and Ilovehersomuch and oh God, nobody tell Max.)
I could sit here posting photos all day, but Ike is yanking on my elbow right now because it's time to get into the pool. It's ALWAYS time to into the pool, by the way. I don't think they understand why we ever get out. (Duh, because our cups are empty and the bar is over that way.)
Tomorrow I have allowed my husband to convince me to 1) voluntarily wake up at the crack of dawn, 2) get on a boat at 5:30 a.m. and 3) go fishing for our actual dinner. That's going to be...yeah. STAY TUNED.
If anyone is currently looking to book themselves a for-real, amazeballs, not-messing-around Vacation (with a capital V), Bluefields gave me a promo code thingie:
Code is: jamalah,mon
Code is good for 7 nights off-peak rentals in the 2014 season.
Bookings from NOW until Saturday the 21st of June: First 5 bookings pay for 6 nights and get one night free, plus an overnight nanny for one night of your choice.
Bookings from the 21st of June to the 12th of July: Overnight nanny for one night, a two-hour snorkel trip, and a couple’s massage.